A Wal on the Wild Side

"...and for those just joining us, you're listening to the Arnie Crew Show here on WKTX Talk Radio," the twenty-five-year-old woman said into the microphone. "I'm Stormy Knight, sitting in for the ailing Arnie Crew. Our guest tonight has been Crystal McKay, known to many of you as the First Lady of Adult Video."

Stormy smiled at the tall fortyish redhead sitting across from her at the console. Almost twice her age, Crystal was dressed in jeans and a low cut white T-shirt. A shirt that barely concealed the 40-inch breasts beneath it. Written in bright red across her mammoth mounds was the name of her video company, Velvet Nights.

"We'll be right back for the call in portion of our show after a break for News and Weather," she ended as she looked up at the 'On The Air' sign over the control booth and watched in flicker off.

"And we're clear..." called a voice from the control booth.

"Well I think it's gone well so far," Stormy said as she took off her headphones. "I hope you're enjoying yourself, Ms. McKay."

"Honey, I'm having a ball," the former porn star grinned, "but what's with this Ms. McKay crap, the name is Crystal."

"Okay, Crystal it is," Stormy said. "That's a beautiful name by the way. I think it suits you very well."

"And I have to say you have an interesting name as well," Crystal commented. "Is that just an on air persona or did your parents actually name you that?"

"Well my mother actually named me Rachel," Stormy explained. "It was my dad who gave me the Stormy tag. Seems the night I was born happened to coincide with the granddaddy of all storms, at least in the five counties. As I grew older, my personality seemed to be more in line with Stormy than Rachel and the name just sort of stuck."

"Well I'm going to use this little break to powder my nose," Crystal said as she took off her own headphones and stood up.

Stormy didn't have to look up to know that every guy in the studio had just turned to look at Crystal as she walked out of the booth. A man would have to be blind not to notice her as she walked by. Still, they didn't have to go about it like a bunch of high school sophomores.

As she took a sip of her coffee, she kept a careful eye on the wall clock that showed that they were back on in eight minutes. She had to admit, so far, the show was going pretty good. A lot better than she ever thought it would be when she came in this afternoon and learned who tonight's guest was going to be.

* * * * * * *

"Afternoon guys," Stormy called out as she walked into the bullpen and dropped her carry bag on the break table.

As usual, she got little response from the half dozen members of Arnie's Crew, as the inner staff of the radio show was known. They were all crowded around the television set in the corner, totally involved in what they were watching.

"It's either the cartoon network, or some trailer park talk show trash," Stormy thought as she poured herself a cup of coffee.

No matter, not even the juvenile antics of this bunch were going to bother her today. Not when Jack Russell, the show's executive producer had called her early this morning and told her that Arnie was sick and would she like to host his show tonight. Arnie Crew had one of the top rated radio shows in the tri-state area, and although he was known to go over the edge more than not, his fans felt he could do no wrong.

Stormy was speechless. She had been after Jack to give her a chance on air for months, and each time he had put her off with vague promises. The short haired blonde was even more shocked when Jack had told her that Arnie himself had suggested that rather than round up one of the usual guest hosts, they give her a chance.

Given Arnie's reputation, Stormy would've thought that he would have suggested that the way for her to get in front of the mike would be for her to first take care of his mike. At least those were the signals she was getting from him.

Stormy had started at WKTX fourteen months ago after three years at a small radio station back in Ohio, working as a sort of Jill of all trades. With that experience under her belt, coupled with her degree in communications, she'd hoped to get a chance to show what she could do.

The twenty-four-year-old hadn't been at the station a month when Arnie had laid down the law. This was the big leagues here in New York, he had told her. No matter how good she had been with the hog reports or whatever it was she had reported back in the sticks, it wasn't going to cut it here.

Of course if she wanted a little help, well then Arnie was always willing to help. It was the price of that help that she objected to. Maybe he wasn't the prick she thought he was after all.

So excited had she been, Stormy had hung up after saying yes. She'd done it so fast that she had forgotten to ask who tonight's guest was. No matter, she would find out soon enough.

"What's so interesting guys," Stormy asked as she carried her coffee over to the other side of the room, "the Coyote finally catch up to the Roadrunner, or is it mother's who sleep with their teenage daughter's boyfriends again?"

