Weird Weeend

Author's note: Both characters are over 18+. Contains vulgar language, and references to drinking, smoking, and impregnation. I use words such as "pussy," "cunt," and "clit" to describe one of the character's genitals.

I'm open to prompts/ideas/suggestions for possible future stories and I also take paid requests (email in my bio).

Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy.

- - - - -

I don't know how it happened, but I'm so glad it did. I remember it was a warm summer morning, some months ago now. We slowly rose out of sleep, pawing lazily at each other with eyes barely open. Soft, relaxed, skin on skin; exchanging sleepy and contented murmurings as we rolled over to spoon. I'm almost always the big spoon. I was dropping off back into deep, weekend sleep when he woke me with movement and an exclamation. "Ralphie, what's that?" He moved out of my grasp and turned around. "Hmm? What?" I said, waking slowly.

He uncovered our naked bodies from the duvet and audibly gasped at what he saw. "You've got a cock!"

"Wha-?" Still in my sleep daze, I glanced to where my groin met his bare cheeks, really not expecting to find what I did. "What the fuck?!" I was awake immediately and practically threw the duvet off the bed. On my back, I couldn't believe it. I had a cock and balls. An actual cock and actual balls. Not only that but a very proud, engorged, long erection. Thick, too! I was speechless, as was my Adam. We both just stared. Then he moved to sit up, perhaps to fetch his glasses; and as I was glancing over at him to read the shock and disbelief on his face, fully expecting I might actually wake up right then, I saw it. "Adam! Your cock's gone!"

"What the fuck?! No. No, nonono." His hands scrambled to his now flattened groin, as if expecting his manhood to reappear when summoned - perfectly reasonable given the circumstances. He felt himself frantically. I sat up to watch and look closer as he pawed at what was now his vulva. "This can't be happening! This isn't real, this isn't real -"

"Hey, hey," My voice shook as I tried to soothe him by stroking his back, though my mind was racing. Were we experiencing some shared, strange, vivid-as-life hallucination? Was that even possible? Was I still dreaming? It didn't feel like a dream.

"Hey, calm down, Adam." He turned to me and had little tears in his eyes.

"Calm down?! What the hell is happening?!"

- - - - -

After our freak out, I decided it was best to put on some clothes and brew some very strong coffee. Adam was visibly shaken. The possibility of this all being a bizarre dream or nightmare we'd wake up from became slimmer and slimmer each passing second neither of us awoke. "This isn't a dream, is it?" He shakily lit a cigarette in the kitchen. I made a long face at him from across the table. "It's... it's a dream come true." I was overcome and couldn't sit still. Then I noticed Adam's souring face. "Uh, for me! For me!" I had to add. Adam rolled his eyes at me. "How did this happen?"

"I have no idea, baby. But I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wished for a cock, like, a million times."

"But... Why me, if it's your wish? Did you wish I had a pussy, too?!"

"No, no, never! You know I love your dick. Uh, loved your dick."

Adam took a long drag on his cigarette and there was a pause between us. "Well, what are we gonna do now?"

- - - - -

It took him a few hours to stop being so visibly tense and shaken. I think I heard him having a little cry in the shower. I felt awful for him. But I also felt great for me at the same time. And I kept getting huge, sometimes painful erections - like I might actually bust a nut. It was all very confusing.

Adam came out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his head and another wrapped around his waist. He looked fresher after the shower. He came right over to where I was sitting on the bed and, still wet, hugged me tightly like he needed it. "I don't understand." He muttered.

"Me neither, baby. Me neither. But I'm here." He looked down at me, still sad. My heart broke. "Hey, come on now. Whatever supernatural forces are fucking with us - we're still alive. We're gonna be all right."

"Easy for you to say." He sat on the bed next to me.

"Well..." I shrugged. "Up until this morning I had a pussy. It's, uh, it's not that bad... once you get used to it. And, heh, you know by how much noise I make when you screw me that it feels-"

"Jesus, Ralph! Stop thinking with your dick!"

I couldn't help but laugh then. "Actually, it's kind of hard not to right now." I nodded down at the big tent in my trousers. "It's a bit painful."

"God, really?" Adam frowned at my erection. "Maybe you should... sort yourself out or something. You do need a shower."

"Yeah, I'll do that." I got up and started to undress. "I've been wanting to for hours, but you seemed so upset that I-"

"God! Just go!"

