A Magnificent Bastard

The buyout, the stock option payoff, the golden exit -- everybody says that it's a moment when dreams come true, but nobody says that your dreams die in the process. Jeremy sat diagonally from me at the conference table, looking like he wanted to skip the rest of the day and get to the drinking. He was never one for wearing ties, much less suits, so having to be dressed up in the Google Manhattan offices wasn't doing him any favors. He looked stiff, uncomfortable, and when he looked at me, it was easy to see the sadness that went along with it.

"I guess we should've seen this coming, Jake."

"What? The money or the layoff?"

He winced at that. I just chuckled and continued.

"It makes sense, you know. Google knows more about their customers than any of us do. Dinosaur like me would be redundant around here. Can't argue with the logic, and can't argue with the cash. I'll be ok, J-one."

He smiled at the nickname, "Are you sure you won't stay? I'll miss working with you."

"What? And be another director something or other? Honestly, I need to step away. Been doing this too long and need a break to clear my head."

"Yeah, I can see that. God, sometimes I wish I could do that. But, my contract's a bit different ..."

"Yeah, now it's your turn to keep my promises. Don't look so fucking sad, man! We did good. We built a company, sold it, got the brass ring. We should be on top of the world."

"I'm just going to miss everyone. It's never been about the money. It's always been about the team. The smartest people in the room ... The magic ... it's all dead with all of you gone."

"If that's what you want, I suspect your grad school will take you back. Pick your doctorate back up. Plenty of smart and poor people there doing nothing but being smart and poor.""

"You've always been a bastard, J-two."

"That's why you paid me. Face it, J-one, now you're just getting sentimental. We created something. We cashed out. We all move on to the next thing. It's what we do."

We sat up as the conference door opened and a Google HR exec came in. "Sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Traeger. I've got your separation paperwork and just wanted to make sure it was all in order."

"Nothing to worry about. Let's do this."

The paperwork didn't take that long: standard non-disclosure and non-defamation acceptance along with severance package. The package that they had put together was ... well, it was pretty respectable. I had talked to other colleagues who had gone through some kind of executive layoff and heard their stories of golden parachutes. It was one thing to hear the stories. It was another thing to essentially see a vested stock option package with that many zeroes. After signing everything, Jeremy and I adjourned to the bar to have one last wake for our old company, now another cog in the Google behemoth. Jeremy got up to go use the bathroom and I pulled out my messenger to text Rachel.

>> "Hey, want to play hooky? I'm drinking at The Painswicke with Jeremy."

<< "Jake, it's 3 in the afternoon. I've also got aerials class later tonight."

<< "Oh, wait, why are you both day drinking? Congratulations or condolences?"

>> "Bit of both? That thing that might happen happened."

<< "Oh no! So you got laid off then?"

>> "Technically speaking we could not come to a mutual agreement. They offered a director position"

>> "but it was the same thing just w/ more politics. I turned it down and they eliminated my old job."

>> "and they cut me a nice big package as thank you and goodwill insurance."

<< "That sounds more like congratulations! Hey, I'm not going to be home until 7, but come over and we'll celebrate."

>> "See you then."

I closed the messenger as Jeremy returned. He smirked as he saw me put the device away.

"Giving Rachel the news?"

"Yeah, we have plans to celebrate afterwards."

"How's that going?"

"Oh, you know, we're taking our time. Letting things happen."

"You let moving to New York happen. Relocating for a woman is not what I'd call taking your time."

"It made sense when the Alphabet buyout was picking up steam. I was making all of these trips out to meet with you and Alexei, anyway ..."

"yeah, Jake, that's bullshit and you know it. We'd been working together remotely for three years and you were all Mr. West Coast, gloating over your perfect weather while we dug our sidewalks out from another blizzard, and then right after that December visit, you're coming over every two or three weeks, and six months later, you're shopping for apartments in Greenpoint. Those are not the actions of the man I knew. That Jake Traeger liked accumulating frequent flyer points."

"Well ..."

"Hey, don't let me shame you. If I had someone like Rachel waiting for me on the other side of the country, I'd move to. I'm not blaming you for your choice. I'm just saying, friend ... you guys have already taken a lot of time. This may be my, as you said, sentimentality talking but I'm in a mood to believe that shit isn't gonna last forever. You have to make the most of it while you got it."

"That's my cue to go then. Thank you, Jeremy. It's been a pleasure. Don't let the beast swallow you up."

