I cannot say that Hawaii was the most fun I've had on a vacation. Staying in a house with twenty-five people, most of whom you don't know that well is no easy task. Pair that with attempting to mend a fractured and bruised relationship and a family quarrel. But—and it's a big but—I got the guy.
But being back in Oregon was a whirlwind. I was meeting with Wayne and others several times a week to discuss logistics for a job that was being built for me. Wayne had called me the morning we were leaving Hawaii, as I was packing my bags, to tell me they were ready to officially offer me a job. I had Penn and now I had a job with the company I loved.
When I wasn't working on the details of my soon-to-be job that wasn't slotted to start until the first of November, I was working at Costco, the one that had sustained me during the craziest year of my life. Costco had helped me gain a newfound independence and build relationships that were so different from anything I ever had in Lincoln.
I was the same person in many ways but also very different.
Life felt kind of crazy and busy and full of blooming life. When I was married to Lee my life was the same except completely different. With Lee, everything was fun but slightly chaotic. I wouldn't describe it as bad but only because I didn't know better. I had no idea how unhealthy some of the patterns were.
The key difference between then and now is Penn. No matter how crazy things seemed, how frazzled I was after a day of planning with the regional board regarding my new role, how busy I'd been working in the warehouse or running the checkout stand—seeing Penn was like issuing a cease and desist on the crazy and chaotic. When he knocked on my door or I on his, and he looked at me the way only he could, everything stopped and only he existed. It sounds sappy but it's the way it was.
Lee and I spent a lot of time together but we also spent a lot of time apart. It was something that worked for us. I never had the desire for something different but with Penn, I couldn't imagine planning things that didn't include him. Suddenly, solo vacations and weekends away were like indie low budget horror films. Every chance I got found me heading south on I5 just to wake up and head north on I5 the next morning.
I was exactly one month away from my November first start date and I was secretly terrified that I might be making a mistake. The new role was everything I ever wanted; traveling, diversity, planning, critical thinking, and training but it also meant being away from home a lot. Home right now was still Joe's spare room but it wasn't going to stay that way forever.
It had been a long week and I had finagled three days off as a surprise for Penn. It wasn't a long weekend, that wasn't how retail worked, but I knew Penn would appreciate it regardless of what days of the week it was. I pulled up to the house around nine. I didn't tell him I was coming because unlike my crazy, nonstop life, Penn was as predictable as rain in January.
He must've seen me through the security monitor in the kitchen because I didn't get a chance to say hey, hi, hello or even get a good look at my foxy boyfriend before he was on me—kissing me and dragging me into the house to have his way with me. For the record, I didn't put up a fight. I was a willing victim if there was such a thing.
Penn hefted me over his shoulder. "I was wondering when you were going to stop by," he said as we headed toward the stairs. I laughed at how playful he'd gotten. He was more relaxed around me than he'd ever been and I couldn't get enough of it. Plus, the view was top notch...or bottom notch if you want to be technical. Penn wore an old pair of sweatpants that had lost their softness a decade ago but made his ass look bangable.
As he ascended the stairs, I slipped my finger down his pants and between those thick globes I couldn't get enough of. He faltered when I pressed against his entrance but quickly recovered, taking the rest of the stairs two at a time. Quite the feat considering he was carrying an extra buck-seventy.
He went straight to his room and tossed me on the bed then disrobed. Sometimes there really was no 'romance' between us. Instead, there was a comfort that meant we could forgo any pretenses. And we were only two months into this thing. The more time I spent with Penn, the more I saw what I was missing with Lee. The guy always wanted things to be sensual between us. To the point, it felt forced.
With Penn, I learned sensuality has so many different levels. It's more a mindset than anything else. This is why Penn broke the sensual meter even as he casually stripped me of my clothes like it was just another Tuesday, which it was, and he was trying to get laundry done. Then he crawled on the bed, spread my legs to his satisfaction, then reached to the nightstand to get what he needed.
