Hello my beautiful readers!
I just want to apologize for taking so long to update this story! Unfortunately my beta reader (who was also a close friend) died of complications due to Covid recently and I've really been struggling to write. I sincerely appreciate all the comments of support I received for last chapter and believe me, you all are the reason this new chapter was even able to be written. So thank you so much for the continued love and support! I really hope you all enjoy this chapter and will go easy on me with updates during this time and I'm sorry if I missed anything in editing! I will do my best to upload at least one more chapter by Christmas. I will not abandon this story, so please don't worry. I'm just struggling is all. Thank you so much for reading!
Much love! Xx
Fae's Pov:
The rest of the weekend had started out wonderful, at least for me. The alpha and I had showered together, eaten several meals together, he even taught me to how to play a board game called chess, and we had sex several times, although, not as many times as I'd expected an alpha with little experience to have. However, my favorite time of day was, by far, sleeping next to Cain's wolf. Unfortunately, it didn't exactly last that long.
The first night, he'd been awkward about it and decided to shift without telling me. One moment he was in the bathroom, the next he was padding out into the bedroom. His wolf was a bit small for an alpha but I still thought he looked as strong and as fierce as any warrior. His black coat was shiny and beautiful but his eyes were blue and cold and I shivered beneath their intense study. However, this did not mean that his wolf was cruel. On the contrary, his wolf seemed very happy to be around me, which I adored, for I'd never had an enjoyable experience around anyone's wolf before, let alone an alpha.
The wolf playfully used its weight to push me around, before forcing me to flop down on the bed, so that I was seated. At first I was scared, when the large paws touched my chest and the wolf lifted his torso on his hind legs so that he could look into my eyes, but then I experienced something unexpected. As our gaze held, it felt almost as if I'd left my body and, without shifting, I could feel my wolf staring back at our alpha, through my own eyes. I knew Cain felt it too, for he'd stopped wagging his tail and instead had gone very still, watching me with a look that went beyond study and curiosity.
I felt as if he were somehow reading my soul and, though I was tempted to push him away, I stayed just as still as he did. If I really was to give Cain everything, then that included being looked at in a way that made my soul feel exposed. The connection lasted for several minutes but the alpha eventually broke it with a playful lick to my cheek, allowing me to breath again. He then bounded up into the bed, taking up most of it, leaving me to curl myself into a small ball with the rest of the space available to me.
I tried to keep my distance at first. Really I did. I even made sure Cain's wolf had as much space as I could allow without falling off the bed myself but after a few minutes, the wolf whined at me, sounding very put out. I wasn't sure what he wanted, so I tentatively reached over and twisted my fingers into his fur. Cain's wolf hummed happily and I smiled, whispering goodnight to my alpha before finally closing my eyes. Sometime during the night, I ended up having another nightmare but I woke before it ended to the feeling of Cain's wolf burrowing his nose against my chest, and poking at my arms, until I turned towards him and snuggled against his back. After that I did not wake up again until morning, for I had no other nightmares.
The next night, I decided to join him and shifted into my skeletal, dingy wolf form in Cain's tiny bathroom. Luckily, I wasn't that big of a wolf, actually I was smaller than most omega's, and I was able to hop up and onto the sink so that I could look at my wolf in a mirror for the first time. I whined at his reflection, feeling repulsed by how matted and dull my fur looked, not at all like the lovely white coat Ms. Luna claimed I would have. I could see my bones through my thin coat and my eyes looked exhausted but hopeful as I caught a wiff of Cain's scent.
As shocked as I was that I could actually scent him, I was more concerned over what his wolf would think of me. Would his beast decide that I was worthy of him, would he claim me as pack? Or would my wolf turn him off forever? My thoughts were scattered when the object of my affection entered the bathroom without warning.
"I'm guessing you haven't seen your wolf before?" Cain asked as he stopped behind me, letting his rough palm gently pat my head.
I shook my head no, tongue hanging out in pleasure, as Cain began to scratch behind my ears.
"I wish I could fix your coat for you," he murmured and I caught the alpha's sad expression in the reflection of the mirror. "Unfortunately, Frank would probably hurt you over it." Anger painted Cain's features but he continued his gentle touches.
I nodded in agreement and watched as Cain's face grew ever angrier but instead of a rant, he simply said, "Go on to bed pup. I'll be there soon."
I obeyed instantly and the moment I was back in his room, I hopped onto the bed and circled my space before finally settling down. Seconds later, Cain's wolf trotted through the bedroom door and I stilled, barring my neck, hoping to be accepted by the alpha. The dark wolf gazed into my eyes and I was hit with another out of body experience, feeling as if my human form were present in that moment, kneeling before Cain and I whined longingly, crying to be accepted as part of the alpha's pack. However, Cain's wolf backed away from my display, causing my wolf to howl in pain.
Suddenly, Cain shifted back to human form and gathered my wolf into his arms. He gently caressed my back as I shuddered and whined, while waves of rejection rolled over me. I knew my wolf had put too much hope into Cain accepting him, despite never receiving the mating bite. But now he had seen for himself, Alpha would never wanted us forever, in any way. My wolf and I only had now and while that was good, we both knew it would kill us later to be separated from him.
"Oh Fae," Cain muttered sadly, probably scenting my hurt, "I'm so sorry. I should have known better than to shift with you... I know how a wolf without a pack craves that acceptance from an alpha, any alpha. Trust me, I understand, I am, a rogue, after all." When I did not acknowledge his words he continued, "I hate that everything I do reads as rejection! If I could afford to buy you and help set you up so that you could have your own life, I would. You deserve freedom. Frank shouldn't own you, no one should. You deserve to find a real mate and I'm so sorry that I keep hurting you and that I can't do anything more."
I shuddered silently, listening to his pity and hating it.
He was an alpha, my wolf thought. Cain wasn't helpless. He had the power to save us if he really wanted to!
But... he wants to be single. I reminded my wolf.
The only way Cain could help is if he were my mate, which he obviously wasn't. For even I knew it was near impossible for an alpha to refuse his true mate and Cain had refused me easily, time and time again.
My stomach clenched tightly, taking this new level of rejection personally and before I knew it, my wolf vomited on Cain's bed. I instantly shifted back, though it hurt to do so, mortified but unable to do anything to clean up my mess as another wave of nausea hit me.
"Bathroom," I pleaded, before hunching over to further destroy the alpha's sheet's with my sick.
Once I'd finished that round, Cain carefully picked me up and brought me to the toilet, holding my hair back as I emptied the contents of my stomach.
"Are you ill?" Cain asked me, once I'd gone silent, concern clear in his voice.
