Awaened

It had been nearly a week after my own personal renaissance had started when I found myself nervously standing at the entrance of The Low End, a gay sports bar with drinks cleverly modeled after sports legends nicknames. The drink menu featured cocktails like "Mad Bum", "Berry Zito", "Baby Bull" -- all of which were lost on me, but seemed to delight first-timers as they scanned the list.

"Miss, ID?", the doorman said, and judging from the height of his eyebrows, what must have been the second time. As I made my way through the doorway, I was presented with what amounted to a microcosm of the country: average straight white guys, average gay white guys, some very cute K-popish Asian guys, a lesbian couple that looked like average straight white guys, a single Black guy and two tall naked dudes with their penises covered by some sort of sparkly sock thing.

"Melyssa! Back here!" I heard Kenny's voice cut through the obstreperous lamina of house music, alpha-boisting, sports cheers, and the two girls that were like, totally named "Ashley", who were finding that maintaining an overly-affected vocal fry with adequate volume to be an unworkable aggregate.

"Oh my God you guys, this is Melyssa, she attended my class last weekend! Hey baby! Come here!". Kenny hugged me as he introduced me. "This is Jason, Nate.." - the rest drowned out by the sudden vociferous agreement from the bar patrons that what was happening on the televisions was extremely beneficial.

No sooner had I sat down when our little group was joined by a couple that almost required their own Wikipedia page. Kenny, of course, jumped up and greeted them as if this reunion had been years in the making, "Cassidy and Sin-Joon, this is -- oh you know everyone, what am I doing? Oh wait, you don't know Melyssa, this is my new friend Melyssa!"

Cassidy sat next to me and smiled, "hey, you can call me Cass, and this is Sin-Joon".

"Nǐ hǎo", she said, shaking my hand.

"Oh hey, it is so nice to meet you guys", I said smiling. I was praying Sin-Joon wouldn't take me to task with Chinese, which I understood well enough but felt too shy to speak outside of my parent's home.

"By the way, I'm loving your skirt!", Cass said, feeling the edge of it with her fingers, "Oh this is nice! Did you get it at Jean-Lucs?"

"Yeah thanks! I did get it at Jean-Lucs, he has such amazing clothes I could go through a paycheck there easily!"

"Same! Hey, did you order a drink? Baby " - to Sin-Joon - "Can you get me that one I had last week that I loved!".

Sin-Joon just shrugged.

Nate: "Order the Big Unit!"

Kenny, laughing: "Oh my God what is the Big Unit?"

Name: "It's Vodka-based but has sparkling wine, it's named after Randy Johnson".

Kenny: "Jesus, and someone thought he needed a nickname? Randy Johnson IS the nickname. God, it's like his parents were planning him a career in porn! I bet they were disappointed when the only balls he played with were on the baseball field! Jesus!"

Nate: "Sin-Joon, this round's on me " - handing her a twenty as she started for the counter - "Melyssa looks like she could use a Big Unit also"

Kenny: "I need a big unit, goddamit!"

Curt [whose intro I missed earlier]: "Kenny, please don't invoke the name of God in bar full of fags unless you are immune to lightening"

Kenny: "Oh, please! If Jesus didn't want me to be gay he wouldn't have put a clit in my asshole!"

So this kept up for a while, leaving me feeling drunk before I'd even as much as sipped my 'Big Unit'. Kenny, who had a much earlier start than the rest of us, attempted to fill in each other's history.

"Ok, so like, Melyssa is super-new to the city, she is literally from Kansas!"

Me: "I'm literally from Illinois"

Kenny: "And Sin-Joon and Cassidy, be patient with her because you are probably the first lesbian couple she has ever met!"

Cass: "Neither of us are lesbians"

Kenny: "I have to pee!"

So Kenny gave us a reprieve as Sin-Joon returned with two glasses, "Wait I need to get the others", she said, going back to the bar. Cass turned to me smiling, "Oh my God, Kenny is so drunk. He is really funny but, like, I'm kinda scared what he might say next, ya know?"

"Yes!", I said, "I almost hope he forgets I'm here!"

