My time discovering straight dick wasn't as slutty as later parts of my life would be. Sure it seems like my hunger to be penetrated was awakened and thus I sat on every pole I could find, but I was a lot more discreet than that. It took me a while to come out to my college friends. The hardest of all was my straight roommate.
He was my best friend in everything. We synced our humor, we finished each other's sentences and when one went somewhere without the other, people were utterly confused. Telling him I liked dick felt like a betrayal for what otherwise was a perfectly normal straight bromance. He responded admirably though, he didn't really care. Or it seemed. And I know what you're thinking. Virgin roommate, close bond, you just admit to being gay, surely by the end of this paragraph he's balls deep inside of you. I wish. For how much I considered him my platonic friend and how deeply unattracted I was to his skinny physique and slouchy style, I did often jerked off to the thought of him finally crossing that line. Of walking from his room to mine and penetrating me in the night. No one would have to know, as far as people didn't already gossiped about our bond. He could still be straight but he'd just no longer be a virgin. Win win. This is not that story.
The other half of our friend group was a couple, Sean and Esther feel like good names. Sean and Esther started out friends and became lovers and through it all we were close friends. If my roommate and I were not with each other, either Sean or Esther surely was with us. We completed each other. Sean and him had a love for sports, me and Esther for sappy movies. We were really close. The most distance was perhaps between me and Sean and because neither of us necessarily wanted this, we planned weekly beers while we joked that our "wives" were working. Yes, this is that kind of story.
"So you're really gay?" Sean asked me after the sun had already set and we had moved from the terrace of the café to inside with our fourth set of beers.
"I don't know," I answered honestly. Sex with my ex girlfriend was dull missionary in hind sight, but only because I thought all the extra positions in which porn stars did it were exactly what girls didn't want. But still, it was hot. I was attracted to her body and boobs and warm, wet pussy. Perhaps I wasn't really gay. But all the attraction also faded away when I thought about sex with men. When the two men had entered me, I felt like a woman. Submissive, overpowered, not even considering the option that I could orgasm because men are so selfish. It didn't feel straight or bisexual to feel that way.
"I guess so," I continued, an answer to both him and my own worries.
"I never would've guessed, man" he said, sipping his bear before putting it down. "I never would've guessed." He was obviously drunk and it was kind of funny seeing him so torn that a bro dude of his was now a bitch other men mounted.
"Sorry I don't announce it every time I walk into a room," I quipped. He laughed. "You... never?" I asked genuinely wondering, somehow hoping that if the answer was no I could definitely say I was gay, for straight men simply don't doubt.
"Of course I thought about it," he answered to my surprise. "It just doesn't turn me on," he said looking at me with a more sober stare.
Sean was everything my roommate was not. He could grow a full beard, loved to dress in brands and was skinny but fit. He was also a sweetheart who never had to be mean or rough to prove his masculinity. He was just a guy's guy without question.
I nodded politely and the conversation went on to other stuff. Time flew by as it always did and Sean invited me over to his place for more beer. We were in our early twenties and in college, alright? Alcoholism was sort of the main bonding experience for us all. So of course I agreed even though neither of us had bikes and the busses had long stopped running to that part of town.