"You don't want to watch?" I asked jokingly as I opened the door to the bathroom. Adam chucked the towel from his head at me in response. I made him smile.

- - - - -

I felt so much better after a wank and a wash. Technically, it was my first wank with my new cock. My technique definitely needed improvement; I decided to aim for being an ambidextrous wanker this time around. But I was so pent up that it barely took me two minutes to cum all over the nice new Majolica tiles in the shower. It felt amazing, perhaps better than my best orgasms from before. I thought I'd be done after one, as I usually am, but all it took to get hard again was lathering up my fresh new pair of bollocks. So I came again. Thankfully not as embarrassingly quick as the first time. I was already dreaming about this new hole of Adam's I could stick myself in. I felt like I did when I was 18 and constantly horny after just starting testosterone therapy. I wondered if I needed to take that any more.

I got out of the shower and towelled and covered myself and found Adam naked, staring at himself in our big bedroom mirror. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Adam didn't look away. "It looks... I don't know-"

"You look gorgeous." I approached him from behind and gave him a hug.

"You're just saying that." He hugged me back. "You don't even like pussy."

"I do now." I gave him a hungry look through the mirror. He blushed and rolled his eyes and broke away to get dressed.

I was already getting hard again and dropped my towel to look in the mirror. I looked pretty damn good. "What do you think?" I smirked at Adam.

"It's so big. Bigger than I am - er, was. Bigger than I was."

"Think you could handle it?" I wiggled and made it bob around for effect. Adam let out an exaggerated huff and turned away smiling and shaking his head.

"If you can manage to stop playing with yourself, we can make dinner."

"Oh good, I'm starving."

- - - - -

We'd eaten dinner and sunk into our bed at around ten o'clock with a much needed, generous glass of wine each. The bottle sat close by on the bedside table as we scrolled through Netflix for something light-hearted to watch. We finally settled on some silver screen horror movie we could laugh at. I nursed my wine slowly while Adam sat brooding in near silence, save for the sounds of him refilling his glass what seemed like every five minutes.

"It's not a race," I said.

"I know. I just can't believe it."

"Me neither. I mean who goes swimming in the river at night after -"

"No! Not the movie." Adam sighed and I turned to him.

"Are you okay?"

"Not really." He deflated. "What if we're like this forever?"

"Um. I don't know." I sipped my wine for a minute. "I guess we'll see in the morning and take it from there. There's not much we can do, is there?"

"No, there isn't."

Minutes of silence passed between us. Adam seemed to focus more on the film and less on drinking his manhood back into reality. But I couldn't help myself. I'd been thinking about it all day. "So. Have you... tried it out yet?" I raised my eyebrows at my lover.

"Uh, no. Not yet."

"Would you like to?"

"I don't know, Ralphie, it's all very strange. And to tell you the truth, I'm a bit worried about the size of that thing." He raised his eyebrows and titled his head in the direction of my groin. I looked down under the covers and tittered. My semi was very noticeable in my boxer briefs. "But I have been... throbbing." He continued. "When we were at the mirror earlier, I could feel it, inside."

"Did it feel good?"

"It felt strange." Adam thought for a moment. "But it felt good."

"Can I touch you, baby? Just with my hands, until you tell me otherwise." I looked like a begging puppy as Adam considered my offer. He smiled.

"Since I might have to get used to it... go on then."

With that, Adam pulled off his own boxer briefs. I wasn't sure if I should take off the covers, so I didn't. Instead, I felt across his smooth, toned body like I had done so many times before. Slowly, I could start to feel the tension ease from his muscles. Adam responded with a little sigh before closing his eyes and leaning his head on my shoulder. I massaged him a little, working down his chest, then up his thighs, until my hand inched closer to his groin. I was watchful as I began to palm down his mound, looking for any signs of discomfort. Instead, he started to breathe heavier and let out a small pleasured noise as I cupped his soft, warm pussy. It felt like silk under my hand and made my cock twitch. I was fully hard in minutes.

I pushed my hand into him slowly, making small movements. I had no idea how sensitive he was down there, but I knew my own cock was responding to even the slightest stimulus, so I was careful not to press him too much. And as predicted, my careful movements were now eliciting small moans from him. I did this for a few moments, then felt more directly the sweet folds of his pussy. At the very centre, I could feel a warm wetness beginning to coat my fingers. He panted into me and I lifted up his head by the chin with my free hand to kiss him.

