Tis the Season

Jem put another pill in his mouth and swallowed it back with neat Scotch. He hated the drink but it had been Andy's favourite and somehow that seemed appropriate. It was not as though he was meant to enjoy this. A shaky hand picked up their wedding photograph. It showed a lithe blond, almost glowing with joy, smiling incandescently at the camera and at his side a taller brunette with a goatee wearing a similar smile.

"We only had six months married, Angel," he slurred. "It should have been the happiest time of our lives next to the wedding. Livvy's baby will never know her uncle Andy. Or her uncle Jem," he added, popping another pill and taking another bitter mouthful. He stared tearfully at the ancient Angel that adorned the Christmas tree whose lights were as dull as Jem's eyes. She was part of his past. He could not remember a time when she did not take pride of place on the tree both as a child and as an adult. Although they had talked about needing to get her cleaned and tidied, somehow they never got round to it. Her face was as faded as her less-than-white dress and wings. "I was angry he went, Angel. We parted with harsh words. I hope he knew how much I loved him, really loved him. I hope he forgives me too, Angel, but I know I don't want to go on without him. He was the other half of my soul and I can't face life without him."

Both bottles were now empty: sleeping pills and Scotch. Jem picked up the wedding picture. He would not leave a note. Andy's sister Livvy and her husband were their only living relatives and she would understand that Jem had chosen to join his husband rather than live without him. He gazed with blurred vision at the room. They had decorated it together, excited at the prospect of their first Christmas as a married couple and at the impending birth of Andy's first nephew or niece. The mantle was clothed in greenery and dotted around the house were bunches of holly and mistletoe. The tree had pride of place in the living room, to the side of the fireplace. All the gifts had been placed around it. They had intended to sit under it and open the presents sipping eggnog. Each and every dream had been shattered in the motorcycle crash that had claimed Andy's life on the evening of Christmas Eve. Although it had only been a day, Jem felt empty, bereft. He had lost his reason for living.

He staggered slowly to the bedroom. Tears fell silently. Had it really been just over a day since he and Andy had made love in this room? He caught a glimpse of himself in the dresser mirror. He bore no resemblance to the blond in the picture he carried. His hair was unkempt and he had almost two day's stubble on his cheeks and chin. His eyes were bloodshot and shadowed. He looked every bit as bad as he felt. He rummaged in a drawer and found Andy's favourite sweatshirt and dropped onto the bed. He curled around the picture and shirt, glad he could still smell his lover's distinctive scent. He had no reason to resist the insidious pull of sleep. The faster he gave in, the faster this would all be over.

****

An insistent knocking had a bleary-eyed Jem awakening. He blinked, but the sound continued, seemingly echoing throughout the house. In a daze he staggered down the stairs and to the front door. Opening it, he stepped back with a gasp.

Andy stood there, his face showing a mixture of concern and confusion.

"Hey, babe," came the familiar greeting. "I must've forgot my keys, but I can't think what I was outside for. You look way tired. Were you asleep? Sorry I disturbed you. Man I feel like I could sleep for a week."

"Andy," Jem husked. He enveloped the bigger man in a tight embrace. He realised it must be a dream; a final fantasy by his dying brain, but he did not care. He pulled his husband up to their bedroom and together they stripped.

"What's with the photo and shirt, babe?" Andy asked as they got into bed.

"Doesn't matter, lover," Jem said, snuggling in the other man's embrace. "Hold me, Andy, don't let me go."

"I won't, babe. Man I am so tired. Sorry but I gotta sleep."

Jem did not care in the least. Believing himself in a dream, burrowed against the man he loved, Jem let the darkness claim him once more.

****

Jem groaned softly as he woke. His mouth tasted sour and for a moment he was disorientated. Then reality set in. He was awake. He was alive. But before he could think anything else, a bigger body was covering his and he was being soundly kissed.

"Morning, babe," Andy grinned at him.

"Andy?" Jem whispered.

"What's the matter, babe? You look like you've seen a ghost," Andy laughed.

Jem shook his head. What could he say? He *was* looking at a ghost ... wasn't he? He reached to touch Andy's beloved face. The other man felt warm and alive.

"You were in a crash," Jem husked. "You died. On Christmas Eve. I couldn't live without you. I took ... I took pills ..."

"Hey, hey, hey," Andy said, hugging his sobbing husband. "It was a dream, love. A really, really bad dream, but I'm here and alive."

"But it was so real," Jem croaked.

Andy waited until his lover was more composed and turned the tear-streaked face to his and kissed Jem tenderly, lovingly.

