Hi everybody, Kathy here again. So here's the thing—I'm not gonna write things in order like Steve did. I'm just gonna tell you random stories, whatever pops into my head on a day I feel like writing. I started with my 'ass virgin' story, partly because I love telling it but mostly because of that big story on the news the other day about Kim Kardashian's big fat ass on the cover of that magazine. Seeing that got me thinking about asses. That girl's freaky looking isn't she? And she shined herself all up which made it even freakier. I'm sure they photoshopped the shit out of it though—that little tiny waist looked like she was wearing an invisible corset or something.
So anyway, when I told you about Ronnie and Davie fucking my ass I mentioned the UPS guy. He's real cute, with sorta reddish hair and a trimmed beard. He's shorter than Ronnie, and has big muscular legs, like he rides a bicycle or something. Nice sparkly eyes, and he's just real nice. You know how some people are just real nice and it just sorta radiates off them? Steve's like that too.
So his name's Richard, but his friends call him Dicky. I don't know if you spell it with a 'y' or an 'ie' so I'll go with 'y' I guess. He comes to the house quite a bit, because Ronnie has to order stuff sometimes for his jobs. I started flirting with him because he's cute and he picked right up on it. We must be at the end of his route because Ronnie's home sometimes when Dicky comes, and Ronnie saw me flirting real bad with him one time.
"Don't get him in trouble honey," Ronnie said. "That company's really strict with their people, and it's a good job. You don't wanna mess it up for him. You know a guy'd have a hard time sayin' no to you."
I kept that in mind, and tried to not go to far with it, but you know me when it comes to sex—I get kinda carried away sometimes. Pretty soon I was answering the door in my underwear. And then one time I was all sweaty from doing yoga when I saw him pull up, so I just went to the door like that. Here's the thing though—I do yoga naked most of the time.
He sorta froze when he saw me, standing there with nothing on, all shiny from the sweat. Kinda like Kim Kardashian now that I think about it, except my ass doesn't look like a cartoon. So Dicky's just standing there and finally he says something.
"Kinda warm out today," he says, all cute like.