He was perhaps too overtaken by what he was feeling to kiss back much, almost tentative at first like he'd never kissed me before. But he was responsive, moaning into my mouth and leaning into my touch. I felt for his clit - smaller than mine ever was - and started to rub at his sensitive little nub. He gasped into my mouth, almost purring at me.

"Is that good?"

"Yes, yes. Keep... keep doing that..."

"Yes sir," I said, then kissed him deeply. He started to kiss me back between making breathy noises and ever so slowly I worked a finger inside him while keeping my thumb pressed on his nub. He was already so tight and warm and wet. It made my cock ache. "You're so snug down there," I breathed. He put an arm around me and we made out as I leaned my body into his. I paused for only a second to push off the duvet and get a little glimpse of him down there. It was indeed strange to see him like this, now without a dick, only a trimmed bush that hid his new slit. He spread his legs for me as my finger found his slick hole again. I ground my now leaking cock into his side, savouring the feeling even though I was trapped inside my underwear.

I built up to fingering him with more force, pushing myself in and out, in and out. He got a little louder each time I did so. "Fuck, Ralphie..." He moaned into my mouth. The movie played on in the background while I worked a second finger inside him. I went deeper and rougher inside, pressing into that special spot, until he was almost unable to kiss me back. "Come for me, gorgeous," I said before mouthing and sucking on his neck. It took only a few more moments of my hand working his insides for him to explode, his pussy squeezing my fingers rhythmically as he tensed and relaxed all at once with a broken, loud moan, shaking and holding onto me before going limp in relaxation.

He stayed like that for a couple of minutes before we untangled ourselves and he slumped back under the covers. He lay down and pawed me affectionately, barely able to keep his eyes open.

"Feeling a little better?" I asked as I sat up and sipped my wine and stroked through his hair with my other hand.

"That was... the best ever." He mumbled on a breath and closed his eyes.

"Baby," I leaned down to kiss him. "I'm so glad."

He leaned into me and I continued to play with his hair. A few moments later, I looked down and saw Adam had fallen soundly asleep.

- - - - -

Around ten in the morning I was awoken by Adam stripping the covers off us both. "Whuh?" I mumbled, struggling to open my eyes.

"It's still there." Adam said. "Yours too."

I sat up groggily with a vague recollection of yesterday's events. It all came back to me in an instant as I saw my cock - a cock which I didn't have until yesterday - straining in my underwear. "Oh wow." I mumbled.

"Huh. I guess this is how it is now."

- - - - -

Despite the weirdness of our weekend, I could already see Adam was in better form today. We managed to do all of the chores we'd neglected yesterday without much of a hitch. Adam showered without crying. But afterwards, I caught him staring at himself in the mirror. He turned in front of the mirror, seeing how the fit of his trousers looked now that he lacked any sort of bulge. He took them off and then checked from different angles how this new part of his body looked in his underwear, then took off his underwear and did the same. It had been a few minutes of concentrated looking, so I stepped into the room and asked him if he was all right.

"Yeah. Just getting used to how it looks now."

"Well, I think it looks great. You look great. And sexy." I smiled at him through the mirror. He smiled back and laughed a little, then began dressing himself again.

"Thank you. But I imagine it's a bit different for you." He pulled on his underwear and trousers.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you always wanted a dick. So there's no adjustment period for you."

"Oh. That's true. I guess I did get the better end of the stick. Heh. Stick." Adam rolled his eyes at me playfully. "Maybe what you're feeling right now is kind of like how I used to feel. I mean, I used to hate having a pussy."

"Seems hard to believe. You're an animal in bed."

"Ha, right! I got used to it over time. Hormones did wonders... I started to enjoy it. I figured it was better than taking a risk with surgery when the dysphoria became so minimal. And now I really don't need surgery."

"Ha, that's true. But this is still weird as fuck." We both laughed.

- - - - -

With Adam fully dressed, we decided it was time for lunch and time to finish the bottle of wine we'd opened last night - not that there was much left. "I think I'm going to take a week off." Adam said from across the table, chewing on a BLT sandwich.

"Yeah? Do you think that's a good idea? Being alone here all week."

"I think I need a week to process this. No. I deserve a week off."

"You do, but..." I thought for a moment. "In that case, I'll take a week off with you."

