Part of the 'Butt Monkey' series of stories by Robert Furlong
===
"We were on a hiking trip up in the Pennines," Troy began quietly after the waitress had taken our order. The coffee shop, which was hidden away among a few takeaways and convenience stores across the road from the college, was deserted in spite of the time of day.
He asked, "I don't suppose you've been camping up there, have you?"
I shook my head, more interested in why the waitress was faffing around with the till instead of pouring our drinks. I'd been gagging for a coffee since before I'd been pulled out of Matt Strickson's godawful presentation.
"It's spectacular," the teacher went on. "An ideal place to take a beginner's group under normal circumstances. Unfortunately, these weren't normal circumstances."
I turned towards him. "How do you mean?"
"It was February half term and the weather caught us out. The forecast had been for light snow and so we'd headed out over open country, two of us instructors and a group of lads -- very remote and exposed. What we didn't know was that a storm had changed course unexpectedly and by late-afternoon we had to put the tents up as best we could in blizzards and battering winds.
"It was impossible to get our bearings and would have been extremely unwise to have tried to move away from our spot, so we just dug in and held on tight, waiting for the storm to subside. For three days and nights, the weather was ferocious and we were stuck fast -- even our mobiles couldn't get a signal the snow was so heavy.
"It was on one of those nights -- very late, long after the lads had turned in -- that it happened."
I nodded before turning again to see what the waitress was up to. She seemed to be trying to change the till roll. We were her only customers and that was her priority, was it? Changing the till roll; completely ignoring the pot of coffee sitting on the machine waiting to be poured.
"I'd hiked with Justin many times -- we were pretty good mates. We weren't too worried about what to do -- we knew the drill inside out. We had enough gas and we knew the storm would blow itself out long before the food ran out. The trouble was that we were bored as hell being stuck together for so long with only the wind howling round our tents and the empty, disorientating whiteness beyond.
"He and I had played around a bit together before that trip. It's not uncommon for guys to couple up from time to time when they're sleeping together in such close confines each night. Did you know that?"
I shook my head. "No. No, I didn't, actually."
She was making a complete pig's ear of changing the till roll. Now she was hunting around under the desk for something -- probably the instruction manual for the till. The coffee was just sitting there, stewing.
"Well, it's not like it's widespread or anything. But at the same time, it's not unusual. It's certainly not something that gets spoken about -- it's usually, at most, just a discreet fondling of each other's hard-ons under the cover of the sleeping bags after lights out."
I nodded, appreciating his openness. He obviously felt that, since I'd described my own intimate experience with Guy so frankly to him, he was able to speak to me with the same familiarity.
"I've never really thought about it," I admitted, "but I suppose it's not unexpected. I mean, the two of you have the same needs, and it would get pretty frustrating on long trips otherwise."
He smiled. "Exactly."
Then he looked around, "Where the hell is that coffee?"
"I think she was punching our order into the till and managed to break it." Now she had the back off it and was poking around in its electronic innards as if she had the slightest idea of what she was doing.
"Excuse me!" he called over to her. "Do you think we could have our coffee?"
She looked over at us and giggled. "Ooh, I'd forgotten all about that!"
She grabbed two cups from the shelf and proceeded to fill them. I was pleased that Troy was more forthright in such situations than me. I was so polite we would still have been sitting waiting come closing time.
He turned back to me, lowering the volume of his voice to prevent her from overhearing him. "Well, Justin and I had fooled around a bit together like that for a few years. Mainly just jacking each other off when we both felt horny."
I nodded, seeing for the first time something appealing about camping.
"How does that work?" I asked. "I mean, how do you let each other know that you want to... well... 'fool around a bit', as you put it?"
"Guys need to masturbate," he shrugged. "No matter who you're hiking with, some nights you're gonna hear your mate's hand thumping against his sleeping bag or feel the rhythm of him next to you when you're trying to get to sleep. Some men try to be discreet about it; others just lie there and whack themselves off without making any bones about what they're doing.
"It's pretty much bound to happen when you're with another bloke day and night. Sometimes you'll see each other taking a dump; at others you'll hear each other tossing off. It's not pleasant, but it's going to happen."
"I get that," I cut in. "I just don't get how you end up rubbing each other."
It seemed to me quite a big leap from overhearing each other jerking off privately to unzipping both your sleeping bags and pumping away at each other's erections like a couple of horny adolescents.
"Well, it just kind of happens. In Justin's case, he was very upfront about his need for regular release. He needed to masturbate pretty much every night -- no matter what circumstances we were in and how precarious things might be. We could be perched halfway up a cliff in the middle of a hurricane and Justin would end the day with a wank! I guess he had a high sex drive and, when he was away from his missus, beating himself off was his only way of controlling it."
I chuckled. "I can relate to that."
"Obviously I needed relief too from time to time," he went on, "so some nights I'd join him. It wasn't like it was prearranged or anything -- neither of us said a word about it... in my experience, guys never do. But some nights, while his fist was making little thud-thud noises under his sleeping bag, I'd join in. And we'd lie there doing it together, faster and faster, until we both came... gasping... one after the other."
Yeah, I thought. I kind of know how it works.