Realizing that she was standing just behind them, two of the Crew moved out of the way to let her see the television screen.

"Oh gross," Stormy exclaimed as she took in the image on the screen. "This is a low even for you guys."

On the 19-inch screen, a twenty-something-year-old strawberry blonde was sucking off a very well endowed black man. Standing behind her, an equally equipped older white man was driving his cock in and out of her shaved pussy.

"I can't believe you people would run something like this in the workplace," Stormy said in an angry voice. "I've been a good sport about a lot of the things that go on around here, but this time I'm going to have to say something to Jack."

"Hold on a second," Tim Hill, the head writer said as he stepped in front of the small crowd. "Before you fly off the handle, I have to tell you that this is work-related."

"This is work-related?" Stormy said unbelievingly. "I can't wait to hear this one. And I don't want to hear any of that crap about morale building or anything like that."

"You don't know, do you?" Tim asked.

"Know what?" Stormy replied.

"She doesn't know," he turned and said to the rest of The Crew, who all seemed to be sharing a secret joke.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Stormy said, now getting more than a little angry.

"Stormy," Tim said with a shit-eating grin on his face, "I'd like you to meet tonight's guest."

At that, all of The Crew moved out of the way, giving the five foot four young woman an unrestricted view of the screen. On which was a close-up of the black man coming all over the girl's face.

"Stormy Knight, I'd like you to meet Crystal McKay," Tim continued, barely managing to keep a straight face.

"You've got to be kidding!" Stormy said exasperated as she watched Crystal lick the come off her lips with a nimble tongue.

A quick trip to Jack Russell's office proved that Tim hadn't been kidding. Arnie had personally booked Crystal McKay on his show. Evidently she was appearing at some local strip club this weekend and he had promised her an appearance to publicize it.

"Well if you'd rather not do the show after all," Jack had said, "there's still time for me to make a few calls and get another host."

"No, I'll do it," Stormy said, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing her turn it down.

Once down the hall and out of sight, she felt so angry that she wanted to slam the wall with Arnie's head. He had set her up. It was his way of getting even with her for not responding to his come ons. Better yet, if she had backed out of it, she could never bother him and Jack about getting some on airtime again.

Well she would show them she promised herself. She didn't care if this Crystal McKay, or whatever her name was, stripped and started blowing the studio audience. She would remain a professional all the way. Then, the next time there was an opening in one of the radio spots; they'd be hard pressed not to give her a chance.

* * * * * * *

"We're back in 30 seconds."

Stormy took a deep breath and cleared her throat.

"Welcome back to the Arnie Crew Show," she began in her best radio voice. "I'm Stormy Knight, sitting in for an under the weather Arnie Crew. Our guest tonight has been Crystal McKay, former adult actress and now CEO of Velvet Nights Video. Welcome back Crystal."

"Thank you, Stormy," Crystal smiled.

"And since I know so many of you have been waiting, we're going to open the phone lines and take some questions for our guest. One thing to keep in mind folks. This is the Arnie Crew Show and we know from time to time callers have been know to get a little out of hand. Especially when we have such a lovely guest as the lady sitting across from me. So we're going to be running tonight on a five second delay. That way, the little man in the control booth with his finger on the button can keep the FCC happy and us on the air."

Stormy had to think that the finger on the button was going to be very busy over the next half-hour. Arnie's fans had never been bashful about saying the first thing that popped into their empty little heads.

"Well now that we've made the lawyers happy, let's take our first call."

As Stormy looked at the monitor screen and read the information the booth was flashing on the callers, she hoped that Arnie was listening to the show tonight and choking as his little joke backfired. Not only was she doing a great job, but she was actually finding herself liking Crystal.

It had been twenty years since the former Porn Star had made that video The Crew had been watching. Instead of the cheap slut Stormy had expected when she stepped into the studio, she met instead a 43-year-old businesswoman who knew exactly what she wanted out of life. A woman who made her own decisions and never looked back.

"Okay we have John from the west side," Stormy said as she read from the monitor. "Go ahead, John."

"Crystal, I just want to say I think your movies are the greatest," the middle aged voice said. "How come you stopped making them?"

Crystal smiled and began what Stormy was sure was a well-used answer.