He turned the box of condoms upside down and a strip of three fell out. "This is all that's left," he said as he took one off and tossed the others back in the box, returned it to the nightstand, and grabbed the lube. "Can you get more from work?"
"Sure, anything else?" I asked, amused at the whole thing.
He thought about it as he tore the wrapper then grabbed the bottle and opened the cap. He didn't take the condom out, he was just getting it ready for later. He hated trying to open it after getting lube on his hands. "I'm low on those chocolate covered macadamia nuts."
I shifted up on one elbow and laughed. "Is this a turn on to you?" I asked.
Penn tilted his head in confusion as he put lube on his hands. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're talking about a shopping list and macadamia nuts."
He looked at me like I was the strange one. "Yeah, because we need condoms and then you asked if I needed anything."
"I was joking," I laughed. "You're just going about everything like you're getting ready for surgery. I was just curious if this was doing it for you."
Penn looked down at his erection, which was not waning or in need of simulation, and smiled. "I haven't seen you in a week and now you're here, laid out in front of me. Yeah, this is doing it for me."
"Okay, I was just checking."
Penn eyed me, "Is this not doing it for you?"
I looked at my erection, which was also not waning or in need of any attention. "Oh yeah," I smirked. "I'm doing ok."
"It was the shopping list that got you going, don't lie," he smiled slyly then reached down and smeared the lube along my ass before slowly pressing his finger in me.
I groaned, and had to take a breath, but continued on. "Kind of, yeah. It's you and how easy it is between us. I love that. I love that I haven't done anything yet you're that hard for me."
Penn leaned forward and kissed me. "You're in my brain and now you're in my bed. That's enough for me."
When he was done kissing me, he'd already managed three fingers which he quickly replaced with his condom wrapped cock.
"Fine," I moaned. "I'll buy you more macadamia nuts."
This time Penn laughed and that damn smile, and everything it represented, sent a charge through me. It was the weirdest feeling, like soda exploding in your mouth until you couldn't hold it in and it came out your nose. It's a terrible analogy and he'd be offended if I ever said aloud, except it wasn't all that far off.
He was staring at me, those dark brown eyes as light as I'd ever seen them. He loved me. It was written on his face and in his actions and the way he reacted when he saw me. And the way he was so comfortable that he could talk about buying condoms and macadamia nuts when he was getting ready to fuck my brains out. I hoped he saw it in me too. The way I looked at him and, in my actions, and the way I reacted when I saw him.
Penn pushed all the way in then kissed me, then pulled out, and started doing what he did so well. I don't think either of us was looking for a marathon. He edged both of us long enough that by the time I finally came, it was so intense I was scared to get hard again. We did a quick clean up then tangled up in each other until I wasn't sure where he started and I ended.
"I'm glad you came," he said.
"I'm glad you made me cum."
Penn smiled into my neck which made me smile and my stomach flutter. "That's not what I meant and you know it."
"I couldn't be away for one more day," I told him in all honesty. "I never had an issue being away from Lee. Even in the beginning when I was still in high school and he was off at college. I missed him but life went on. It's not like that with you. Life stops and it doesn't go on until I see you again."
Penn squeezed me tighter. He was silent as he savored the words. When he responded, it was a simple 'same'. It was softly spoken but packed with truth. We stayed up for a bit longer but neither of us spoke. It was just nice to be. And sometimes touch and proximity were more important than anything else.
****
Penn was on the other side of the bed when I woke. I quietly snuck out of bed, pulled on his sweatpants and t-shirt, then softly padded my way downstairs to the kitchen. I had a million songs on my phone from my Yevo days. A lot of them I enjoyed because they were fun, upbeat, and packed a lot of great memories. I plugged the phone into the speaker that was on the kitchen counter. I'm not sure Penn ever used it but I got enough mileage for the both of us.
I was cooking breakfast and grooving to Wobble when Penn came in. He came up behind me and kissed my cheek then tried to slide past me to safety. I grabbed him and started dancing against him.
"It's too early for this," he said, his voice thick with sleep. I didn't miss the way he complained but didn't try to stop me.
