It took Ben and I some time to process our crazy beach getaway. While neither of us are prudes, I could never have imagined either of us behaving so hedonistically. I could never have imagined myself being unfaithful to Ben, who was without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me. And for that day to turn into a de-facto orgy with two strangers seemed like some bizarre pornographic dream.
But it was no dream. It was reality. I cheated on my loving husband, right in front of him. And while it was profoundly erotic, it was also profoundly painful. We started seeing a therapist to sort out our feelings and the future of our relationship. It was very helpful and ultimately, after some brutally honest conversations, we both realized what a gift that weekend was.
Previous to that weekend, our sex life had become nonexistent, and neither of us talked about it. Perhaps we had each accepted this as a result of getting older. But we have realized that it does have to be that way. The magical confluence of events that weekend introduced us to other possibilities. That possibility came in the form of two lovely humans -- our new friends Junot and Carlos.
Since that weekend, Ben and I have been fucking like teenagers, and every few weeks we meet up with Junot and Carlos and essentially have a same room swap -- which is what we did the first time we all got together.
I always hook up with Junot and Ben with Carlos -- yes Ben is bisexual as are both Junot and Carlos. I had known Ben was bi, but it was quite the experience to see him have sex with another man. Seeing Ben fellate Carlos is truly mind blowing -- from what Ben has told me, he has sucked many many more cocks in his life than I have -- and it shows. And judging by Carlos' reaction, Ben knows exactly what he's doing.
And while seeing a man's penis in my husband's mouth is crazy enough, seeing a man penetrate my husband is surreal. Anal sex has always confounded me. I would have never imagined it being remotely pleasurable for the receiver but watching Ben's face as Carlos fucks him is a case study in pleasure. When Carlos fucks my husband, I hear him moan and shriek in an ecstasy that I had never heard from him.
It's similar to the pleasure I get from being with Junot -- although it's much more sensual with us. Carlos and Ben don't really kiss -- they get right down to business, whereas Junot and I will kiss and cuddle and make out. Junot is very kissable -- he is the essence of sexy -- a tall, slim, fit, charming musician with a big, beautiful cock. But even more than all of that is Junot's spirit -- he exudes kindness and calm. The combination creates an irresistible magnetism. I love spending a weekend losing myself in his eyes, his mouth, his cock -- tasting his cum or feeling it shoot inside of me brings me childlike delight, as well as perverse joy in knowing that my husband is watching.
This pairing happened somewhat spontaneously the first time we all got together, and we have never veered from it. It's never occurred to me to have sexual contact with Carlos -- not that I don't find him attractive. He is attractive -- beefy and masculine -- and Ben clearly enjoys his time with him. And while Ben seems to appreciate Junot, and how happy he makes me, Ben has never mentioned any desire to be with him sexually. Although, I've seen the lust in Ben's eyes when he sees Junot's cock. I bet he would love to suck him off.
To most people, what I'm describing must seem inconceivable. I don't imagine its particularly common for married couples approaching 50 (or any age for that matter) to have two additional male lovers. And growing up in this patriarchal, heteronormative and sex negative culture, I can feel the sting of the slurs that would be hurled at us -- 'slut', 'hussy', 'fag', 'cuck'. Part of our therapy was to work through these messages from the dominant culture that we internalize. And coming through the other side of it, what we both realize is that not only are none of these things true. In fact, it's the exact opposite. This honest exploration of our sexuality has brought us joy and happiness.
We have it all -- love, lust, adventure -- without cheating or hiding or shame. It has completely revitalized our marital sex life, which in turn has made our marriage stronger, healthier and happier. And nothing is more important to me than that. Which is why I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring up the possibility of seeing Junot without Ben. There was a concert I wanted to go to and while I usually drag Ben to these things, I know it's not really his thing. But I know Junot would love it -- why shouldn't I take him? And if I did, would I have sex with him after? How would Ben feel about that? Is it even worth bringing up?
I brought it up gingerly one evening after dinner with Ben. Ben's near immediate response was to ask if I would fuck Junot afterwards? Of course I wanted to, but I didn't want to do anything that would upset Ben. We accomplished a great deal in therapy and I didn't want to destroy it in one night.
Ben pointed out the hypocrisy of what I was asking -- what if he were to go out and fuck a woman? What if he were to really like another woman -- the same way I like Junot? How would I feel about that? The thought of him with another woman would be much more challenging for me. I would feel competitive and insecure and jealous. I don't feel that way when he's fooling around with Carlos. Somehow I'm not threatened by him sleeping with other men.
Ultimately Ben was turned on by the idea and agreed to let me go out with Junot on the condition that I would tell him every detail. And as we discussed the possibilities of what might happen, Ben became aroused. Very aroused. My dessert that night was his throbbing cock deep inside of me as I was bent over our kitchen table.
The concert was better than I could have imagined. We had a magnificent time. Junot and I met beforehand and had a quick dinner, a couple drinks and then headed to the concert. It was loud and fun -- we sang and danced and laughed and made out like teenagers.
As we left the concert, Junot asked me if I wanted to meet Carlos for a drink. I didn't really want to -- I wanted Junot all to myself -- but not wanting to be a killjoy, I agreed. We met up with Carlos at a local bar and despite my reservations, we continued to have a great time.
Despite the fact that Carlos has seen me in various stages of sexual arousal, and I've watched him fuck my husband, I didn't really know him that well. Carlos always came across as kind of shy and reserved, but tonight he was gregarious and charming and downright flirty. He was playfully teasing Junot and I about our obvious connection to each other -- making fun of the how loud I am when I'm having sex with Junot. I was embarrassed, but I teased him back -- reminding him that he seems particularly appreciative when my husband blows him.
Carlos got serious for a second. "No joke...Ben gives the best head I have ever had in my life. It's amazing."
"What makes it so good?" I asked.
Carlos went into detail about how wet and tight Ben's mouth is and how he just worships his cock with such devotion.
Junot chimed in -- "Hey Sara gives great head too."
"I'm sure she does," Carlos said, "but I've never had better than Ben."
Junot whispered into my ear, "Show him how good you are Sara."
