Truth or Dare

TW: SA mentioned in this chapter, though it is not talked about in detail. Just a warning for my fellow SA survivors!

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**Tobias**

I woke up earlier than I wanted to on Thanksgiving day, but that was fine because I needed to get a shower and I wanted to contact Jamie. She had stayed at the house, and had sent a message apologizing for her parents and saying she would talk to them but that she would leave us be for the night so we could talk and spend time together.

I had spent the last seven years not speaking to anyone in my family after someone who was interested in me, someone I had no interest in, forced me out of the closet. I didn't want that for Jax if it was something he could avoid. His parents had moments of being really cold, but I think it was having grown up in such a restrictive church that had done it. I know he loved his family though.

I sent a message off to Jamie to see if things had calmed down, and asked her if she thought we should still show up today. She likely wouldn't answer now but at least the question was out there for when she was.

About an hour or so later, Jax got out of bed and got into the shower, and my phone pinged as I was drinking coffee.

Jamie: I spent the entire night telling my parents off, and speaking with them about stories about gay and bisexual children who get ostrasized from their families. So please come to dinner, but maybe a little early so you four can talk. I'll mediate.

Me: Thanks, Jamie. You're the best.

Jamie: I know. So long as I'm a maid of honor at the wedding, we'll be even.

I chuckled at that and then put my phone down, waiting for Jax to come out. He came out in his towel, his short hair still dripping water as he looked at me with his crooked smile. I knew what he was trying to initiate, but I held up a hand to stop him before it went much further right now.

"We need to get dressed," I said to him, and he immediately frowned. "I'd like to get to your parents early so we can all talk, if that's alright."

"Tobias," he sighed, pulling the towel up to start drying his hair. "I think they said everything they needed to last night, didn't they?"

"Jamie has been lecturing them all night, so maybe not," I replied. "Just give it one more chance. If they fuck it up again, then you can walk away and never speak to them again. We're already here, though, and so we might as well go to dinner and try once more."

Jax frowned at me, obviously annoyed but then he nodded once and got up. I watched as he got clothes that were suitable for going to his parents' out and started getting dressed. All I had to do was throw a nicer shirt on, and then we were driving to his parents' house in silence.

Jamie came out to meet us once we got there, and the three of us went inside. We could smell the turkey cooking, and we found his mom in the kitchen trying to get all of the sides ready to go. She made a motion for us to wait, and so Jax went back out to the living room to sit down on the couch and wait for them. I sat down next to him, close enough our legs were touching.

It didn't take too long for his mom and dad to join us. It was only once his mom managed to get what she needed cooking in the ovens and on the stove, and now we all sat awkwardly looking at each other. Jax had his eyes on the floor, tense while he waited for someone to start the conversation.

"Would someone please just start?" Jamie finally said after what felt like an eternity of waiting.

"H-how long have you, um, been..." Mrs. Winters started, and trailed off for a moment, waving her hand like she didn't know exactly how to ask the question.

Jax had moved his eyes up to look at his mother, his face unreadable. "Bisexual?" he supplied.

Mrs. Winters nodded her head. "Jamie tells us this isn't a new development?"

"I knew in middle school," Jax replied, crossing his arms in front of him as he leaned back into the cushions of the couch. "I had my first kiss with a guy back then. And no, it wasn't Tobias. Toby hadn't even told me he was gay yet."

That was true. I came out to Jax in high school, near the middle of ninth grade. It was mostly because I felt so alone, and I was breaking under the pressure of it. I needed one person who knew and wouldn't judge me. I had been so scared to tell him, mostly because I knew his family was conservative so I was worried he would be too. Instead, he had started laughing and then patted me on the back before he told me, "Yeah, boys are fucking hot."

I looked at him differently after that, but didn't really start falling for him until college.

"I didn't tell you two because I knew what the conversation was going to be like," Jax finally said with a sigh. "You'd tell me it's just a phase, it goes against the church, it's an embarrassment to the family, and more. I kind of refuse to believe that love, genuine and life changing love, could be bad, no matter who it's between. Shouldn't you want a partner for your child that genuinely loves them and would do anything to make them happy? Who wants nothing but to see them happy?"

