Apathy And Promiscuity
Lately, I've come to a place in life where nothing feels as good as it once did. I get almost no joy from the things that I once loved. Even my favorite foods seem somewhat bland.
Perhaps its due to my recent breakup with Jorge, one of the finest human beings on the planet. I'm not sure. But what scares me is that I really don't feel that bad about it. I don't feel anything about it.
Or maybe the breakup is just another symptom of this pervasive feeling of apathy that seems to have become a way of life for me lately.
When I first met Jorge, he was my raison d'etre. We had a really good thing going between us. Although we didn't actually live together, we did spend a great deal of time together and he was more a part of my life than anyone I've ever known. Even now we remain very good friends and still occasionally engage in sex, because, well, he's fucking hot.
This feeling of ennui that I'm experiencing may just be a mild depression. I feel utterly desensitized. Everything seems to bore the hell out of me and absolutely nothing shocks me anymore.
While I was still moping about, considering what I should do to try and shake off this creeping malaise, I received a phone call from my old boss and mentor, Andrew.
He invited me to his upcoming wedding. And of course I said yes, without any hesitation or reservation. Andrew is one of the few very people in the world that I can say is a true friend. And although I never really aspired to be like him, except the rich part, he was certainly a great role model.
We share a lot of the same mental attitudes. Work ethic being the primary bond between us.
Andrew had been my boss and the comptroller of the company when I first came to work for him. He actually served multiple functions within the company because he's a very smart guy without being an intellectual snob about it.
The first time I met him was in the restroom at work. He walked up to urinal next to the one I was using and casually took a piss. Now there were seven other urinals to choose from and we were the only two people in there.
Suddenly he rips this huge fart. You know, the kind that shake the floor beneath your feet. Anyway, it was my first day, so I had no idea who he was, since he'd been on vacation during my hiring process.
"Fuck, how long have you been saving that one up?" I laughed.
"Since the staff meeting." He confided, chuckling. "I let a few silent ones go during the meeting, but they weren't particularly toxic."
Still laughing a bit, I went to the sink to wash my hands and Andrew was right on my heels. Immediately I got sense that he was going to try something. Its happened before.
"You must be Craig". He said, smiling at me in the mirror while washing his hands.
"Yeah, I just started today." I smiled back.
After drying our hands, we shook and again Andrew twisted up his face and let another one rip. Again, it was loud as hell and I busted out laughing.
"Dude, you should have that checked out. I think you may have blown a gasket on that one." I smiled.
"Yeah, fucking breakfast burritos. I've gotta start eating better." He said, looking me up and down. "Anyway, I'm Andrew Wyndham. Your new boss."
My jaw dropped.
Seeing the expression on my face Andrew just chuckled, ushered me out of the bathroom and into his office.
We had an instant rapport. We just seemed to click. And before I knew it, I was managing my department while he moved up to Chief Financial Officer. My department still fell under his aegis, so I continued to be directly under him.
He really took me under his wing, explaining everything that he did and why he did it that way. I listened and learned, absorbing almost everything. Andrew seemed to enjoy having me as his protege almost as much as I enjoyed him being my mentor.
Every time we interacted with each other he made a point of putting his arm around my shoulder and dragging me into his office or where ever he happened to going at the time.
In all honesty, I had a bit of crush on Andrew. Just watching him run a meeting or simply dealing with another employee gave me such a hardon. But I kept those thoughts to myself for obvious reasons.
For the first eighteen months that I worked there, the only image I masturbated to was the one of Andrew that I kept in my mind. Sure he was at least a decade and a half older than me, but he was still hot.
At about six foot two, he was extremely fit. Devastatingly handsome and always very sure of himself. You could see his confidence in the way he moved. In a suit, his body is utterly enthralling, but on the few occasions that I'd seen him jeans and a t-shirt, I marvel at his magnificence. The man was truly a god.
Eventually, when I left the company, it was Andrew who brokered the deal for me and my co-author to sell of our software product to the highest bidder. And that deal put us both on easy street.
Andrew was a ruthless negotiator and took nothing for himself but a thanks for his efforts. It was the art of the deal that fed his ego. Besides he was already richer than me and my co-author, several times over.
When the deal was done he patted me on the back and said, "You don't ever have to work again for the rest of your life." And he was certainly right about that.
I genuinely loved Andrew. And I'm sure the feeling was mutual.
When I moved from the Midwest out to the west coast, he came out several times to help me flesh out the plans for my new house. That was about five years ago.
So when I got the call about his upcoming nuptials I was a bit surprised, but certainly glad to hear from him. We chatted about this and that for a while, then he told me about his new fiancee.
"Well, what did you do with the last one?" I chuckled into the phone.
"Well, you know, sometimes, these things just run their course. She got a pretty good settlement." He laughed. "Now down to brass tacks, how soon can I expect you? You'll stay at the house of course."
"Well how soon, is soon?" I inquired.
