Note: This is a totally true story, it happened to me, many years ago. I may have lost some detail over the years, but basically, it's almost exactly as it happened.
***
I was on a touring/budget kind of holiday, along the south coast of Spain.
Everything had gone okay, my motorbike had ran well with no trouble at all.
I hadn't been bothered by the Guardia, not once, even though the bike had completely illegal, racing megaphones fitted, rather than silencers.
Most evenings I camped, it hadn't been too difficult to find suitable spots.
Today however, I just could not find anywhere, and it was now getting somewhat late in the day.
Back in those days, 1964 to be precise, the stretch of coast along from Gibraltar to Torremolinos, was still completely undeveloped. Estepona was still a tiny fishing village, and even Marbella wasn't much more. The beaches simply went on, for mile after mile, with nothing and no one.
So, back to the trip.
I hadn't seen a building for some distance, then I spotted a long row of pine trees. A little path meandered through the trees, and down to the beach.
I rode the bike along the path, and parked up among the pines.
It was a warm still night, as it had been the past couple of weeks, so I thought that I might just as well get my sleeping bag, and kip right here.
...
There was a sharp nudge in my back. I came awake, expecting trouble, but I couldn't see a thing, what a with high power torch beam, shinning directly in my face.
A voice jabbered away in Spanish, far too fast for me to follow, I did speak some Spanish, but it needed to be spoken slowly, for me to understand.
The beam dropped from my face. It was then I saw the rifle butt, that had nudged me awake, and the Policia Local guy standing holding it. He wasn't rude, he wasn't angry, in fact he was quite pleasant.
After a bit conversation, back and forth, I gathered that it was against the law to sleep on the beach at night.
Extremely helpfully, he offered to take me to the nearest Pension Hotel.
So, following on my bike, and we hadn't actually gone far, when we arrived it this somewhat decrepit looking place. He waved a cheery "Adios, buenas Noches," and was gone.
In the scruffy reception, an old guy explained that he had no rooms left. Only one bed, in a shared dormitory. It worked out at the equivalent of two shillings and sixpence (twelve and a half pence) a night. There was no alternative but to take it, anyway, it was dirt cheap. He explained, the other occupants were still out, but I would find one untouched bed.
An hour later, snuggled under my sheet, and I was fast asleep. I had left one light, on at the far end of the room.
...
The door crashed open with a bang, followed by a gaggle of shouting and laughing. That's a good description really, a bunch of cackling geese, just about covered it!
Needless to say, I was rudely awakened.
I knew immediately, that they were as pissed as assholes.
Best keep your head down, I thought, best pretend you're asleep.
I soon sussed, that they were Australian, in fact, a whole gang of them, all girls!
Now, I won't try putting on an Aussie accent, I can't.
The language being used was totally foul, and I'm no prude. It was like a dozen machine guns firing off - shit, fuck, bollocks, up yer ass, and so on.
I then made the mistake of taking a quick peak, to be confronted with all these gorgeous girls, ranging in age from maybe eighteen, to somewhere around twenty five. And bloody hell! They were all in various states of undress, some in a bra and panties, one or two even with nothing at all.
Disaster struck! I hadn't been sneaky enough.
"Hey guys, we've got another roomy over here!"
I heard footsteps approach, the edge of the sheet moved, and then a little face was peering in at me. A shriek, "It's a fella, an' I saw him taking a gander."
The next second, I'm laid there, in my underpants, the sheet snatched away.
The bed was surrounded by all these semi clad females, several swaying quite badly. And it was one of the latter, who literally fell on top of me.
Her hands grabbed my head. Her lips were planted on mine, none too gently, I might add. Her panty clad hips rubbed against me like crazy. She was like a sex starved, demented demon.