"I'm alive, babe. It's Christmas Eve today and we're going to have our first married Christmas. Let's get up and I can prove it was all just a bad dream."

Jem let himself be taken downstairs. He gaped at the living room. The tree with its Angel stood by the fire, lights twinkling merrily. Their wedding photo was still on their coffee table and there were no empty bottles.

"A dream?" he asked dazedly. "But you got a call to say Livvy had given birth to a baby girl. You insisted on going out on the cycle, even though the weather was bad. A driver jumped the lights."

"A nightmare, babe," Andy said, halting Jem. "A pretty realistic one, but a nightmare none-the-less. I'll prove just how alive and kicking I am," he added in the low husky rasp that never failed to have Jem igniting with desire.

Andy's mouth moved over his lover's, nibbling and licking in just the way he knew would drive Jem wild with desire. He manoeuvred their bodies towards the tree. There was a nice soft sheepskin rug with their names on it for just this kind of occasion. Slowly they knelt, still kissing, their hands stroking over slowly heating skin. Andy pressed Jem onto his back and straddled the beautiful blond. For a moment, warm sienna eyes locked with passionate turquoise and then Andy's mouth was on a small, pink nipple. He relished the way the furled flesh hardened, nipping gently to soft sounds of delight and encouragement. He treated its neglected twin to the same level of attention, smiling at his now writhing lover.

Jem watched as Andy laved open-mouthed kisses over his smooth chest, pausing occasionally to lick at his areolae or suck on his nipples. He moaned encouragingly as Andy moved lower, nibbling across his ribs and then lower again to tantalise his navel. Jem's hips had a life of their own, lifting and lowering, causing his arousal to roll back and forth over his toned abdomen. He saw Andy's eyes light up at the sight of the silvery trails just above his modest nest of blond curls. He made soft pleasured sounds as his mate licked away the pre-come and then lower to bathe his aching sac.

Andy purred his pleasure as he took one precious orb into his mouth and rolled it slowly. He did the same with the other before kissing his way up Jem's arousal to lick and suck slowly at the red, glistening head. As his mouth worked his lover's penis, he slid a hand to the lube hidden under the rug and liberally coated a couple of fingers. He was surprised at how dry and tight his lover was. They had made love only the night before and he expected Jem to still be slick. However, the thought quickly evaporated as he became immersed in loving his husband. He sucked eagerly, alternating between laving particular attention on the sensitive vein on the underside, just below the head and deep-throating the hot flesh and humming. He quickly had three fingers plunging in and out of Jem's body, caressing his hidden jewel repeatedly. Both actions got the desired effect .The blond cried out his pleasure over and over as Andy worked him expertly.

Jem teetered on the brink of climax time after time. Andy was enjoying himself immensely. Hands and mouth, fingers and tongue; he kept taking Jem to the edge of the abyss then stopping, just so he could start all over again. By the time he began the fourth round Jem was incoherent and writhing with need; reduced to chanting single syllables, body capable of nothing beyond his helpless responses to Andy's touches. Right where Andy wanted him; where he loved to see him. He licked at Jem's lips, thrust his tongue into his lover's mouth and then began to murmur hotly into his lover's ear while fingering the lightly-furred sac with its rock-hard orbs and the sweat-slick perineum.

"Love you, babe. Love you so much." Andy moved to pull Jem's legs around his waist and pushed inside his lover, growling with appreciation at the way the silken sheath rippled erotically as it massaged the length of his long, hard shaft. He set up a rhythm of long slow thrusts. He was always enthralled by the way Jem shuddered beneath him, the way his lover's channel encircled his shaft in slick, hot satin; the way Jem's hands felt clutching his ass, fingers almost biting into his skin, especially so this time, as he was welcomed; encouraged, needed, wanted. Loved

"Love you, love you," Jem moaned. He surprised himself he was able to speak, but he needed Andy to know how much he was loved. He would never, ever again take it for granted Andy knew. He would make sure he always told him.

His prostate was being hammered with each deep thrust of his lover. He clung tightly to Andy, afraid if he let him go he would vanish. Then coherent though vanished. Andy pounded hard and fast, a knowledgeable hand pulling on Jem's swollen flesh until with a simultaneous cry of each other's name, both men came. Jem relished the feel of hot come inside him, the warm wetness seeming to banish the last of the cold dread. Andy was here and alive and anything else was just a very bad dream. He smiled lovingly at the flush-faced brunette grinning smugly above him.

"I love you," Jem said again, his tone serious.

