Author's Note: This is a rewrite of a story that has already been published on Literotica, but with which I was never completely satisfied. I always felt it needed improvement. It never reached its full potential, and I finally decided to revisit it, edit and rewrite, and give it a good polishing. As usual, comments and feedback are always welcome and encouraged.
*
"Mike," came a voice at my office door one day, along with an authoritarian knock. It was the program Director of the school in which I was teaching. "Gotta sec?"
He came in before waiting for a reply, as we both knew he would. He sat down in the uncomfortable chair next to the door and crossed his legs in a phony attempt to appear collegial.
"How's it going?" he asked, trying to be sly and nonchalant. I matched his phony expression with one of my own. I knew he was going to order me to do something,
he
knew he was going to do it, so all I wanted was for him to get to the point and get the hell out of my office.
Still, he was my boss.
Don't antagonize the man who signs your contract
, I reminded myself. So, I bit my tongue.
"Hello, Dr. Morton. Not too bad," I said, trying to keep my tone neutral.
"Good, good! Look, Mike," he said, clasping his hands in front of him, trying to appear as if this was going to be gentle advice.
Here it comes
, I thought. Even though I knew what he was about to say, I tried to brace myself for it.
"I know it's difficult for you, being so young and all -"
I cringed. I couldn't help myself, and yet there it was. It was the way he
always
opened up a conversation. I mentally chastised myself for letting my face flinch as he said the words.
It wasn't easy being a young professor. When I say young, I mean
young
. I was always an overachiever; I got my Ph.D at 22 and began teaching immediately. This meant that I was barely older than my students at best, and quite often I was younger than they were.
There was never a meeting that went by when my age
didn't
come up. I was the youngest professor in the entire department of 50 faculty by fifteen years, and no one was going to let me forget it. Especially
this
asshole.
He continued, " - and you need to keep a distance from your students, but I'm concerned that you're not fulfilling your teaching and service obligations and
that
- " he paused, breaking out into a plastic smile " - is something I don't think we want to come up in your review."
Fuck
, I hated this asshole. In less than a minute, he had efficiently dismissed me as a colleague and threatened me with a bad tenure and promotion review. And I still had no idea what he was talking about.
"What kind of obligations am I not fulfilling?" I asked, choosing my words carefully but with genuine curiosity.
"Well," he drawled, eager to begin the laundry list of my shortcomings. "The students have said that you're not, well,
approachable
, and that perhaps you may be favoring the men over the women."
He lingered on that last phrase, making a deliberate, threatening point. I felt a sharp, sudden drop in my stomach. The Director's smile became wolfish. He didn't need to use the "S" word -
Sexist
- but it hung in the air like a thousand swords of Damocles.
I swallowed, my initial distaste for the Director's intrusion completely overwhelmed by a tidal wave of true, abject fear. To be a young,
male professor in an American university meant that you were walking on very, very thin ice. There were some departments who believed you were the
literal
root of all evil, just by your existence. It didn't take much for your career to be thrown into an incinerator with a single, unjustified allegation.
It was no secret that the Director didn't like me. He thought I was too young, but I'd had over a dozen, peer-reviewed published articles before I graduated with my doctorate, and getting me had been a coup for his program.
He
hadn't published anything in 30 years.
He enjoyed the prestige of hiring me, and was looking forward to the prestige of
firing
me.
Clear as mud, yes?
Inexperienced in the ways of faculty life as I was, I was got a crash-course in academic politics within weeks of starting my position. The Director, it turns out, had never wanted me as a faculty member, but the Search committee voted unanimously to bring me on board. His hands were tied, from a process perspective.
He
hated
the idea that he would have to see someone almost as young as his students act as his peer. Nevertheless, he could make a lot of great press for himself by promoting the new up-and-coming rising star in academia.
He figured he could have it both ways. He could gain all the press one day, and get rid of me for "being too young to be an effective professor" the next. It only made him more determined after I became a very popular teacher while continuing to publish peer-reviewed articles.
Sadly, I only came to understand that faculty politics was an ugly and secretive business
after
I accepted the position.
His voice rasped across my brain like sandpaper. "Also, you haven't done much service with respect to student organizations," he said, almost in a sing-song manner. It was a patronizing tone, as if he were scolding a small child. "As you know, part of the responsibility of being a tenure-earning professor is to offer support and guidance to our students in related activity."
At that, I relaxed little. My heart rate started to come down to a more normal pace as I processed what he was saying.
He had nothing
. I realized that there had been no student complaints, no disenfranchised students, no