I hope you are enjoying the journey of Mike and Michelle. I'm trying to keep these in nibble sized bits, please let me know if you'd like them more drawn out. As always your critique and criticism are appreciated as it is the only way we grow. Enjoy!
*****
"Babe, I wish you would tell me what's wrong" Mike says from the driver's seat as we are heading home.
I'm looking out the passenger side window, watching the scenery go by in a hazy blur. The colors of the businesses, streetlights, and stoplights seem to merge together in a complex combination of colors, echoing my own internal confusion of emotions. I'm staring off into space, reflecting on the events of the evening.
We had just spent the past few hours at a swingers club. It was an unexpected surprise that Mike had sprung on me out of nowhere. To say I was taken aback is a vast understatement. We had talked about swinging before in the past and I had always dismissed it. I've never considered doing anything close to swinging since I was raised in believing monogamy was the 'norm'. Mike revealed that he had been fantasizing about it for sometime and wanted to 'explore the lifestyle' as he put it. He made it clear that he would respect me and my boundaries but asked that I try and keep an open mind. Mike has never been a person to put me in any jeopardy and I always have complete trust in him. I couldn't open up at first, but as the night progressed my curiosity started to get the best of me.
I was curious not in the sense of wanting to hump the first hard thing I could find, but rather what about this intrigued Mike so much? I'm not daft in dismissing my husband's 'maleness'. I've always acknowledged that my husband is a man and fantasizes about sex, alot. However, in the past I had always thought that he'd given up the notion of swinging. Then, I find out tonight that he hasn't forgotten about it. I also discovered he's actively fantasized about scenarios that I didn't think most men found appealing. He's admitted to sharing me with other men. Wanting to make me the center of attention. I'll admit that had always been a hidden fantasy of mine. I mean most people probably wish they could be that desired. Having that hidden fantasy was what enhanced my own curiosity into wanting to learn more.
During our short time at the club we met some interesting people and heard some personal stories about other couples sexual interactions. We also got to witness first hand two couples sharing one another. It was so overwhelming, but exciting at the same time. It was the most amazing sexual experience I've witnessed secondhand. I mean, I've seen porn movies. Movies where the sex is so fake. Women screaming, men grunting. Women gagging on cocks and men 'painting the fence' with their tongues on pussies. I mean, who eats a pussy that way? But this was different. It was genuine, carnal, raw sexual energy. It was people who were really, simply, purely ... fucking.
Anyway, I got to watch real sex in which I wasn't an active participant. I was able to experience the sounds, flesh slapping flesh, slurping of cocks in pussies. I could smell the sweat and the cum. It was intoxicating to witness it all, and I was high on the erotic energy. I was aroused at watching the sex around me and being immersed in it. However, what struck me most was the love between the spouses during their trists.
The aftermath wasn't what I expected. There wasn't some knock down, dragging on the floor fight between the wives. There weren't nails flying and hair extensions lying on the floor. The couples embraced after they had just fucked each other's spouses and I could sense their love was stronger for it. After observing them tell each other they loved one another, I felt a colossal shift in my view of love and sex.
My view of sex had always been that you have sex with the person that you love. I always equated love to sex. That, to have sex, you had to love that person. It dawned on me tonight that lust and love can be mutually exclusive. Also, that there can be varying degrees of love. I mean, I love my brother but I'd never have sex with him. I love my best friend and her husband but it doesn't make me unfaithful to Mike. I can love Mike and be faithful to him in my heart but still have love for a lover. As if a curtain raised in my mind, I saw a distinction between sex and love.
Watching Al, Shannon, Levi, and Alyssa I admired them for being able to let their jealousy go and live in the moment. I also realized that I had to leave.
I didn't want to leave because I was angry. I had to because I was so overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed by desire, by the pure need for cock. I was also afraid. I was afraid I'd go against what used to by my 'morals'. I had hid behind these barriers for my whole life. As horny as I was I wasn't prepared to abandon those so quickly. It was as if a bird who was always flying into the window, never knowing the window existed, and one day finally noticed the window. I felt reserved but in utter need to be stuffed. I knew that if we stayed I would do what thirty years of mental training had taught me was 'bad'. And all I knew is that I wanted to get ahold of Mike and fuck his brains out.
I snap out of my reverie as Mike's phone buzzes from an incoming call. He answers on the bluetooth speaker in the car.
"Hello?" Mike asks
"Mike? This is Charlie from Desire. I wanted to call you guys and make sure everything was OK. I saw you guys leave in a hurry and I was concerned. I wanted to ensure that nothing happened that wasn't without your consent. Like we talked about when we first met, your boundaries are our primary concern."
"Oh wow, thanks for that Charlie. I'm sure everything is OK. We haven't had a chance to talk yet. I don't think anything happened, however, when I talk with Michelle more I'll let you know if anything happened."
"Ok, thanks Mike. It was a pleasure meeting both of you and I hope we get to see you again. You two have a good evening."
"Thanks, you too Charlie."
