I bartended at various bars in the late 80s and 90s for ten years. As a bartender, you flirt with everyone who enters the place to make tips. Sometimes, things get wild. The story is true. Specific conversations are often artistic license when I can't remember, but the events happened.
On Saturday nights, I generally work in the city. Philly is jumping, and the waterfront along the Delaware River started getting dotted with clubs in the late 80s. Knowing people in the business is helpful. I was able to get a job at one of the spots. It was a beach party bar. It was a fun place to work, and the money was well worth it. I was working the back bar with another bartender and a barback. Saturdays get packed, but it was six in the evening, so the crowd was light. The quiet before the storm, as we called it. Our bar had ten people seated toward the front.
I was bebopping around the bar, taking care of everyone when I looked over and saw a group of girls hanging out. Being a beach party, most girls wore bikini tops with shorts, summer dresses, or casual summer attire. These girls were dressed for nightclubbing. Wrong outfit for here. It happens a lot, though, since the club is new. I saw an older guy hanging around them. He turned around. I recognized him. Jake was the husband of my friend Jackie. Jackie managed the bar a couple of towns over. He was in the military. He glanced over and saw me. I waved a hand to him. He came across the way quick as can be.
"Hey, Sko, what's going on? How the hell are ya?"
"Doing great, man, loving life. Great to see you. How are you? Spoke to Jackie just last week, thought you were deployed?"
"Got back on a slick yesterday for some quick R&R? Surprised Jakcie. Of course, you know she is always busy. She had plans to take one of her new employees out for her birthday. So, a buddy and I decided to tag along as chaperones. I don't want these girls getting into trouble in the big city. I don't think Jackie realized you work here."
"Oh cool, Jackie's here too..." His words started processing in my mind. Jackie's new employee. Birthday. I met Emma, the new bartender, a week ago. I pictured Emma behind the bar talking to me, 'I'm nineteen, and I will be twenty next week.' Oh shit, It's Emma's birthday. I hadn't even realized it. I hadn't seen Emma since we fooled around in the back of my truck. "Real quick, Jake is the birthday girl Emma?"
"Yeah, cute little darling. You should meet her. Damn. If I were single or a SOB like some of my guys, I'd be all over that. Hell, this group of girls is a wild bunch. You'll have fun with any one of them. Sko, you're still single, right?"
"Single as dollar. And I've already met Emma. She is very nice." I smiled.
"Great, well then you know what a looker..." he paused, "Oh, you met her already, did you? Damn, man. I'm jealous. You know I live vicariously through you. Well, there are plenty of other young ladies in the group for you to 'meet.'" He emphasized the last word and pointed with his head to the group.
I looked over and saw Jackie and Emma walking back to the group. Jackie was searching around. And finally, laid eyes on Jake and me talking. She smiled and walked over, leaving the group.
"Of all the gin joints in Philly, you gotta walk into mine," I said as she got close enough.
"I didn't know you worked here, or we'd have gone to a finer establishment."
I glanced over at Emma and the overdressed girls, "looks like youse belong in a finer establishment."
"Yeah, I didn't realize it would be this casual. We went to dinner. They wanted to go dancing. I heard this place was new and fun."
"Oh, it's new and fun. Plenty of dancing, the beach theme kinda makes them overdressed, but they can still have fun."
"Yeah, we were just realizing that. We were deciding what to do."
"I know a good country bar," Jake said. Jackie frowned.
"Give me a minute, I'll help youse figure something out. But first, let's get everyone together."
"I'll call the girls over," Jackie said.
"Oh no, allow me to handle this." I spun and checked the bar, making sure everyone was good. I spoke with Jonesy, the other bartender. I let him know I was drumming up business and nodded my head to the girls.
He smiled, "You better put in a good word for me."
"Certainly, Jonesy, but I think you'll do fine without my word. I'm afraid Carlos will outsmooth us both." Carlos, the barback, laughed.