"Fuck you for leaving, Jake. Goodbye."

I thought about what Jeremy was saying as I took the train over to my apartment in Brooklyn to get some things before heading up to Rachel's in the Bronx. When I moved, we had both decided that my getting a separate apartment was still wiser than us moving in together. We were both independent people, and it would take a little more time with each other before we decided on that next step. Still, since it took more than an hour to ride the train from my place to hers, we had settled into this pattern of taking turns staying over at the other person's place for several days. It was still like a long-distance relationship except separated by the New York subway system.

I had only been in this place in Greenpoint for three months and had barely unpacked or furnished it. It was habitable, but Rachel's was still more comfortable, and that's where we wound up spending a good deal of time. Still, I grabbed a small set of clothes, my mail, and my overnight bag and took the train to head back up to the Bronx.

I let myself in with the spare key she gave me. It was now 5:30. The apartment still made me think of that winter weekend nine months ago, and now it was bathed in the golden light of a late fall afternoon. I rummaged in Rachel's cupboards, pulled out a tumbler and her bottle of Highland Park, then poured myself a drink and lay back on her couch and thought to myself "... now what?"

Rachel came in two hours later, carrying her gym bag and her mail, dressed in her workout clothes. She still looked beautiful, even when grubby and sweaty. Her leggings accentuated her long, graceful legs, now looking toned and sturdy with her recent silks workout. The Bronx was well into its gentrifying phase and there was no surer sign of that than an acrobats gym opening up in her neighborhood, taking the space of an old abandoned car garage. Her brown-red chestnut hair was growing out from its earlier shorter phase and now bound in a small ponytail. Rachel was talking on a Bluetooth headset, but her lovely sapphire blue eyes shone at me as she came in. Then she smoothly tapped her wrist to end the call and pull the headset from her ear as she switched off from work mode.

"Jake, sweetheart. So tell me what happened."

"Oh, you know, as I said in the text, I got let go. Google was always more interested in our technology than our people. Most of my team's gotten folded into their Partner Technology group already, and there isn't room for two Vice Presidents. So, when they offered me the choice of what was, essentially, a demotion or to get laid off with a tidy severance package, I took the money.

"So, this is ...," she said as she started walking to me "... congratulations?"

"Feels weird saying that to someone who's unemployed, doesn't it?"

"But not so weird to someone who now has the freedom to do something new." She settled into my lap and just put her arms around my shoulders.

"Yeah, now I'm trying to figure out what that is."

"Must be hard. Getting what you want. How much are you getting, anyway?"

"Well, it's complicated, and I should really talk to an accountant. But, between the severance that was in the contract for the next six months, and the vested options that I got out of the deal, it's maybe ... $5 million?"

"Oooh, maybe that's enough to buy the tiny violin that's playing for you right now."

Her smile, of course, said otherwise, but I still chuckled. "It totally is. I've been working a salary for someone or other for almost thirty years. You're right in telling me to be brave and do my own thing, but I still don't know what that is."

Rachel just smiled and kissed me softly on the lips, then my chin, then my jaw, then she whispered.

"Maybe I can help take your mind off of it for a bit?"

"I think that will help."

She loosened my tie and undid the top button of my collar as she started kissing down to my collarbone. "God, Jake, I love seeing you in a tie. You need to wear these more often."

"How much do you like it?"

"Let me show you."

Rachel unbuttoned my shirt as I undid the tie, but left it in my collar, and she kept kissing her way down my chest as my shirt parted. Then there was the sound of the zipper followed by the feelings of her warm fingers wrapping around my eager cock.

"Mmmm, you do know how to take a fellow's mind off his problems."

"And you know how to show a girl a bit of appreciation." She kissed the side of my shaft and then her nimble tongue swirled over me as she took me into her hot, sensual mouth. I sat back and let the shivers run up my spine, watching Rachel's ponytail sway as the lady went to work. She was good, and soon she had me fully stiff. Rachel had told me before that this was a fantasy of hers, to come home from a day of work and just treat herself to sucking on her lover's cock, and I was more than happy to oblige. I ran my hand through her rich chestnut hair, and then caressed her ears, her jaw and her neck. Rachel, in return, shifted from sucking me to letting her tongue dance along the side of my shaft. I leaned forward to tug at her workout top, but then felt Rachel's fingers push mine away as she stopped sucking me for a moment, and pulled back, then looked me in the eye, and slowly peeled her top off. Then there she was flushed and topless, letting me feast my eyes on her perfect, creamy breasts and hardened nipples. I cupped her face with one hand while letting my other hand glide over her left breast. I looked down at her kneeling below and I said, "ok, you like this tie?"

