This story is a slow burn. There is no sex until the end. If this is not you cup of tea, go drink coffee instead.
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It was seven in the evening when I disengaged a cart from the row and began my route through the store. I can't remember a single trip that didn't result in running into at least one person I knew. Unlike Lee, who wanted to shop in peace and hated the fact I was always engaging with people, I looked forward to these little social trips. Even when I was on a mission for something quick like meat and cheese, ice cream, or bread and milk, I still found joy in interacting with people.
I'm not implying that I was popular, that I had a fan following, because I didn't, not really anyway. I did, however, have a public job. Some might even say I was a public figure. I had more followers on social media than most people in town, not enough to be verified, but for a small town, it was a big number. Granted, most of those followers were much, much younger.
That's because I worked with teenagers. I was the director of a Youth Evolution Outreach, YEVO. Our main mission was to help kids from low income, homeless, and broken homes. It wasn't exclusive though, so over the years we had attracted kids from every walk of life. In a high school of six hundred, I had over one hundred kids at club every week. That was insane considering different kids came on different weeks because of other obligations like home life, sports, homework, work, etc. At one point, there were over three hundred and fifty kids that had attended at some point during the school year.
Over fifty percent of the school. No pressure.
I was a thirty-two-year-old guy that spent the majority of his life with teenagers and I would never have changed a thing. I was in their world, doing the things they loved. I earn the right to speak truth into their lives. Teens get a bad rap for being dumbasses but when you get past all the bullshit, like I had the privilege of doing, you get to see that they're pretty awesome people. Awesome people that make some questionable life choices. Not all that different from their adult counterparts.
It was the parents that drove me nuts. They think their kid should be number one, even if their kids were an annoying little shit head (because yes, I'm human and think some teens are annoying as shit). They also thought they should have full access to my life. I didn't disagree. I spent time with kids and I wanted parents to trust me. I had no problem living a transparent life. I had a private life but not a secret life.
The difference between the two was simple. A private life was knowing I didn't have to share everything while knowing I had nothing to hide. If my private life got exposed, I had nothing to be ashamed of. A secret life was just that, a secret. It was doing things behind closed doors that you'd be ashamed of, such as an affair, addiction, inappropriate relationship with minors, etc. I had none of those.
Every week I shared bits of my life. If anyone had questions all they had to do was ask. I always felt like people kept too many secrets and I loved the look on someone's face when they realized they weren't alone. That the shame or embarrassment they thought was unique to only them was actually common to those around them, it's just that no one talked about it.
So, between the kids I worked with, the parents I dealt with, the adults that worked with me, and the community that supported me; my social network was wide.
I wandered down the produce aisle trying not to buy too much. I ate healthily but also had a terrible habit of buying too much produce and then tossing it out. I picked up a melon and sniffed the side then thumped it. I always wondered how you would tell if it's ready. After repeating this on a few different fruits, I finally set one in the cart.
"Hey, Nash."
I looked up to see William and smiled brightly. He was the dad of two kids in YEVO, a monthly donor, and more importantly, a volunteer leader.
"William!" I greeted him, giving him a strong handshake. "I didn't get a chance to the other day, but I wanted to thank you for helping out at the fundraiser last weekend. It was busier than I anticipated and I couldn't have done it without you. So thanks," I squeezed his hand once more before letting go.
He waved me off.
"Nothing to it. I'm always willing to help out. Plus, no one expects you to do everything."
"Well, thanks anyway. You da man."
We both laughed and talked about upcoming YEVO events including the last two clubs of the year (we go off the school year calendar) and summer camp. Spring was always a busy work season for me but after camp, the summer was calm until we geared up for fall.
"I saw you speak yesterday. You killed it like always. It was fun watching the kids react to your words. You have a gift."
I didn't like being complimented. I never wanted to come off as prideful and sometimes that's how I felt when I was constantly praised. I didn't feel prideful, I felt like others thought I was prideful. But Williams' words were genuine and he had a way of making me feel good without fear of judgment.
"Thank you. I was a bit nervous. It's not easy talking to a large group of kids about things like abstinence, self-respect, and healthy relationships without fear that they're rolling their eyes and laughing at you."
"No, I understand, but you gave them a lot to think about. Most of them will continue to do what they've always done, but you planted seeds in their life, ones that might not grow today or tomorrow, but they'll remember things you said and at some point, those words will take root."
And that statement was something I lived by.
A few minutes later I was back to grocery shopping and by the time I was ready to check out, I'd run into three more people. Two of which I hadn't seen in ages.
I was smiling as I pushed the cart through the parking lot toward my truck. It had been a long week and the weekend wasn't one for rest. I had enough self-awareness to know the introvert in me was drained and in desperate need of re-charging.
When I got home I put the groceries away and started looking up potential vacations online. I tried to go somewhere twice a year. Somewhere I hadn't been. One of the trips was with my husband, Leland. The second trip I usually went solo or with a friend. I know it sounds weird to vacation without your spouse but Lee was a successful lawyer who had a hard time taking off work.
He enjoyed vacations, but not like I did. And as much as I loved the guy, traveling with him was not always fun. He's a type A personality and it drove him nuts when things weren't planned out to the minute. I was a
fly by the seat of my pants
traveler who preferred to have a rough itinerary while letting life lead the way. He got to the airport three hours early while I was fine arriving at the gate after boarding commenced.
I found a nice balance. My 'Leland' vacation was usually a rest and relaxation centered event that starred a beautiful sandy beach and a full-service hotel. While my 'Nash' vacation was all about shared hostels and sketchy food, things that made Lee wonder if I was looking for a death wish.
I was browsing my way through Thailand, Vietnam, and Cambodia when my phone rang. I looked at the phone and smiled, then swiped to answer the video chat.
"Hey you," I said with a giant grin.
"Miss me?" Lee asked.
"Not even a little," I held up a carton of ice cream and he laughed. Every time I bought ice cream he ate it all before I had a chance to get my hands on it.
"You're not gonna wait for me? You've always been so selfish," he whined and pouted.
He was adorable, and after more than a decade, he still kept me on my toes. He had really dark blonde hair that he kept in a stylish cut. He was busy being a lawyer. Or at least I thought so. I thought the softness around his waist was incredibly sexy and I let him know it all the time...much to his annoyance.
"Oh stop, I'll save you some," taking a giant bite and slowly savoring it while he watched.
"You're so cruel."
"What?" I said innocently.
Before he could say anything, he yawned. This three hour time difference is killing me. I can barely keep my eyes open."
He was right. His blue eyes looked super tired.
