== VORTEX QUEST 6-9 ==
== TOMB RAIDERS ==
Xane swaggered across the Sneak Attack's deck, an illusory, ever-flowing rainbow cape draped over his right shoulder.
He could have pumped a modicum of thaum-power into his sphincter and healed it to full tightness again but with the swaying of the ship nobody noticed he was walking broad legged, and leaving his hole to gape let delicious after-gasms roll through his body, turning every step into a gentle pillow-hit to the brain.
The Rock Lubber chieftain's curse was nearly defeated but cum still bubbled from his shiny nub-dome every so often.
"Docking," the helmsman announced from the front and the vessel trembled as it sat slightly crooked atop the docking bars.
Goro and the Troll mechanic Gonyo Bana let the plank down, opening the ship to a grove of purple-leaved Ginkgo trees.
The pantheon hopped down into the ferns, while the four Hellions of the Sneak Attack disembarked with a chest of their stuff in tow.
Zlennrop met them under the shade of the grove. He was accompanied by two normal looking Hellions in black robes that marked them as Warlocks, two Ultrallions enhanced by embedded blue gems where human souls swam, four Hellion-Abominations with various mutations like green slime dripping from the eye sockets, spikes growing from the back or skeletal, burnt-seeming arms, and finally a blue Drake in a long, silver loin cloth, with a massive sword at the hip.
"Nice alliance," Chay commented. "Enough for a lordship?"
The Bonemaster bowed, his flesh-less wings half unfolding. "We are nearly ready to claim a fringe territory. There should be little resistance. The supply of... rejected Hellions is a rather small trickle, so we would pose no great threat."
"Even so," Chay said, "if there's trouble, you can send us a message."
Xane flexed and let his lightning travel from his shoulders into his fingers. Goro hit a loose most-muscular and let his body pulse to size. Marcus just let a white flame flicker up his mohawk. Diego did nothing but grin and stare in admiration. They'd have to work on his presentation skills.
Zlennrop gave a smaller bow, then fixed his gaze on the approaching crewmen -- or *former* crewmen.
Seventh put his fist over his heart. "My liege? We seek refuge."
"You come with high recommendations," Zlennrop said. "We will skip the proceedings and Gtethian Trials. I will only ask what you have done to be expelled from your birth-court."
Seventh glanced at the pantheon.
"...later," Zlennrop clarified.
"Then this is goodbye," Chay said. "We're always open for helping each other out."
Seventh bowed and so did the other three skullheads. "It was a pleasure. Shall we?"
The alliance around the Bonemaster retreated into the grove. A smooth rock rose at a Warlock gesture, revealing itself as a huge, sunken stone skull. The group descended into its mouth.
Xane conjured a white handkerchief to wave after them like people in old-timey movies.
Chay clapped his hands together. "Well fuck. Now we have to actually *work* to keep our ship running. First Mate Xane, start the engine."
Co-captain Xane," the wizard said and gave the leader a mage-tongue lick across the hole.
Chay's ass flexed involuntarily. "All right, third mate Xane it is. First Mate Marcus, the engine."
"Ay," the newly appointed crewman said and saluted with enough force to fling himself back into a series of wheels, finishing with a backward somersault onto deck.
"You know," Xane said, "making someone else do the work kinda defeats the point of downgrading me." He conjured sunglasses onto his face and a Margarita into his hand. "But I'm fine with it."
Before Chay could retort, Xane swung his arm around Diego and pulled the warder along. "And *you*, newbie," Xane said, "need to learn to show off a bit more. People need to see power here to listen, you know that."
"Not everyone's a natural blowhard," Diego said.
Chay caught up to them. "He was distracted."
"By what?" Xane asked, frowning at Diego.
Diego raised an eyebrow. "You got turned gay, man. You know what it's like to watch four gods from behind."
"Demigods," Chay corrected.
Diego grinned and for the first time there was something sheepish about it. "It was a metaphor and you know it."
Xane let his hand slip from Diego's shoulder, down his spine, magically chilling his fingertips until he reached the crack. He shoved two fingers into the other man's ass and flexed with the other hand. Diego arched, shivered and reciprocated the pose with his lithe arms.
They made it under the Sneak Attack's arches and the ship took off.
Xane wanted to give the gay man the fuck of his life right then and there, but a huge part of him craved to be admired.
"You know what I haven't done in a while?" Xane asked. "My posing routine." He created an illusory mirror surface on two corner walls. "Mind watching?"
"Nothing I'd rather do," Diego said and sat down, cross-legged on a half-sphere ward. Curse-cum drizzled past the pouch of his jockstrap.
Goro gave a grunt and stepped toward the mirror-corner, too. Chay was quick to hold him back, both hands on the massive pecs. "Sorry, buddy," the leader said. "With those airheads busy sucking each other's cocks -- 'metaphorically' -- you'll have to step it up. Starboard section eight has a trans-focal co-lifter in need of oiling and I have a temporal-creature encyclopedia to read."
Xane gave his gym buddy a nod and watched him walk to the back of the ship. Then he started his routine.
Without music, he didn't have much of a rhythm which sucked immensely. He slowly fucked himself with a ribbed demon-cock, flexing to the beats of his hole. Better than any soundtrack.
===***===
Xane let thaum-magic seep into the converter. The crystal seemed to suck up divine power as eagerly as the mirror tunnel in Mockery had, drinking the drizzle of light insatiably.
He had suggested the name "Xane's massive rod" and been rewarded with a litany of jokes about compensating, so he had asked for name suggestions.
For now it was known as the Fucking Heavy Tube, as Goro had not-so-lovingly called it.
Still wrapped into its blankets, save for the converter compartment and the barrel's end, the FHT was tricky to aim. But Xane wasn't looking for precision on his test shot.
The Sneak Attack had pulled into an abandoned tunnel barely big enough to fit it, which only lead to a condemned, toxic area. The occasional howl of something too big for comfort inside the condemned cavern echoed in the relative darkness.
"...Nine...Ten..." Chay said and slapped Xane's hand away. "Ready?"
"I don't think it's even remotely full," Xane said.
"We'll scale it up slowly," Chay responded. "Go."
The FHT didn't have a trigger like a human gun. You just had to 'will' it to fire and hope it accepted you as its owner.
