I could not shake that feeling that they had taken me to yet, because of either damn luck or maybe on purpose; they would not take me to that climax, that big one that I had felt building and building as they used me. They came several times, and I only had that one small climax. Needless to say, I felt that I had been cheated, not being able to achieve that climax that I had wanted and at the time felt that I needed so bad. I was glad that Sandy and Terry did not want to talk in the van; I had to sort this all out in my mind before I could say, “I do” to Peter. I kept wondering what that climax would have felt like and if Peter would be able to make me feel that way tonight on our honeymoon. Thinking about it again, I was not happy that I had to settle for my own manipulation of myself with my fingers just to get myself off. Yes, it worked (as it always does), and I did climax, but it was far from being the climax that I thought I was getting ready to have and that I knew that my mind and body honestly craved.
I was so fucking keyed up going over this in my mind over and over again on the way to the church that I felt myself fighting my own feelings, then on top of all that, knowing and feeling so damn wet between my legs did not help a bit. I’m no different that any other girl or bride, I thought of sex, but before right now it had always been with and about my boyfriend or, in this case, my husband-to-be. I really never dwelled on it like boys did; I had my moments, but today, right here, right now, my mind kept visualizing Terry and Charlie fucking me and how much I enjoyed sucking them off. When I admitted to myself that I had enjoyed sucking them off, I felt a shiver run through me as I guess I finally realized my honest feelings. Now, to top that off, I could feel and visualizes Terry’s and Charlie’s sperm slowly oozing out of me, which then made me hope that I did not stain my wedding dress. Oh no, thinking about all this was making my head spin and I am ashamed to admit it, was making me think of sex in ways that I had never thought of in the past. I could clearly smell my own breath and I could smell the sperm on it. I could only hope everyone else would not realize what that odor was and they would just think that it was bad breath. I thought it was a small price to pay to get those pictures from Terry. I also realized that I sort of had to keep kissing his ass (so to speak) until I had my hands on that envelope again. I found myself now fighting to keep my mind on Peter and my wedding day.
When we arrived at the church, the large parking lot was being filled. My father had hired valet service and there were these men hopping into a car as soon as it pulled up and emptied. They looked real classy, dressed in black pants, white shirts and red vests. It looked like Daddy hired a little army. Because I was wearing my wedding dress, I did not wish to be seen just yet, so we drove around to the back and parked. We had to walk through the courtyard to get the bride’s dressing room. As we walked up to it, I was seeing it for the first time from the courtyard, I saw that the sliding glass door and picture windows from the outside. They looked like a big mirror, I said to Sandy, “Is that the bride’s dressing room? It’s a good thing I got dressed before we got here!” Sandy said, “Yes, it is, but don’t worry. You could have run around in there naked and no one could see inside.” When we got to the church, Terry brought his camera and stuff into the bride’s room where he set two cameras up in the back in the corners out of the way. Once he started them, he told us they would record the preparation and that we better not say anything that we did not want recorded. He told us that he could edit some things out, but to be safe remind the other girls about it also. He then told us he had to run back to the studio for a few minutes but he would be back before I had to walk down the aisle because he had to film that also.
The bride’s room was set up rather nice; it was a big room with two couches, hassocks, three tables and four straight-back chairs, as well as some lounge chairs. It had everything that a waiting bride could want or need -- including a TV and VCR to help pass the time. There wasn’t much for us to do since I was already dressed, Sandy did fix my hair again; I knew I should have put more hairspray on it, but Peter likes my hair this way (long and soft). Sandy told me I don’t know how many times that she didn’t understand how I could manage to get my hair all messed up in less than an hour. I wondered what she would have said if I told her that her brother had just raped me in his room. Well, it was rape, you know. I sure as hell did not want him or his friend to fuck me. The more I thought about it, I knew that it was a rape. Terry fucking took me against my will. Maybe I should call the police and make a report?
Sandy and the rest of my bridesmaids kept coming and going as I sat there lost in my thoughts sitting in on the couch with my feet up on one of the hassocks in front of the TV. Terry got back rather quickly and when he came into the room to set his cameras up, he handed me the envelope that he had promised. He whispered in my ear, “I trust you to keep your promise. All the pictures are here, including the ones I took an hour ago. No tricks; they are all yours. Peter will never see them unless, of course, you decide to show them to him.” He kissed me on the cheek and walked out. I looked at the clock and I still had 38 minutes to sit and wait. Sandy was popping in and out; the rest of the girls were doing the same. My parents came in and left, every one could tell that I was deep in thought. I am sure they thought it was the wedding and not what I was really thinking about. Peter’s parents came in, his mother could see I was thinking and she asked me if I was all right and I said yes, however she seemed to know something was wrong.
I was glad when she asked everyone to leave so we could talk a moment. Once the room cleared she sat down and asked, “Honey, you aren’t having second thoughts, are you?” Her question hit me hard. I was not even thinking about the wedding, I was so wrapped up in my mixed-up mind that Peter and the wedding just did not seem to rate what I was thinking about. I know that sounds crazy but now you can see just how screwed up my mind is. I told her, “Oh, no, I just need to be alone a bit. I’m fine. This is just a very big day and I am trying to just it all in. Could you ask everyone to leave me alone? I’ll come out when I am ready.” Mrs. Casey said, “You take your time, dear. Don’t worry about starting on time, in fact, it is customary for the bride to make everyone wait a bit, so you come out when you are ready.”
Peter’s mother went to the door and before she opened it she said, “Honey, the door has a lock on it. Would you like me to lock it so you can be alone, dear?” I turned, looked at her and said, “Yes, please. I won’t be long. Tell my dad it will be a little bit yet.” Mrs. Casey said, “Sure, take your time and don’t come out of here until you are ready.” She opened the door and the long hall was full of my bridesmaids and friends. Mrs. Casey locked and shut the door.
Almost instantly I heard a tapping on the sliding glass door behind me, I could see that Terry standing there holding a briefcase. I motioned for him to go away, but he kept tapping. I finally got up, unlocked the slider and said, “I want to be alone right now. Haven’t you done enough damage to me today? Can’t you just leave me alone?”