We clinked glasses and took a sip, not really toasting to anything in particular, but I was quite relieved to have already made a friend. Then the rapid-fire round table recrudessed, this time with orientation-indeterminable Curt leading the charge.

Curt: "This bartender is so much better than that Linda"

Cass: "Oh, she doesn't like me at all after I told her she needs to use Ginger Beer in a Moscow Mule, not whatever happens to be on tap"

Nate: "Is she that one that always wears the Metallica durag?"

Curt: "No, she's the one that looks like Hillary Swank"

Sin-Joon: "Who is Hillary Swank?"

Cass: "She was in 'Boys Don't Cry'"

"All the ones I know do!", Kenny sang out, as he sat plopped back down on his chair. "What are we talking about? What did I miss?"

As the drinks poured down, conversation became easier and easier, with everyone achieving a pretty good comfort level within an hour. Cass was so sweet -- but spoke so quietly I could barely hear her without really leaning in. I was a little worried about invading her personal space, but when I moved back she immediately made up the difference.

Topics jumped around all over the place.

Cass: "...no, it's fine- i'm actually a mix, part Jamaican, part spanish..."

Me: "... well, I grew up in the midwest..."

Cass: "...Sin-Joon is my friend, we aren't seeing each other..."

Me: "...not really, I mean, I've been so busy with work I haven't had time to meet anyone..."

Cass: "...BS in Psychology, which is nothing, I at least need a masters to do anything in my field..."

As we became more at ease, her hand would gently pat me on my knee, as if to really make a point, and I found I would touch her arm, something I didn't typically do, but felt like reciprocating in some way. As we talked more, laughed more, and drank more, her hand languished more.

The conversation, which started off so politely, replete with empathetic bumpers to make sure we stayed in the proper lane, that were coming off with each successive sip of our respective martinis. I leaned in more as we spoke, laughed...my hand continued to land on her forearm, hers periodically touching my knee, my thighs, until finally she was subconsciously stroking my leg.

I had the urge to kiss her, to lock her lips into mine...I had never, ever thought of a girl this way, at least not on any conscious level. I wasn't sure why I was now. Had I simply been predisposed to repress these types of feelings by conformity, by culturally-induced convention, by acceptable assimilation...? Whatever the reason, of the many things not on my "Are You Experienced" checklist, I needed to include crushes - of any kind.

I also became a little concerned with Sin-Joon, who we were now completely ignoring.

"So no boyfriends since you moved to SF?"

"Well...no boyfriends since I moved from my mother's womb", I said, laughing. Cass looked puzzled.

"Are you a lesbian?", as she asked this, I felt the warm of her hand on my bare leg leave.

"No, no...I mean...I don't think I am". Cass tried to stifle a laugh, "You don't think you are? OK, so like, you've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Are you afraid of commitment? What about people you've slept with, you haven't wanted to explore a relationship with any of them?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to share these intimate details of my life just yet, but at the same time, I felt as if I could trust her, and I felt compelled to share, to let her into my inner circle which consisted of me, my soul, and partly Kenny.

"Well...I mean...I haven't slept with anyone". She sipped her cocktail, nodding, then stopped.

"What the fuck NO", she almost exclaimed. Her hand was now firmly planted on my thigh.

"Oh girl..." she said, smiling warmly. "I'm so jealous! You are in for such a treat when you finally -- well, I mean, if you meet the right person. It could also be an unmitigraded disaster". Then she burst out laughing.

"Un-mitigraded!"

"Don't worry, I'll grade on a curve!" i said, laughing with her as I touched the contours of her arm.

Even as we laughed, I was aware of her hand moving up and down my thigh, caressing my skin.

"Don't fuck one of those morons with the backwards hat. Those dumbfuck alpha males in the backwards hats...", her eyes did a quick sweep of the room.

"Well, there's none of those in here, obviously. So...like, you're a virgin?", she was still in a state of disbelief. "Sorry...I'm nonplussed".

"Well, get plussed, because yeah, I'm a virgin", I insisted, as I slurped up the rest of my Big Unit.