His parents didn't reply to that, just sat there silently considering it. I looked over at Jamie and she gave me a look that told me to get involved. I didn't know what to say though. What could I say that would make this better?

I looked at Jax, who looked like he was beginning to shut down, and put my hand on his knee before speaking to his parents. "You two know my parents, right? Have seen them around, know what church they go to, likely hear things about their life around this very small town?"

"Of course," Mr. Winters replied.

"They cut me, their only son, off because I was gay," I forced myself to say, my eyes focusing on nothing in particular. "Maybe that will get them points in heaven. Who knows for sure? What I do know is that it hasn't gotten them a ton of points here. Sure, their church people love it, but their son hates them. My youngest sisters kind of detest them too. Most of us don't talk to them anymore. I think it's just a matter of time before Carly and Eleanor leave them in the wind too.

"The sad thing is, they'll grow old with no family to take care of them. They'll probably end up in a cheap care home eventually, and not a single child will visit them, and it's only by their own doing. You two are different though, because unlike my parents, I think you genuinely love your kids. I think you love them enough that you are fearful for them, and worry about them, but you don't show it easily and you are worried about what could happen to Jax if he's dating me."

Jax put his hand over mine, squeezing my hand. "Homophobia is the worst thing that could happen, and I'm already fighting that here today."

I nodded at that, though I didn't mention that murder for homophobia was actually the worst, but now wasn't the time for that. "If I thought that me leaving Jax and letting him find some woman to marry and be a happy family with everyone was what would make Jax happy, I would do it in a heartbeat."

I finally focused on Jax as he looked at me with a panicked expression, shooting up in his seat like he was about to launch himself at me to not let me go anywhere. "Tobias no, please..."

"Stop," I told him. "I'm not saying I'm going to, just that I would if it would make you happy. Your happiness matters more than my wants. Your needs are more important to me than anything, even if it ends up hurting me in the end."

Jamie smiled at that. "See, that's the kind of love I could only hope to find. It's what all of us deserve."

I gave Jamie a grateful smile before turning to look at Jax's parents. They were watching us now, but the anger and hostility weren't there anymore. They looked nervous, and worried, but I could tell that something the two of us said had hit its mark. It never would have with my parents, but I generally thought most people were more redeemable than them.

His parents ended up agreeing that they had been unfair, and that they were going to hold judgment until they had seen us together for a while, which was likely the best outcome we could have hoped for. I was not uninvited that day, and in fact, his mom asked me to help with the rest of dinner so she could get to know me better.

Jax and I weren't overly affectionate when the rest of his family was there, mostly because it was about taking baby steps with his parents, and we could make up for it later. He did put his hand on my knee a few times through the night though, as his parents allowed us to sit next to each other. I was surprised to find out later that his mom had told some of the relatives we were dating and told them not to make rude comments.

All in all, it was a good holiday. The food was amazing, the talk was pretty good, and we had fun. The next day we took Mrs. Winters out for Black Friday shopping because her husband hated it, and we did pretty well for ourselves. Jax even found an amazing deal on an espresso machine so we ended up taking that home with us.

Jamie was beyond ecstatic as we drove back home, saying she was going to keep talking to their parents about life as a queer man and try to get them onto the side of happy to plan our wedding by the end of all of this. I thought it was sweet and I loved the way Jax's face lit up as he listened to his sister.

By December, Jax wanted me to go to Christmas with him, and I was more than happy to. We all drove together again, and it was better than Thanksgiving had been. Apparently, Mrs. Winters had gone to a group for parents with gay children. She had talked quite a bit with the other parents there, and came back with stories for her husband to hear, as well as advice. We got an incredibly warm welcome two days before Christmas, and we were even allowed to share Jax's childhood room.

