Disclaimer: All characters depicted are 18 years of age or older.
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Chapter 4: Last Dance
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"Andre, please don't do this," Joel said. They were sitting in Andre's car, parked outside Joel's house. The sunset loomed on the horizon.
"I...I'm sorry..." Andre said, quietly, staring down at his lap.
"If there's a time for you to come out, it's now. People are already talking. I've been saying, you won't be bullied like me. No one will dare to mess with a teacher's kid. You're less flamboyant than me, anyway," Joel reached over to grab Andre's hand, "and we can actually be boyfriends. In public. Don't you want that? To be able to walk around school with each other?"
Andre squeezed Joel's fingers. "It's not like that, Joel...I'm just not...My parents are gonna flip and who knows what they'll do," Andre said. "I just can't take that risk."
Joel felt the tears collecting beneath his eyes. He put a hand on Andre's cheek. "Andre, look at me. Look at me."
With a sigh, Andre turned his face towards him, and as soon as Joel saw how much pain there was in those beautiful dark brown eyes of Andre's, the tears took shape. Drops after drops began to roll down Joel's cheeks.
"I love you," Joel sniffled. "I don't want us to end."
Andre bit his lips. "I don't want that, either."
"Then just come out and stay with me. Who cares what other people think? We'll be so happy and--"
"Joel..."
"--we'll go to prom together and we'll dance--"
"Joel, I can't..."
"--and we can kiss in front of the whole school--"
"God fucking damnit Joel, listen!" Andre roared and pushed Joel's hand away. "How many times have we talked about this? Not everyone has parents who are okay with their son being gay like you, okay? Not everyone can be brave like you and show off how fucking gay they are to everyone. I just...I have a life ahead of me, okay? I need my parents to pay for college and...and...I need things to be on track."
Joel blinked. Andre pulled his gaze back down to his lap.
"That's interesting," Joel said, his voice hoarse. "Because if you really cared about your life being on track, whatever the fuck that means, then you shouldn't have gone out with me in the first place. You kissed me, remember? I told you I liked you and you kissed me. You could have pushed me away but you didn't. And you could have broken up with me at any point in the last three months, but you didn't. Because I know you love me, Andre. I love you and you love me, too, right?"
Andre was silent for what felt like an eternity, before he turned to look at Joel with an edge in his eyes that made Joel's body grow cold.
"Maybe I don't love you enough."
Joel felt his heart tighten, like a balloon being squeezed with such force that it threatened to pop, its delicate skin on the brink of giving in to the aching, pressing air. He took a deep breath.
"I can't believe I fell in love with a coward like you," Joel said. He could see a twitch in Andre's face, but he didn't care. He opened the door and got out, before shutting with a slam.
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Joel stood in front of the metal door. He could hear himself breathing.
"Hey," Andre said. "You okay?"
Joel threw a sideways glance at Andre, making sure not to look directly into his eyes. Yet, he could still feel the warmth in Andre's tone. "No," Joel said. "I'm not. But we're gonna do what we have to."
"Maybe we should talk things out before we head inside?"
"I'm good. We talked plenty when Kenji and Chuck were in their room, so," Joel said, even though he knew this was bullshit. All they had talked about was what they did after graduation -- Joel went to college for music education and Andre for computer science, what they were doing now -- Joel taught at an elementary school in Houston while Andre wrote codes for a tech startup in Silicon Valley, and a million other topics of small talk that did not involve hashing out their relationship.
"We didn't really get to talk about--" Andre said, but Joel went ahead and promptly pushed the door in, slithering into the darkness as soon as he could. He heard a sigh, then footsteps followed behind him.
The lights came on, and both of them gasped. Joel's eyes went wide and his mouth hung open. Even when the door closed with a loud slam, Joel wasn't spooked, too awestruck by the vast space and the glittering decorations in front of him.
"How the fuck--" Joel muttered, taking in the spectacle in front of them. They were standing in their school's gymnasium, with its full-size basketball court and the blue and white bleachers on opposing sides, but not the gymnasium on an ordinary day. This was prom, and Joel knew this because the space looked pretty much exactly like he remembered. Swaths of fabric in eggshell white and baby blue hung across the ceiling and draped down onto the floor. Balloons tied together with shiny streamers lined the railings of the bleachers. Strips of LED lights that ran parallel to the drapes cast their soft orange glow on the gleaming floor, while rotating stage lights scattered around the gymnasium flashed their bright, bluish circles around the room. Across the room from where they were standing, a stage had been put up with giant speakers on each side, a DJ table, and a microphone in the center. Still, there was no actual DJ, no music, no crowd of students laughing and dancing.
"What kind of...how is there so much space? How did they even build this?" Andre said, slowly inching forward.
"Don't ask me," Joel said, his eyes scanning the room. He realized that right next to him was a white backdrop with silver balloons that spelled out "Fairview High Class of 2012," similar to the one that seniors used to take pictures. Joel remembered posing in front of it with his friends from theatre. Then he remembered how he'd hoped to get a shot of him kissing Andre in front of it.
"This is senior year prom," Andre said, snapping Joel back from his thoughts.