"That would be nice." Adam smiled at me. "You're handling this much better than me anyway."

"Well, I don't think my boss would appreciate me coming to work with an intermittent priapism."

"Oh shit, it's one of those?"

"I don't think so. It's stopped hurting. And it does go down. It just doesn't stay down for very long."

"To tell you the truth, I've actually been a bit horny as well."

"Oh yeah?" I raised my eyebrows over my drink. I'd always been the more carnal one between us, so this statement had my interest, and my dick's interest.

"Yeah. That must be part of why it's been such a shock."

"Other than the fact that we've essentially experienced a miracle."

"Well, I wouldn't call it a miracle..." Adam shook his head in an amused way and continued eating.

I munched on my lunch and got lost for a minute in the memory of last night. As if he'd read my mind, he broke the silence between us. "I really enjoyed last night."

"Me too. Although you would have never let me get away with falling asleep straight after." I smirked at him.

"You've got lettuce on your chin." Adam grinned at me. I pouted and wiped my chin. "I think it actually helped. You know, get rid of some of the tension."

"Well, I'm here all week," I said with a devilish smile.

I supposed for Adam, and really for any man, waking up to his trusty cock and balls re-jigged into a neat little pussy would be the definition of a waking nightmare. Credit where credit's due; he was taking it like a champ, maybe partially because of my help. And I intended to keep helping him; all week - longer if necessary. As much help as it takes to make him feel good.

- - - - -

We'd spent the day not doing much at all - a mix of lounging, hoovering, phoning our respective bosses to lie to them and say we both had food poisoning, searching the web for predicaments such as ours and trying to figure out what the cause of our unusual yet enchanting affliction may be. We didn't find any answers, and were only left with more questions.

At around eight o'clock or so after dinner and opening yet another bottle of wine, we were sat on the couch in our living room, exhausted by hours of internet searching which brought no conclusions. "Well that was a big waste of time," Adam said with a sigh.

"Looks like we're the only ones." I shrugged.

"You can find every fucked up, unbelievable, ridiculous tinfoil hat conspiracy theory on the web, but nothing on this." Adam shut his laptop with an exasperated huff.

"Even if there were others, what would we do? Do you think they would have somehow figured it out?"

"No, probably not. Things like this aren't supposed to happen."

"Right. It's like a glitch in the matrix. Or karmic punishment in your case." With that, Adam rolled his eyes at me and sunk back into the couch to nurse his wine. "I'm sorry, I was only joking," I said, finally shutting my laptop too. The page I was reading about mythological transformations was interesting, but not helpful to our situation.

"I know. I was just thinking. Even if we could go back, you probably wouldn't want to."

"Well, no, I wouldn't. But you would."

"Maybe it's tied up somehow. We both changed at the same time. So we'd both have to change back, too, or we'd both have to stay like this."

"Maybe. If we both wanted to..." I thought for a moment, then shrugged. "But it's all speculation. I have no idea what I'm talking about."

"Hey, you said so yourself: it's like a glitch. So your guess is as good as mine right now."

- - - - -

At ten o'clock, though we'd discussed the how and why of our situation at length, we were left with nothing concrete but the effects of this physiological mystery. Our conversation had eventually gotten much lighter, aided by the uncorking of yet another bottle of wine. Times like these are what a wine rack is for, after all. We'd been together so long that our bodies sought each other out for comfort. Adam especially needed the physical comfort of being held and touched, I'd noticed. It made him more at ease, more relaxed.

I was sat up, him laying his head on my thigh. My hand combed through his thick, dark hair. "It's funny," he began. "Last night felt really good. And that confuses me."

"Hmm? Why's that?"

"Well I didn't expect it would. And I... want to do that again." Hearing that sent a flutter through my stomach.

"I do too."

"It's still really weird though." Adam rolled his head so he was looking up at me. "It feels unreal."

"Yeah. Maybe we'll get used to it."

"You think so?"

"Hmm," I thought for a moment. "I think... it could be a lot worse, and I know we'd still manage. We're in this together. And we've both been in each other's shoes, haven't we?"

"Huh. So we have."

We continued talking up until midnight, and seemed to come to a place of tentative acceptance. More for Adam than me. I wasn't upset with what had happened to me, but my heart ached at how this had affected Adam. Though now he spoke as if this was potentially going to be a permanent facet of our lives, and considering the strange circumstances we felt we had to act as if it was just that.