Isn't it grand when you have found someone in your life that really does make all the difference to one's outlook and everything.
I am thinking I was so down before I met Danny. I knew I was homosexually inclined from the time of my adolescence when realised, when most of my mates were looking at girls, I was looking at other guys. But unlike them I could not express my feelings because the others were straight.
So I spent months searching for the opportunity to find someone who was really compatible to my leaning, and someone who I could perhaps spent the rest of my life with.
I really wanted that. and learned the hard way being so keen to find someone. And several times I ended up with a dirty one night stand or even shorter discovering that the guys I thought were genuine, who wanted something more than just a quick poke, were a rare commodity. But I was determined to be selective and it was the purchase of a new laptop that did it for me.
Several guys I spoke too though were of the same category as those I had met in public toilets and the like (how did I ever do that! I could never now) and remember an embarrassing time when a toilet attendant caught us at it. The other guy, I didn't even know his name, scampered and left me having to face the threat by the attendant who said he would call the police, unless...
"Unless?" I asked.
"Unless you come with me to my car, I have finished my shift now."
I was in a catch 22 but I wanted to retain my respectability and if it got out I had been toilet bashing I'd probably have lost my job and everything.
Still sore from the vile experience I had with this guy in the toilet cubicle I suffered the hammering of the caretaker in the rear seat - who made sure he got his gratification by pumping his seven and a half inches deep into me and afterwards telling me to behave and I wouldn't get into trouble.
"That guy you were with has had several young guys in here so you don't want to see him again else you may well get the crabs."
But that did the trick for me and I vowed never to meet guys like that again. I spent time getting to talk and communicate with probable's over the net by way of Skype and by mobile phone.
I soon found out though that many sad and lonely guys talk just for the sake of it, having no intention of keeping a date when arrange.
I guess you get to know the good ones who want to talk about other things than dirty. Those who don't just want to share a wank with you via skype and just want to see yours while they show you theirs. So sad.
I made dates with about three probable's with the understanding we would just get to know each other personally and nothing more, until we both felt we wanted to go further.
But when dates weren't kept I started to grow despondent and feared that I would once again end up on the one night stands to gratify the urge I had, in having been disappointed so many times. When all those dreams and fantasies about how it might be with the guy I was going to meet the next day, never came to fruition.