"Well, John, there are a number of reasons why I retired from the business," she began, "at least that aspect of it. But basically it was just a matter of it being time to move on to something different."

Stormy grinned at the non-answer.

"On line two we have Tim from downtown," Stormy said as she hit a button that disconnected John and put Tim through.

"Crystal, you have the biggest tits I've ever seen," he began as Stormy could almost hear the censor's beep in her head as Tim's words went out on the air a few seconds later. "Are they real?"

Crystal laughed. Again it was obviously a question she'd heard many times before.

"Well Tim," the redhead replied. "I can understand your wondering about that, with all the breast enhancements you see on so many women these days. But I assure you, with the exception of a few fillings in my teeth, there's nothing on my body that I wasn't born with."

So it went on for the next fifteen minutes. Some calls had to be beeped, some were actually pretty intelligent. A rarity for the Arnie Crew Show, Stormy thought. Through it all, Crystal gave answers that were witty, sometimes informative and definitely entertaining. Stormy thought she would make a great talk show host herself.

"Crystal, I saw you dance in New York last year," the next caller said. "And I have to say you still have one fine body."

"Thank you very much," Crystal said with a touch of pride. "I do try to stay in shape."

"Crystal, I have copies of all your movies," one of the last callers said. "I think any guy would give his left nut to be with you. I love them all, except those dyke scenes. I don't know how you can do stuff like that."

"Well you know the old saying," the former actress said, "being bi means you have twice the chances of having a date for Saturday Night."

With that the call in segment of the show ended.

"I'd like to thank you all for joining us this evening," Stormy said as she wound up the program. "And I'd like to again wish Arnie Crew a get well soon. We all miss you Arnie."

The 'On The Air' sign went off for the last time and Stormy gave a sigh of relief. She almost choked at the end wishing Arnie a get well soon. Just before airtime, she'd found out that Arnie wasn't really sick. He was just shacked up for a long weekend with two of his groupies.

"I'd like to personally thank you for appearing on the show," Stormy said to Crystal as they rose from their seats. "I know you would've rather have appeared with Arnie instead of a third stringer like me."

"Honey, trust me, you're no third stringer," the tall redhead said as she stood to her full five foot nine. "I'd rather be interviewed by someone like you than a lowlife bastard like Arnie Crew any day. If it wasn't for the fact that he had the highest rated show in the city I wouldn't come within 50 feet of him."

Stormy smiled, both at the compliment as well as Crystal's assessment of Arnie Crew. She couldn't have said it better herself.

"Listen, before you go," Stormy said to Crystal as they walked out of the room, "would you like a cup of coffee or something?"

"That sounds fine, as long as we can get away from our audience," Crystal said, indicating the steady stream of wagging tongues that were following them down the halls. At five four with a 34B bust, the pixie haired radio host knew those stares weren't for her. Still, just for a moment, it was nice to imagine they were. Then the moment faded.

"There's a nice coffee shop around the corner," Stormy suggested, "with some private booths in the back."

"This is much better," Crystal said as they settled into the last booth in the row. "As much as I normally love all the attention, sometimes I do like a little privacy now and then."

"I guess it must be difficult at times," Stormy mused as she ordered two coffees from the dark-haired waitress. She couldn't help but notice that even the young woman standing in front of their table took a moment to look over Crystal's oversized breasts. "With all those things you talked about during the interview, Adult Film Star, an Internet Adult Video business, and going around the country dancing in clubs. You've got to be every guy's fantasy."

"I guess so," the older woman laughed. "And from some of the mail, quite a few women too."

"I guess so," Stormy said, remembering that Crystal had mentioned she was bisexual during the interview.

"Still, there are times when I really hate these things," Crystal said, indicating her large breasts. "It gets tiring after a while when people keep talking to your boobs rather than you."

"Well if you'd like to get rid of them for a weekend or two, I'd be happy to take care of them for you," Stormy said, glancing down at her own small breasts.

"I don't know why," Crystal said, "I think you have beautiful breasts."

Stormy blushed for a moment at the mention of her own mounds.

"Oh I've embarrassed you," Crystal said as she apologized. "I'm sorry. It's just that in most of the circles I travel in, conversations about breasts and other body parts comes pretty natural. Sort of like shop talk you could say."

