To recap, in case you missed my earlier posts: I have a wonderful gay uncle who has been a great role model to me as a young gay man. I'm 22, he's 51, but as adults we've always gotten along as equals. He's shown me how to be a masculine man without being toxic, how to be gay and part of a larger queer community. He's introduced me to drag queens, marched with me at pride, took me to a gay bar for the first time, and generally helped me feel safe to be myself. I guess I've always had a little crush on him, but that sort of exploded about a week ago when I accidentally discovered that he does porn.
Not just any porn, either. He mainly plays with younger guys, often in a dom/sub fashion, usually in a Daddy/boy style, but occasionally in an uncle/nephew scene. Needless to say, I signed up to his fans page and started shooting a lot of loads.
And like an idiot, I made use of the messaging feature in the site, and I guess I must have implied a few things that hit too close to home, because he somehow figured out that it was me.
There were so many reactions I could have expected- anger, disgust, rejection. Of course, deep in my heart I hoped he would say that he wanted me to come be one of his boys, to do in reality what he often acted out in fantasy for the camera. I didn't have high hopes for that though, because before he figured out who I was he counselled me not to try and pursue real-life incest, saying that it was not at all like the fantasies in porn.
I got the scariest possible reaction though: he said we needed to sit down and talk, and refused to elaborate or give any indication about what he was thinking or feeling. I felt heartbroken even though I didn't even know what he wanted to say to me. But I agreed to meet him at his apartment the next evening.
I was distracted all day again at work the next day, but now instead of lust for my uncle I was worried I'd damaged my wonderful relationship like him, as he'd warned me. Again my supervisor at the warehouse noticed my lack of focus and wasn't impressed, but was kind enough to just give me some tedious work away from any heavy machinery.
When I got home from work, my heart still heavy in my chest, I had a quick light meal and started giving myself a decent douche. I felt kind of stupid doing it, knowing that it was most likely pointless, but now that the cat was out of the bag I figured I might as well be prepared for that one-in-a-million possibility. I picked out some nice clothes- clothes I might wear on a date, and put on a sexy jockstrap underneath. When I looked in the mirror, I actually felt pretty good. If he was going to let me down, at least I'd look handsome doing it. I put on a dab of cologne, not too much, just enough to leave a hint.
By the time I parked in front of Uncle Neil's house I was shaking. I took a moment to steady myself, to relax, and then walked up the steps to his front door and rang the bell.
When he answered it, I was amused to see that he looked well-dressed too, as if we were going out for dinner or something. A nice button-up shirt and black slacks, and a heavy silver watch. He had a serious look on his face.
"Come on in, kiddo," he said, not knowing that this nickname gave me butterflies in my stomach. I stepped inside.
He got us each a beer, and we sat on his couch, on either end of it like the start of an awkward hookup. He tried to look comfortable and failed. I did the same.
"So... you've been enjoying the site?" he asked, almost casually, as if I were a random fan. I smirked, then stifled it.
"Yes. A lot, if I'm being honest."
"Good. And yeah, let's be honest. We've always been honest with each other. Even about difficult things."
"Okay. I agree."
"So you've been liking the site."
"Yes," I reiterated, wondering if he realized he just asked me that.
"What do you like about it?"
I tried not to squirm.