"I love you too, babe. Always." Andy tucked damp, wayward blond hair away from Jem's forehead and bent down to claim another kiss from red and swollen lips. "I love you, too."

****

The rest of the day passed in a flurry of activity. Jem cooked the turkey. Andy prepared vegetables. They laughed and joked, kissed and caressed. Occasionally Jem felt as though something said or done was familiar, but Andy shrugged it off as déjà vu. However, Jem found himself becoming tense as evening came round. He could not explain it, but the cold dread had returned. He just needed the time of the fateful call from his nightmare to pass and he knew he would be fine. The weather had deteriorated badly, just like in his dream. In addition to the snow and ice already on the roads, sleet was falling.

The glass he held in his hand fell from suddenly nerveless fingers to shatter on the kitchen floor as, on the dot of eight fifteen, the telephone rang. He stood staring, shaking, waiting for Andy to come through and insist on going to the hospital. Instead a stunned Andy came through. Jem raced into his husband's shaky embrace.

"When I picked up the phone, David said Livvy had given birth to a baby girl." he whispered. "It was a though I could hear myself having a conversation with David. I was taking no notice of him. He was saying Livvy was tired and that he would come and get us tomorrow. I insisted I could ride the cycle. I was saying the weather wasn't bad." Andy gave a shaky laugh. "Then I remembered your dream and suddenly David was laughing and asking if I was still there. I told him ... I told him ... we'd love for him to pick us up tomorrow. But I know that if it hadn't been for your dream, I would've insisted on going. It's like I've been given a second chance, babe."

"Make love to me," Jem begged huskily. "Right here, right now."

He tugged Andy, unresistingly, to the tree and the rug beneath it. Slowly, reverently, treating each other as the precious gifts they were, the two men undressed each other. For a moment they stood, drinking in the sight of each other's naked bodies, their hands reached to caress; one carding gently through soft chest fur, the other stroking a smooth hairless torso. Lips followed hands, kisses bestowed lovingly as they slowly sank into the plush of the deep, chocolate brown sheepskin.

They manoeuvred each to take the other's erections into their mouths, neither man hurrying the pace. They licked and sucked, kissed and caressed taking pleasure in bestowing pleasure until they each knew it was time to take the next step. Andy slid a hand to retrieve the lube as his husband continued to lave at his shaft. Each touch of lips and tongue felt like a benediction. He took Jem back into his mouth and reached between the satiny globes to find the tiny entrance he sought. He pressed one finger inside and felt the soft hum of pleasure vibrate around his shaft. Soon he had three buried deep in his husband and Jem had finally had to release his prize.

Andy smiled at the soft whine of distress as the two men had to part, but the way Jem's eyes shone with love made Andy's eyes mist.

"I love you, babe," he whispered, bending to kiss his husband. "I love you so very much."

"Love you, Andy," the blond said, his voice thick with emotion. "Want you in me, please, Andy."

"Shh, it's ok, love," Andy promised. He continued to suck Jem slowly as his fingers delved deep into tight heat. He stroked over Jem's sweet spot to soft cries of delight and pleasure. As soon as he was certain Jem was thoroughly prepared, Andy encouraged his lover to wrap his legs around his waist and lined himself up with the prepared portal.

"Love you, Andy" Jem whispered as his husband pushed inside. He mewled softly as his husband filled his body to love him physically. The bigger man slid inside Jem's welcoming heat in long, smooth, deep strokes. Jem moved in concert with him, hitching his hips to match his lover.

"Love you," the older man groaned. He leant down, kissing and nipping lovingly at Jem's throat and collarbone. Their lips met and Andy's hand burrowed between their bodies to stroke Jem's eager flesh. It was too good to last long. Jem's hands clutched at Andy's back as he moved faster, harder, striking Jem's prostate unerringly to cry after cry of his name.

Both men climaxed simultaneously, Jem pulsing between their sweat-sheened bodies and Andy filling his husband with his seed. For long moments afterwards, they lay beneath the tree, kissing, touching and renewing their promises of love and devotion. Finally they rose and slowly, hand-in-hand, they went upstairs.

The sounds from the bedroom soon became those of slumber and the house was still and quiet. At that moment, unseen by human eyes, the face of the Christmas Angel took on a beatific smile. A golden glow arose from her to enter the couple's bedroom and envelope the oblivious lovers who lay entwined together. As it did, unheard by mortal ears, was the single chime as from a pure, silver bell. Then light and sound vanished as unnoticed as they had come.

At the top of her tree, the Angel still smiled. Because sometimes, at Christmas, 'tis the season ... for a miracle.