The haircut wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I wanted a basic buzz cut or something equally untouchable but Kelsea, in no uncertain terms, told me to fuck off.
"Someone with hair like yours should be jailed for such a crime. You're not ten anymore. Buzzcut should be banished from your vocabulary."
The end result was a little too flashy and big city for me but it looked damn good. It was sharp and crisp on the sides with some length on top. I was worried I wouldn't be able to duplicate her style technique but she swore it was my kind of a low maintenance situation.
I tugged on the top, there was definitely enough for someone to run their fingers through and, even though it wasn't what I thought I wanted, I couldn't deny how good the change felt. Out with the old and in with the new. Kelsea had really nailed it. Maybe I was romanticizing the power of a new hair cut but it felt like a weight had been lifted. I left her shop feeling like a new man, one who could face whatever was thrown my way.
****
Since the split with Lee, Penn had been overly interested in my wellbeing. If I wasn't quick to respond to his calls, he'd show up at my door to see if everything was okay. It was something I came to appreciate about his character. So, it come as no a shock to see Penn's truck still at the cottage when I came back.
"Whoa," he stood from the couch as I walked through the door, his eyes plastered to my hair. "I conjured up every imaginable reason why you ran out of here earlier and a haircut was not one of them."
"Yeah," I ran my fingers through my newly trimmed locks. "I'm sorry about that. It's just, I don't know. There was a—uh, a moment today with Lee." I shook my head and walked to the kitchen for a cup of water. I was still trying to unwrap exactly how I felt when Lee had touched me. The way he looked at me with love and desire, two things that could not possibly be real anymore.
"Oh," he looked taken aback. "Are you guys going to reconcile?"
"
What?"
I almost choked on my water. "God no. No," I help my hands up like '
whoa man, no way'.
"Ok, I mean, you said there was a moment—"
"Yes, but not
that
kind of moment, not for me anyway. It was a gross moment. Here—I'll show you." I stood in front of Penn and put my hands on his shoulders so we were squared up. "Pretend like you're me and I'm Lee." I took a deep breath to get into character then reached out and ran my fingers through his hair.
"If I had known how sexy you are with long hair, I would've—" I said in the same longing, sleazy tone Lee had delivered it with earlier. We stood there for a moment as Penn registered what Lee had done.
Lee slapped my hand way, much the same way I wanted to do to Lee. "He wouldn't have?
What
?" He asked, his irritation building. "What wouldn't he have done?"
"Great question. Not slept around behind my back? I have no clue." I took a step back, "Now tell me, how do you think I felt when he did that?"
Penn used both hands and rubbed his hair like he was trying to get a pound of sawdust out of it. "Like you wanted to burn all your hair off."
"Exactly," I laughed. "I still don't know how I feel about it all but I know I needed to cut it off. He also said he didn't like this," I rubbed the stubble that was growing on my face. "So, I'll be growing this out while on vacation."
Penn scratched my beard and smiled. "The facial hair looks good on you. It has a strawberry tint that looks good."
I felt like a cat purring. Damnit. Part of my rash decision to cut my hair was so Penn wouldn't have a reason to touch me. Yet, I couldn't stop myself from enjoying it. Unlike the punch-in-the-gut feeling I got when Lee touched me, Penn's touch made me feel good, calmer.
"Well, don't get used to it," I said. "As soon as I serve Lee, I'll probably shave it off as a giant
fuck you
."
"Sounds good." Penn gave my beard one last scratch then pulled away. "Grow it, shave it, braid it. Whatever makes you happy."
I wanted to flip him off for always having the perfect response. Instead, I made him dinner. My plan to shop for one didn't last but I'd been foolish to think it would. Me over-reacting about my feelings wasn't going to stop him from being my friend.
****
I was at Penn's place for a change. It was only the second time I'd been there and that was hardly fair in the grand scheme of things. It was about time I got off my ass and contributed to our friendship. I couldn't expect him to be the one making all the effort. That's how I found myself with burning shoulders as we hung lap siding.
"Are you good with cars?" I asked Penn.
"I can get around," he shrugged oh so humbly. He was a Knott after all, that meant almost everything came naturally to him. "Why?"
"Something's going on with my truck. It's fine when I start it in the morning but once I've been driving it for a while, turns into a total slug. I press on the gas and it barely accelerates."
He asked me a few questions, some to which I didn't have the answers. "Hmm," he hummed as he continued to hang siding on the house. "It could be a couple different things. I can take a look at it later if you'd like."
"I'd like." It was more than I was expecting. I was only looking for a little guidance before sending it to the mechanic.
We continued to work on the house until late afternoon. I learned so much from him and he was patient as always. After we cleaned up and I was getting ready to head home, Penn stopped me.
"Why don't you leave the Suburban here and take my truck home? That will give me a chance to check it out.
"Oh no, it's fine," I waved him off. "I don't need your truck. I can leave my truck and stay around at the cottage for a day, no biggie."
Penn rolled his eyes. "I doubt that. You're leaving in five days. I'm sure you have plenty to do."
I really did. I just didn't want to inconvenience him. I took the keys and thanked him. His truck had a small lift, large tires, and black wheels that matched the custom black paint job. It looked like he'd had a lot of customized stuff done to it and it definitely stood out in a crowd. It was so big I really had to pull myself up into the thing.
There was this stupid feeling of happiness when I situated myself in his seat. It was like being in high school again; driving your boyfriends' truck for the first time.
I had to school my features because Penn was watching me and I didn't want to look like a giddy teen. I bit the inside of my cheek as I fired up the diesel engine. He smiled and waved as I drove off. It wasn't until I was out of sight that I laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. Still, I couldn't stop smiling.
Oh, don't mind me, just driving the beau's truck.
I ran a bunch of errands the next day, mostly an excuse to drive Penn's truck. The looks I got as I drove through town were comical. I was even pulled over at one point. Lord knows Penn never let anyone drive his truck before. Oh the flags I raised.
It was late afternoon when Penn stopped by in his work truck. "Do you know how many phone calls I got today?"
I was sweaty and shirtless from deep cleaning the house. I had four days to leave the place cleaner than when I arrived. "Do you know how many times I got rubbernecked and pulled over?"
"I don't know about the rubbernecking but I did hear you got pulled over."
"Of course. They probably called you first? Did you tell them it was stolen?" I glared at Penn who smiled. "Your truck attracts too much attention. I don't like it."