"Your word might seal the deal," Jonesy said.
I smiled. "Be right back."
I walked around the bar. Emma had not seen me yet. She was facing the opposite way from me, talking to her friends. I noticed Suzy, one of the barmaids from Jackie's bar. I put my finger to my lips as I walked up behind Emma. She smiled. "Excuse me, Miss, I need to see some ID."
Emma stopped talking and froze. All her friends stopped. The smiles dropped from their faces. I was just kidding around, but Emma words played through my head again. 'I will be twenty next week.' She was underage in the bar and thought she got caught.
"The bouncer checked us at the door." She spoke without turning around.
Oh, this was better than I expected. But I didn't have time to take full advantage of the situation. I needed to get back behind the bar. "Miss, I'm sure he did, but I'm the bartender and the one who gets screwed if there's a mistake." The look of nervousness across the other girls' faces was well worth it. That was enough for me. "I'm sure all will be alright. We can work something out. Perhaps some shots and star gazing. I know a farm that isn't..."
"Sko!" She spun around, interrupting me. She grabbed me in a big hug. "Oh my god. You suck. I thought we were done for the night." Her friends smiled nervously again. Suzy started laughing.
"I told ya, payback is a bitch." She had played a trick on me last week. I had to get even. "Girls, come on over to this bar," I pointed to where Jackie and Jake were standing, "Let the two best bartenders in Philly take care of you." I led them towards the bar. I leaned into Emma and whispered, "Happy Birthday, sexy." She held onto me as we walked over.
I stepped back around the bar. The six girls, plus Emma, Jake, and Jackie, took up the side of the back bar. This almost doubled our crowd for the evening so far. "Ladies, this is Jonesy. The second-best bartender in the city of Brotherly Love. That is Carlos, the best barback and soon to be the third-best bartender." Jonesy and Carlos took a bow. "Of course I am, Sko, the master of ceremonies at the back bar. We will be entertaining you for a little while. So would you ladies like some Cock..." I paused for a second, "...tails this evening?" It was an oldie but a goodie and a great icebreaker.
The girls laughed. Jackie gave me the standard eye roll. Jonesy and I prepared the drinks. After the bar was good, I spoke with Jackie and Jake. "So, dancing, you say, at a Philly club." I rattled off a couple of places.
"The issue is getting the girls into those places. I knew someone here."
"Now you know, two someones," I said. "Let me worry about that. I know some people."
We talked about a couple of places. I said I'd make a few calls and find out the best options. I went to the bar phone and called around. I was able to get in touch with a DJ that I knew. He was spinning at a club that was not far away. I mentioned it was Emma's twenty-second birthday. He said he would put Jackie and Emma on the list and add seven guests. I thanked him. I told him I owed him and hung up. Jackie had overheard me.
"Why her Twenty-Second birthday?"
"Twenty-one, they make too much of a deal ID'ing people. The fun of it. Any other year doesn't really matter. Twenty-Second tells him that she is under and lets him know the favor I'm asking without outright saying it. He has plausible deniability. He knows I owe him."
"Wow, learn something new every day." She said.
"Fucking Sko," Jake said, "always knows the ins and outs. You would make a great soldier. I'd go to battle with you any day."
"Not my style. I'm a support the home front guy. Make sure you have somewhere nice to return to after you heroes save the world."
"Yeah, support the home front," he looked over at the girls laughing and joking. "I bet you support them all right." He put his arm around Jackie, "Thank god I have the best-looking girl in the world to come home to."
"You are one lucky bastard. I would have to support her if you weren't so nice."
"You two think you are something," Jackie said. She poked Jake, "You remember you have two kids and me. before you go looking for a mistress." Then her eyes turned to me, "You wouldn't have a shot to 'support' me despite the stories I've heard. And quit ogling my bar staff. I don't need them getting all giggly for Sko and causing catfights."
"Whoa, I have done nothing. I just entertain."
