Greetings, folks. My name is James Tomasi Bjorn. A tall, good-looking, golden brown-skinned and green-eyed man of African-American and Swedish descent. I'm currently touring North America, and like many young men, I'm looking for adventure. What kind of adventures? Well, that's what this story is all about, folks. I lead the kind of life other people can only dream of. I can do whatever I want. Limits are for others. Not for me. Why is that? I'm filthy rich. A billionaire, actually. My parents are loaded and so am I. Dad is an oil tycoon from the Kingdom of Sweden. He's also descended from Swedish Royalty. Which makes me a man of regal blood. Mom is a black female American Corporate Raider. Brains, beauty, wealth and power. We have it all. Any questions?
I spend my time between my mansion in Atlanta, Georgia and my ancestral castle in Stockholm, the capital city of the Kingdom of Sweden. I attend two schools, the University of Stockholm and the Atlanta Institute of Technology. It's quite hectic, but whatever. My father wants me to get a good education. I do too. But I longer for adventure and glory a lot more. Plus, I'm kind of a hedonist at heart. I need to engage in risky and challenging pursuits otherwise I start to feel completely empty inside. I've always been that way. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just a Man of Action. Or perhaps there's a deeper issue at work. Oh, well. It's something I shall ponder another day.
Currently, I'm in the city of Boston. I'm staying at the Marriott Hotel. It's a really nice place. Not quite the Hilton, but who cares? Boston is a city with a lot to offer, if one is an intellectual or a homosexual. I'm neither. Not bashing, just being honest. I'm actually bisexual. I think homosexuals are boring. Why focus all of your energies on the same sex? That's about as boring as heterosexuality. Why focus all of your energies on the opposite sex? Bisexuality is a happy medium and it's where I reside. It's where everyone should reside, if the world actually made sense.
I found myself very bored in my hotel room. I need to stay active and stimulated at all times, otherwise I get bored. You don't want to see when I'm bored. Some people are dangerous when they're angry or upset. I become dangerous when I am bored. That's when any idea, no matter how insane, becomes very attractive. So, to kill the boredom, I flirted with the Help. Maria Suarez, the tall and plump, big-bottomed, red-blooded Latina MILF who came in to clean my room was quite delectable. As was Hector Sanchez, the good-looking and obviously gay Latino guy who cleaned the Hotel floors. I invited them both to join me for some fun. They were both reluctant, until I told them that I'd pay them five grand each for their company. Let's just say that they didn't protest after that. They both had bills to pay and could certainly use the cash.