I would like to say we were perfectly well behaved the entire time we were in their home, but night time came and we wanted nothing more than to be all over each other. We kept our voices down, and mostly stuck to hand jobs and blow jobs, not full blown sex, though I did take him in the shower once because he begged me to.

When we got back home after New Years, we decided it was time to move away from the apartment. We liked it and it had served us well, but we wanted more space, more privacy, and we wanted to give Jamie an option to stay with us longer without any pressure to get out because we couldn't cool the sex for a bit.

We ended up finding a really nice ranch home, which had four bedrooms and two baths, which had the master on the other side of the house from the other bedrooms. It was kind of perfect, plus it had a big backyard and a finished basement. Between both of our jobs, we could easily afford the place, so we put an offer down and got it.

All of our friends helped us move and unpack, making a party of it over a weekend. We ate a ton of pizza and had beer, and I noticed that Jamie was starting to get awfully cozy with Garrett. I would have thought Jax would have an issue with it, but he didn't. He was more than happy to see his sister have an interest in our friend.

"Garrett's a good person," Jax said to me. "More power to them."

He was right too. Garrett was a great guy; he was respectful of people's boundaries and consent, he had a good job, and I had seen what a romantic he could be. He was a damn good boyfriend from what I had seen of his past relationships, and Jamie was an amazingly compassionate, loving, and caring woman. They were a good match.

I thought things would kind of mellow down at this point. We had dealt with Jax's family, and gotten a new house. We were settling in well and things were so good. Being with Jax like this, dating and being able to tell him how in love with him I was, felt perfect beyond belief. I even enjoyed having Jamie here with us, and it meant Garrett was over a ton for dinner and sleep overs. Life was good.

It was a little before February when we got a knock on the front door while making breakfast. Jamie was getting ready to go to work while I had taken a day off so I could spend some time with Jax. Jamie was trying to finish her food and Jax was washing dishes, so I went to the front door to see who was there that early.

I went completely still as I opened the door to see my sister Carly standing on the front steps. Her blonde hair was pulled up in a messy bun and she was wearing baggy clothes, which was odd for her. I didn't know she even owned clothes that baggy. I could see dark circles under her brown eyes and she looked anxious, wringing her hands in front of her.

Carly and I hadn't spoken much since our parents had kicked me out. She was two years younger than me, and had kind of taken the most joy in my fall from grace in their eyes. I had never really understood why, but it meant we didn't speak. I wasn't sure how she even got my address. As far as I knew, she didn't even know where the old apartment was, much less the new house.

"Tobias," she said quietly, and before I could even say anything, she burst into tears.

I stood there in shock, not entirely sure what to do. I had a lot of anger for her, but seeing my sister breaking down like this was still hard. I hesitantly brought my hand forward to touch her shoulder, and she came forward to wrap me in a hug while she sobbed into my chest.

I waited until she had calmed down a little and then brought her into the house. Jax and Jamie were talking at the kitchen table and they both went silent when they saw Carly coming in with me, her face red and puffy from crying.

"Carly?" Jax said and got up, coming over to her to hug her.

We got her to sit down on the couch, and she got nervous again.

"How did you know where we lived?" I asked.

"I begged Mrs. Winters to tell me," she admitted, wiping a tear away. "You live the closest, and..."

I shook my head at that. "No, mom and dad live closest to you."

Carly cleared her throat. "I'm not...We aren't speaking right now."

That got my attention and I leaned forward in my seat next to Jax, waiting for her to tell me more. She grimaced at me.

"You're enjoying that, aren't you?" she asked me.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. I don't take joy in your pain, Carly. I don't even take joy in theirs. I'm more curious as to what could have turned you against them. It would have to be bad because you adore our parents more than anyone else."

Carly looked at me, trying to tell if I was being genuine, and then she took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm pregnant."

We all stared at her in shock. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out whether she got married and I hadn't been told about it by any of our siblings. It was the only explanation as to her being pregnant, because our parents had very specific rules around sex for us, and those would continue even into adulthood. Most of my siblings still struggled with sex because of it, though I had shed it a while ago once I knew no matter whether I waited until marriage, I would still be sinning to them. Might as well have all of the sex I could then, right?