"You're so lucky I'm not a guy...I'd fuck the shit out of you. Wait, no, first I'd eat you out. Have you ever had oral?"

I was too drunk to be shocked by the question.

"No, no...as a matter of fact, I just masturbated for the first time a week ago".

Her expression wasn't capable of generating any more surprise. Her hand went far up my thigh, under my skirt. "Jesus...I want to grow a dick and fuck you".

Was it the cocktails talking? Were we both this drunk? All I knew at this moment was yes, I, too wished she could grow a dick and fuck me.

"But I wouldn't be gentle. I'd thrust in and fill you right up". Her hand pressed against my thigh more firmly. She moved up as far as she could, until she was at that v that forms when seated.

"Would it hurt?" I asked furtively. She pressed her lips against my ears and whispered "yes".

"But...I'd make you cum", and with that, the back of her hand traced lightly against my panties, directly over my pussy.

"Yeah...I believe you would".

Kenny the bastard broke the spell, and was suddenly between us. "Hey, us girls need to talk! Jin-Yoo, get over here!"

"It's Sin-Joon, dumbass", Cass said amidst an eye-roll.

"Sin-Joon, you confuse the fuck out of me, you gorgeous girl!".

This would make more sense to me later when I found the gorgeous, luscious pony-tailed Sin-Joon had an equally beautiful cock between her legs.

We were both annoyed with Kenny, who could easily deflect even the most spurious salvos with his charm. He very much seemed like a hot celebrity in an otherwise cold city, with everyone recognizing him, and him basking in the apricity of his three square mile delineation of fame.

"Where's the bathroom?" I asked, getting some hand pointers in response, I started to make my way. I was dizzy, and not particularly graceful as I lumbered to the unisex bathrooms. I sat down, pulled down my panties, and felt for what I already knew had been my body's reaction to Cassidy's face, words, hands...I was soaked.

When I returned to the table, Sin-Joon and Cassity were slow dancing to "I Just Can't Get Enough". It surprised me to see someone this Chinese, this non-native, be so open and free. Her hands went down to Cass's waste, then to her ass. Sin-Joon was taller, wafer-thin, Cass was my height, perhaps shorter, thicker. They looked sexy, with Sin-Joon leaning into Cass's body, and moving slowly against each other to no particular rhythm other than their own, oblivious to the most cliched choice in the Depeche Mode catalog, they just melted into each other.

Suddenly Kenny's voice was in my ear. "Girl, you're definitely not ready to be the mayo in that sandwich", then he burst into his high-pitched Kenny laugh.

"What? Kenny why is everything about sex with you?"

"Because darling...everything is about sex".

"It's your sine qua non",

"Oh no you didn't just throw down some French on me!"

"You're right, I didn't; it's Latin".

"Oh".

I was feeling as if maybe I needed to retreat back to my apartment. I wanted to sleep. Masturbate. Sleep some more. Drink a gallon of water.

"Kenny, I need to go home. Tell Cassidy...that..."

"Tell me what", Cass was suddenly there with Sin-Joon. "What are you doing? Are you going home?"

"Yeah, I'm so sleepy."

"Oh really? Well that's too bad, I thought we'd bar-hop. But OK, I'll get you an Uber", she said, pulling out her phone.

"No, don't bother, I live like 2 blocks away.

"Oh, ok then we will get you home, come on", and with that she grabbed my hand with one and Sin-Joon's with the other, and we stumbled back to my apartment.

I awoke the next morning with a warm body wrapped around me. It startled me, but I was too groggy to be realistically concerned. I slowly pieced together the remnants of my last lucid thoughts of the previous evening, getting into the apartment, telling the girls goodnight and that I loved them both very much, the rest felt a little blurry. I wasn't sure if I had dreamt it or if it had actually taken place. I decided I'd figure that all out later, I needed the bathroom and aspirin.

I got out of Cass's embrace and a topless Sin-Joon -- one quick ephemeral thought about how small her breasts were and how I envied her tiny nipples -- then to the bathroom.