She nodded and an eager smile spread across her face in what looked like new anticipation as I pulled the tie from my collar and wound it around my hand.

"Stand up," I said to her, "take your leggings off."

Rachel's eyes were lidded with lust as she stood up and obeyed, lifting her hands into her waistband, and then dropping her workout leggings in one smooth motion, revealing her flushed and bare pussy to me.

"Turn around," I said, "hands crossed behind your back."

She obeyed this too, and presented her hands crossed at the small of her back, just above the glorious heft of her firm, peach-shaped ass. Rachel sighed as I ran my hand over her flesh, admiring the roundness of her ass, and the glistening wetness of her aroused pussy. I stood and ran a finger over her moist folds and then I draped my tie over her wrists and asked, "You always want me, don't you? do you trust me?"

"Yes," she whispered, "yes, I do."

"Good girl."

Now just like when I practiced ...

I tied the silk around her wrists, cinching it so her arms were held fast together. Then I wrapped my right arm around her waist and used my left hand to pull her around, turning her to face me again. I got up close so my cock brushed up against her pussy and my face was inches away from hers.

"You've been very good about making my day better," I said, "but now, I'm going to take you. Use you. Satisfy myself on you. Are you ready?"

I let my shaft graze her vulva as I said this, teasing her, feeling her growing wetness. Then I sat back down, turned her back to face me on the couch, and slid my tongue between her legs, and I heard her take in an excited breath.

"Yes."

I could feel her squirming as I ran my tongue and lips over her aroused petals, knowing that she wanted to grasp me with her hands, but couldn't. After making sure that she was good, wet, and ready, I stopped and looked at her and said.

"Spread your legs and come to me."

With her arms tied behind her back and straddling my lap, I pulled Rachel to me, and my hard, erect cock. As I felt her lips parting over me, I could hear her sighing passionately. With one hand gripping her waist, and another holding her shoulders, I pulled her down, impaling this tight young body of hers. We had talked about doing this sort of light bondage play before, with Rachel dropping heavy hints about how she liked being told what to do, and how she loved it when I pinned her arms and had my way with her. It wasn't something that I had gotten into before with past lovers, and so I wasn't sure or confident in this, but I had to say that this was off to a promising start.

"Oh, Jake, yes. Yes, darling, fucking fuck me. Have your way with me. Treat me like your slut."

I watched Rachel's round, beautiful breasts quiver with each slam of my hips, her nipples fully extended and erect. I wrapped my lips around one and pulled her closer to me so that she could rest all of weight on me as we both leaned back into her couch. Soon, I could hear her voice rising in pitch, and feel a quiver in her pussy as the inevitable approached. I broke from my nipple teasing and whispered back into her ear.

"You like this don't you? Being my slut? Knowing how much you turn me on just walking through your door? How much I think about fucking you every day?"

"Oh, yes, Jake. Tell me how much you like fucking me. Tell me how fucking hot I am ... FUCK! Oh, yes, right there. That's it! That's fucking it!"

I felt her hips rolling now as she leaned away again, leaning into my hands crossed behind her back, as she just ran the length of her G-spot over my cock, letting the ridges of my veins and my shaft ripple around her trigger points as she succumbed to her first orgasm. I slowed down, slowly dragging my cock in and out of her as I just stretched her bliss out a little longer. Then as Rachel caught her breath, I sped up again, giving her tiny bursts of pleasure as I let my own arousal build. Her short yelps punctuated each stroke. I reached up and palmed her breasts, feeling the stiff nipple between my fingers, then I kissed the side of her neck again as I pulled her back towards me and then flipped us over so I was now on top of her, her helpless bound form crushed against the sofa cushions. She yelped with delight at that and crossed her legs across my back. Getting close. Almost. Almost.

Then there it was. The tingle, the heat, the familiar numbing bliss, and then the juicy explosion as I came and our comingled fluids bathed us in succulent pleasure. I released my grip on Rachel's body, and rolled off of her, feeling my cock get released from her twitching, flooded pussy. She looked up at me with a sweaty, happy smile, and I leaned forward and cupped her face in my hand and gave her a long tender kiss.

