Twenty years, where did they go?........well, this is the story......
Twenty years ago I was 26 years old, just finished law school and had a good entry level position at a law firm. My job was in the same city as the law school and I had kept my apartment out in the suburbs and commuted into the city center.
I admit that I was quite good looking, about 6 foot, 180 pounds, masculine with a reasonably hairy chest and short, well groomed beard. Although I am bisexual, I had been dating throughout college and law school with both men and women. I never found anyone I really clicked with and I guess in reality, spiritually, I was somewhat of a loner.
At twenty-sex, I had a high sex drive so I was constantly looking for hook-ups. It was always easier to get no-strings-attached sex with guys so most of my hook-ups were with guys and I slowly stopped chasing girls. As both a top and bottom, there was always a lot to choose from and I ended up meeting a different guy every time and usually about two to three times a week. While the sex was usually good, somehow I felt quite empty.
One Friday, I had had a tough week, so I left work and took the train home a little earlier than usual. I stopped by the electronics store in a strip mall near the train station to purchase a new mouse for my computer. I was contemplating if I should try and find a hook-up that evening or just go home and chill. I wandered a little aimlessly around the shop and made my way up to the check-out.
In the line, there was a man in front of me, he looked to be about 35 years old, 6 foot, 3 inches, with a large, but well groomed black hair and long beard, jeans, nice leather boots and a stylish suede jacket. He was quite muscular and had just the beginnings of a beer belly. He looked hopelessly hetero and since I really didn't get a gaydar signal from him, I didn't pay too much attention to him after the initial once over.
He was trying to explain to the cashier that he had a store credit to use to pay, but she was clearly not too bright. I followed along a little bit as he was speaking very politely to her, but in a powerful and stern way with a very deep, masculine voice. It was an ordinary, run of the mill type of situation that one finds in a store and nothing more than that registered in my brain.
Another cashier came to the front to expedite my purchase and I was finished at the same time as the man in front of me. He happened to turn around and glance at me before he started for the door. We caught each other's glance and I looked directly into his dark brown eyes. He turned and started walking for the door.
At that moment, something happened to me that I cannot now, nor ever will be able to explain or understand, I can only chalk it up to fate. It was like the whole world stopped, my conscious thought turned off and suddenly I was being driven by a hidden force that I did not resist.
I followed the man out of the door and walked a few steps behind him. He turned around and saw me near and waited a split second until we were walking side by side. Neither a glance nor any words were exchanged. He went to the driver's side of his pickup truck, unlocked the vehicle and I climbed into the passenger side. He started the engine and started to drive.
I didn't even question myself as to, "What are you doing?" It just felt right. We drove in silence out of town and after about fifteen minutes we arrived at an older farm house. It was still in the city limits and the farmland had apparently been divided up and several houses which were reasonably in close proximity.
We got out of the truck and walked into the house via the kitchen door. I could see several rooms from that vantage point and everything was clean and orderly. He took two beers out of the refrigerator and we went into the den and he sat the two beers on the coffee table. He sat down at one end of the sofa and I chose to sit in the middle. We both reached for the beers at the same time, popped the top and took a swig. He turned on the TV and I removed my suit jacket and loosened my necktie.
Looking back on this now, I realize how awkward this situation should have been for both of us. We should have at least said something--anything--or even toasted with the beer bottles. One of us should probably have been anxious or nervous when there was no verbal communication, eye contact or any acknowledgement that we were two people there. At the time however, it felt completely normal.
He turned on the evening news, took his telephone up and apparently ordered two pizzas as while we were watching the local news, two pizzas were delivered. He took them from the delivery guy, set them down on the coffee table and we ate while watching the national news.
After we had finished, we both took the pizza boxes and empty beer bottles to the kitchen, he took two more beers from the refrigerator and we returned to the sofa. The evening film was "Ghost" and we sat in silence watching at our respective places on the sofa. After some time, I removed my tie completely, slid over to him and put my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and we watched the rest of the film like this.
Resting my head on his shoulder felt so good, I could hear his heartbeat and his chest rise slowly up and down with his breathing. His arm was wrapped tightly around me giving me a feeling of security and warmth. At one point in time, he leaned his head down and rested it on my head and it really felt nice and his beard felt good on my forehead and cheek. While there are romantic and funny scenes in the movie, neither of us reacted, we just sat there together in silence.
After the film was over, he got up and went toward what I guessed was the bedroom so I followed. He took all his clothes off except his boxer briefs, I did the same and we climbed into bed together, him laying on his back. I moved over, putting my head on his shoulder and he draped his arm over my other shoulder. I lay there listening to his heartbeat and breathing and soon I was fast asleep.
I awoke in an empty bed, I hadn't slept that well in years and I was totally refreshed. I could hear noises from the kitchen and I went to investigate. He was pouring two cups of coffee and had a tray with bread, butter and jam which he picked up and took out on the patio behind the kitchen. The morning was warm and sunny and we sat there enjoying the sun and breakfast.
We looked into each other's face for the first time since our eyes had briefly met in the electronics shop. He was staring intently into my eyes, I followed suit and looked into his brown eyes that gave me a feeling of someone with limitless kindness, but still reserved like someone who was perhaps a wounded soldier. He had masculine features, straight nose, nice lips, and his beard was a little scraggly from sleeping on it.
Without blinking, he said softly in his deep bass voice, "My name is Josh."
"I'm Tom," I replied.
"Nice to meet you," he responded and nodded his head up and down a little bit, but still holding his hawklike gaze into my eyes.