"Congrats to you and your...husband?" I said to her, making it clear I was confused.

She shook her head. "No husband. And honestly, I barely remember the night where I conceived. I don't remember drinking that much but..."

Her face crumpled again as she said that part, and it hit me like a lightning strike that whatever had caused her to be pregnant wasn't consensual. I felt tears stinging my eyes as she started sobbing again, and I motioned for Jax to move so I could sit next to my sister. I wrapped my arms around her again, and she buried her head in my shoulder.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," I said to her quietly. "Do you want me to hunt him down? Murder him? I have friends who will help me hide the body."

That made her chuckle despite it all, and she moved away to look up at me and shook her head. "I appreciate that but no. What I need is...help. Mom and dad want me to either get married to one of their church friend's sons and let him adopt the baby, or adopt the baby out and keep myself hidden until the baby is born. I don't want to be a mom, Tobias, but I also don't want my baby to be sent off to some home where I don't know if he or she will be safe. And it's too late to abort. I haven't even seen the doctor other than to figure out how far along I am. I'm over halfway through."

"Halfway?" I said, shocked. "And you just found out?"

"I thought I was just not eating right," she admitted. "I've been so depressed since it happened. I tried exercising, but I had been gaining weight and it never occurred to me."

My heart broke for her, and despite the animosity she had for me when I got outed and kicked out, I didn't want my sister to suffer. I looked at Jax, almost for permission, and he gave me a short nod that told me whatever I wanted to do was fine and it was my decision. So I told her that she should stay with us for a little bit while she figured it out. I was more than happy to help her find a doctor and figure out what she wanted to do.

"You'd help me despite how I've treated you?" she asked me, surprise evident on her face.

"Of course I would, Carly," I replied. "The home we grew up in wasn't one that fostered great relationships between each other. There was far too much competition and triangulation." She made a face that made it clear she didn't know what that was. "That means they would pit us against each other a lot. Make us think our siblings weren't on our side and cause fights. I suspect that's most of what caused our big fight after I got kicked out."

Carly swallowed and looked away. "It might be, but mostly it was that I was jealous that you were their perfect son who could do no wrong, and when they found out you were gay, it was like you finally weren't perfect. I took too much pride in the idea that you weren't perfect and the golden child. I've been on the other side now, with everyone hating me for being the one who can do no wrong in their eyes, and I realize that it couldn't have been easy for you."

"I hid just about everything about myself and my personality just to stay on their good side," I admitted. "The brother you saw in that house wasn't me. It was just a shell of what they wanted me to be, and I was miserable. Getting kicked out was kind of a blessing, honestly."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm sorry for being so cruel to you, and for enjoying what happened. And I'm sorry I didn't try to fix it before all of this."

"You're here now," I said and smiled at her. "It's a step. We have a guest bedroom, and we can help however you need."

So help we did. I called work to explain what was going on. On the plus side, my job could be done remotely. I could work on my accounts and speak to clients from home, so that's what I did. I made sure I planned things around so I could take Carly to the doctor, as well as help her find a counselor to work through her feelings. She found someone great and even invited me to a few sessions so we could talk about our relationship and how living with our parents' abuse had damaged it.

It was actually really helpful for us. Being able to talk through what we went through, and how we had hurt each other was making us far closer than we had ever been. It was a good couple of months getting to know each other as adults as I helped her work through the hardest thing she had ever gone through.

It was mid March when she came into the living room a little before dinner and sat down, looking at us nervously. "I think I know what I want to do."

"That's good," Jax said encouragingly. "So, what's the plan?"

"I want to go with adoption," she breathed out. "But I want to make sure the couple who adopts is good. I also want to be able to be in my child's life, and they can know later who I am, but I need to do serious counseling to be able to do that without it making me panic, and I want to eventually get my tubes tied and just focus on my career. So, with that in mind, I want you two to be the ones who adopt the baby."