"Thank you," I said.

"Oh my pleasure," she said in between kissing me back. "I've been wondering when you'd actually do that."

"Do you need me to untie you?"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything and spoil the moment, but ..." Rachel pulled her hands apart herself, holding my tie, which had come undone at some point in our fucking. She gave me this endearing smile, and then broke into this laugh and I laughed along with her.

"You need to study your knots, boy scout," she said as she pushed herself up and trotted off briskly to the bathroom. She called behind her, "but points for trying!"

Later, after we had both washed up and changed into our evening clothes, I couldn't help but look at the pile of mail on Rachel's kitchen table and notice a vividly blue envelope with silver ink.

"That looks like a fancy invite."

Rachel's voice echoed from the bathroom. "Oh, that? yeah. It's from my friend, Megan."

"The name sounds familiar."

"I have talked about her before. You remember the Megan who was hosting that New Year's party six years ago? That Megan."

"Oh ... that New Year's party. Your best friend for forever."

Rachel emerged from the bathroom now, her hair out of her ponytail, brushed and blowdried into a lustrous sheen. Rachel picked up the invite and looked at it wistfully as she continued. "Sister from another mother. We were roommates in college, and then shared an apartment in our junior and senior years. We lived above these two other guys who rented the first floor unit, Mal and Ian, and we'd have some building parties where all of our friends would wander in and out of both of our places. Those were some wild years. We'd always have some excuse to party, and it kept going with, like, Megan's epic New Year's bashes, but after graduation Mal moved away to go for grad school. Ian saved up a bunch of cash and did the backpacker thing for a year. I stuck around for a bit, but then moved to New York. Four winds...""

"Anyway, two years ago, Megan and her husband Alan found this private lodge that you could rent up in the mountains: five bedrooms, grand kitchen, pool tables, jacuzzi tubs, ten minutes to three different ski areas. Fancy pants. We thought it'd be a nice thing to do just for us to revive old times again, so we all pitched in to rent it for a long weekend. We had so much fun that Megan was talking about making it a new tradition. I guess this is it."

"Huh," I said, nodding, "are you going to go?"

Rachel looked at the invite and then looked at me. "Haven't decided yet, but I don't have to decide now. I do have to get dinner, though. You gave me an appetite."

We went out for dinner at this neighborhood Brazilian place, one of those spots where the waiters walk around with meat on skewers and you can eat as much as you want while washing it all down with a house red that has no name.

"So," I asked after we got settled, "how was your day?"

Rachel smirked and brushed her hair back from eyes and said, "fine, you know. I didn't get laid off or get a $5 million payout, but I did get a client to approve our new adaptive advertising strategy. So it's going to be fun to get that project going finally. And I learned a new aerial move from Reggie at the gym: a saddleback straddle into reverse corkscrew"

"That sounds like a sex position, except complicated."

"They all are, but it's fun. I like feeling stronger, and I like making progress."

"And I think you like Reggie."

She smiled and looked down shyly. "Jealous?"

"No, just teasing. I like seeing you blush."

"Well, you're good at doing that, too, but you're not wrong about Reggie. It's fun having him coach me, and I like how he holds me when he's trying to teach me a new move. Nice strong hands. But it's probably just going to be a little gym crush. Those are fun to have. God, it's such a nice difference talking to you instead of Josh. He'd freak out if he knew I had a crush on someone, even if it was a tiny little one like this."

Josh was Rachel's ex. It was a bad relationship, and she was happy to be out of it. It's been a year now since they broke up, but sometimes she picked at those memories like a scab.

"Did he like doing Megan's ski cabin thing?"

She looked up again with a bit of fire in her teeth. "You know what? I made him not come. It was after we had some big fight where Josh blew up at me about something that I don't even remember. So I told him that I was going out west to see my folks, and we'd talk about it after he calmed down. I didn't even post any photos from that weekend on social media because I didn't want him to see if I was having any fun, and I'm pretty sure Josh would've flipped out at pictures of me in a hot tub with Mal and Ian. Anyway, I came back from that trip all ready to dump him, but then he had done this really sweet welcome home package with, like, roses and champagne and he had done all of this thinking and he was ready to change and make a real go of everything. Really swept me off my feet, and I was a fucking sucker. He proposed a couple of months later as another grand gesture of commitment, and then a few months after that he punched me, and that's when I finally dumped him."