At this point, dear Reader, we will completely skip over the morning. The short version is:

Got sick, got well, hung around the inkwell, late lunch, hugs goodbye, long nap, afternoon coffee...why was my vagina sore? I sipped my coffee, reliving the highlights from the night before, how much I enjoyed everything and everyone, what a cad Kenny could be, how wonderfully intelligent, funny and pure sunlight Cass was, how Sin-Joon had such a lovely cock, how Nate turned out to be way better than I thought he'd be -- so much for first impressions!

But wait...Sin-Joon...something blurry was coming into focus...kissing Cassidy goodnight on the lips, drunkenly confessing my undying love for her, and her kissing me back...what happened next? It all came flooding back to me in the form of an amazingly juicy sequence in my head. As each delicious thought was realized, I felt a now-familiar, insistent, inflamed pulsating between my thighs. I reached down between my legs, closed my eyes...

Sin Joon was behind me, her head buried into my neck after Cass and I were half a minute into our lip-locked farewell. Her hands came around my body, over my middle, up to my breasts, cupping them while she worked my neck. Cass kissed me gently, then firmly, then cupped my face with her hands, while another pair of hands worked my breasts -- my bra was off, but I couldn't make out when that had happened. Her fingers caressed my nipples, lifted my tits up gently, while Cass continued to spread my lips with hers, her candy-flavored mouth on mine. I was in absolute heaven.

My fingers slipped under my panties, I was wet and starting to feel that throb. My fingers circled around my swelling clitoris as I let my mind drift back...something about Sin-Joon...

We had barely spoken, but she was enveloping me from behind as if a familiar lover that knew how to make me respond, how to feel the undersides of my breasts with her fingers, her thumbs expertly forcing my aching nipples to a fully-erect state.

I became aware of Cass's hand now under my skirt, feeling my thighs, drifting to that aching valley between them. Was I moaning? I felt completely uninhibited, both out of control yet in a fully trusted state, I knew these girls would take could care of me. They wouldn't let anything harm me, they would give me pleasure...

I circled a bit faster around my clit, dipped my fingers into my opened lotus, spread the juice around my throbbing pussy.

It was Jin-Soon. She was behind me, but I felt that hardness, the rubbery carapice, the same hardness I had felt on the train...it was the distinct pressure of a hard cock. It was pressed firmly against my ass. I could feel her body, her hard, boy-like body and that is when I realized the lovely Sin-Joon was transgendered.

I could remember thinking I'd wake up, this would be a dream, but there was no waking up now, I was fully aware, and so prodigally alive, hungry for what they were feeding me. Cass caressed my thighs, then ever so lightly stroked me over my panties. Sin-Joon slowly pressed her erect cock against me, sliding it up and down, unconstrained, she had disrobed, and I felt the heat of her hardness against me. I wanted to be immediately paroled from my sartorial confinement, but was too clumsy to pull this maneuver off at this point in my inebriation. Cass and Sin-Joon deftly accomplished this in seconds, and for the first time in my life, I stood naked before someone that wasn't an employee of a hospital.

Then we were on the bed. It became flashes of images, as I was too deep into my elemental peregrination to fully flesh out the details. I rubbed my pussy, spread my legs, and let the recapitulation drive me on. Sin-Joons hands caressing my breasts, Cass's fingers inside me, over my throbbing clit, spreading my pussy apart, her mouth still over mine, then over my sex, then sucking my clit like a cock, then oooh....mmmm...my God, Sin-Joon slid her member inside my soaked quim in on full thrust. I didn't feel pain, I felt immense pleasure. I felt Cass's tongue on clit, and Sin-Joons cock slowly, tantalizingly, relieving me of my absolute need, my need to cum.

As the memory of Cass's tongue flicking over my engorged clit and Sin-Joons cock lodged firmly inside my wet box, I came all over my fingers, my cum gushing out, down the insides of thighs, all over the sheets, and I moaned out loud, a moan emanating from my diaphragm up through my lungs, my throat.

I lay there, panting, legs spread, sate, pleasured, pulling a blanket up and over me, closed my eyes, and slept until the next morning.