"It's okay," Stormy said as their coffee arrived. "I'm not embarrassed - really. It just took me by surprise, that's all."

"I'm glad." Crystal said as she took a sip of her cup.

"If anything, I'd love to travel in your circles for once. Be the center of attention for a night. Step outside the limits that everyone expects me to stay in."

"Do you really mean that?" Crystal asked, her eyes opening wide.

"Yes."

"Well, I'll tell you what," the older woman said as she leaned forward and spoke in a quiet conspiratorial tone. "I'm having a little get together later tonight over at the Grand Hyatt. A party for people in the industry to celebrate a new video line we're coming out with. If you're really curious, you're welcome to come."

"I'd love that," Stormy gushed.

Crystal just smiled.

Pulling her coat tight against the night chill, Stormy stepped out of her cab in front of the Grand Hyatt. It had been a quick trip home from the radio station, just enough time to shower and change into something appropriate. Crystal had told her just to come up to Penthouse B and give her name at the door.

A sense of excitement, coming on top of the rush she still felt from the radio show, filled Stormy as she pressed the bell to Penthouse B. She wasn't sure what she expected behind the door. A few vivid images filled her imagination. Hordes of naked bodies rolling on the floor. Lines of women on their knees giving blowjobs. Or maybe even just a massive gangbang.

The door opened and she faced a tall muscular blond dressed in a form fitting black T-shirt and slacks. He looked her over for a moment and then asked if he could help her. Stormy felt a little intimidated by what she concluded must be a combination doorman and bouncer.

"I'm a friend of Crystal McKay," Stormy said, wondering if she was about to find herself tossed out on her ass.

"Oh yeah," the bouncer said in a voice that made her wonder about his sexual orientation. "She left word that a friend would be stopping by. Come on in, she's in here somewhere."

Whatever erotic fantasies Stormy might have had a few moments before, popped like a soap bubble when she stepped into the room. It looked like any other cocktail party. Maybe the women were a little more gorgeous, their outfits a bit more daring, but for the most part it was no different that the last party she attended at the station.

Taking a glass of champagne from one of the tuxedoed waiters, Stormy moved about the large room. Many of the men and women there were undoubtedly porn stars. Not that she would recognize any of them by sight. What really surprised her was the number of people she recognized from the sports world as well as the more conventional film industry.

"Excuse me," said a rather good-looking young man who came up to Stormy. "Weren't you in 'Star Whores - The Prequel?"

"Excuse me?" Stormy asked.

"Star Whores," he repeated. "Didn't you play Queen Imadildo?"

"Yeah, that was me," Stormy replied after thinking about it for a moment and deciding what the hell, why not have a little fun.

"Awesome," he said. "That was one truly awesome flick. I couldn't believe how you took on Obi Boni and his 14-inch lightsaber. Now that was acting."

"Thank you," Stormy said, almost afraid to wonder what she was supposed to have done with that 14 inches. "If you'll excuse me, I'm looking for a friend."

"Sure, I'll catch you later," he said as he moved off in search of other stars.

Stormy moved about a bit more, chatting with a few other people. She had to say she was having a good time.

"Stormy honey, there you are," she heard a familiar voice call out.

The twenty-five-year-old turned to see her hostess emerge from a crowd of beautiful men and women. Crystal was dressed in a very low cut red gown that displayed more than covered her ample breasts. In a room of beautiful women, all eyes turned to watch her entrance.

"I'm so happy that you came," Crystal said as she moved right up to the younger woman and kissed her cheek. "I do hope that you're enjoying yourself."

"Yes, it's been quite interesting to say the least," the pixie haired woman smiled.

"Well there are some people that you simply have to meet," Crystal said as she took Stormy's arm and led her through the crowd.

One of the people Crystal introduced her to turned out to be Craig Morgan, the actor who played Obi Boni. The dark-haired, six foot two twenty-nine-year-old, turned out to be as personable as he was handsome. During their brief chat before Crystal pulled her away to meet someone else, Stormy kept dropping her gaze down between his legs in search of the 14inch lightsaber. She felt a little embarrassed when she realized what she had been doing. It was almost as if she'd been one of the guys back at the station checking out Crystal's bust.