Chapter 23
My Final Humiliation
I was at home alone one weekend and contemplating how much I had changed over the years. I was still married to the guy that had given me my two lovely daughters but had always considered me to be useless in bed. Any sex life we had had disappeared years ago, but we remained together out of old fashioned duty and for the girls.
Remembering some of the things I had done made me feel both ashamed and guilty.
It had all started when I first surrendered to Jack. I still had fond memories of the tender way he had seduced me; me, the old-fashioned Taiwanese wife, very conservative and a loving mother, but, beneath the surface, Jack had very soon discovered a much different woman. A woman eager to please and almost insatiable in bed.
With Jack's encouragement and later Tom's, I had done things I would never have dreamt of; how could I? the old naïve me had no idea whatsoever of the many ways that a woman could satisfy a man; or many men.
Although at home and alone I felt myself blush as I remembered the occasions at Tom's camera club where I had willingly taken part in what could only be described as orgies; orgies where the only woman was me, naked amongst a group of men and eagerly behaving like a slut.
I often remembered those times, cringing with shame at the brazen way in which I had behaved; stripping naked and spreading my legs open for the camera club men to photograph every intimate part of my body before surrendering myself to their lust and allowing them to use me in whatever way they wished to satisfy their lust.
It was shameful and humiliating remembering how I had willingly allowed them to penetrate and use me; my mouth, vagina and anus, all freely available for them to enter and ejaculate into.
Contemplating these memories was something I found myself doing from time to time. I would re-live the intense feelings of embarrassment and reluctance at being naked in front of a group of men. The humiliation of performing fellatio on one as the others all watched and on a few occasions masturbating myself to an orgasm while they all watched.
Yes, I felt deeply ashamed but each time these thoughts filled my head my hand would find its way between my legs and I would bring myself to the most incredible climax as the many things I had done raced through my head.
Both Jack and Tom seemed to have lost interest in me since they had seduced my two daughters. Although I found it difficult to live with the fact that both Lili and Grace had probably inherited my own insatiable appetite for sex I accepted that they were now both adults and as far as Jack and Tom were concerned the three of us were no longer a challenge and they had probably moved on to other innocent and unsuspecting young women.
It had been a year now since my last sexual encounter and although I tried to satisfy my urges with my fingers, deep down I knew that I wanted more.
I had no idea how to find what I secretly yearned for. I knew that just having sex with someone was not enough and despite my constant self-denial my recurring masturbatory fantasy was to experience the shyness, embarrassment and humiliation I had felt at Tom's camera club.
I knew where it was and briefly considered contacting Tom or the club to offer my services but I knew it wouldn't work. There were two reasons. The first was that I had never forgiven him for seducing Grace and the second was that one evening, feeing particularly horny, I hung around outside and saw him enter with a much younger woman than me.
For the time being I was lost for ideas as to where I, a woman in her forties, could get what she secretly desired.
I thought it was fate or just a coincidence when the following week, whilst waiting for the train home from work I saw a guy I had noticed on a few occasions previously. He was well dressed in a smart suit, probably aged around fifty or so. I had seen him before at the same station looking as though he was interviewing women, or perhaps doing market research. As I stood waiting for my train he approached me.
It was a hot summer day and I was wearing my usual conservative work clothing of a simple white cotton blouse, black knee length skirt and sensible medium heeled shoes.
"Excuse me," he said, "I hope you don't mind me interrupting your journey home but I represent a large multi-national company and we are looking for a very special lady to join our team."
As he spoke I became very aware of the way in which he was checking me out; his gaze making me feel uncomfortable as it lingered on my chest before very obviously appraising the rest of me.
I felt shy as I wondered if my blouse was too 'see through,' aware that my white lace bra was visible underneath.
This was the second time today that I had worried about the visibility of my bra beneath my blouse. It was after having a meeting with one of my least favourite customers at work. He was the senior buyer for an international company whose name was Andy and was a bit of a creep. However, he was a valuable customer and his business accounted for 25% of our annual turnover so it was important from a business point of view that I, the international sales manager, got on well with him. Andy always insisted on hugging me whenever we met and, like this guy on the station platform now, always appeared to undress me in his mind each time we met. He even asked me out to dinner once but I refused; telling him that I had to be home for my husband and two daughters. A lie of course, but it put him off.
Sensing this guy's expectation of a reply I said, "surely an employment agency would be a much more efficient way of finding somebody to fill the post."
He smiled at me, quite charmingly, before saying, "in these politically correct times it is not possible to specify the type of lady we are seeking."
"Why not," I said, intrigued.
He hesitated, moved closer and, lowering his voice, said, the lady we are looking for must be attractive, have a good figure, and," he paused again, "look just like you."
I felt flattered but at the same time puzzled; there must be plenty of women around that would fit his description; why me, I thought?
"Thank you for the compliment," I said, my cheeks flushing a little, "but why did you pick me from all the rest?"
His eyes were still roaming over me as he replied, "I like the way you walk, your posture, your subtle sex appeal."
I felt flattered again by his compliments but was starting to wonder where this conversation was going. Was this some chat-up line of his?
I think that he sensed I might be about to walk away as I said, "I'm not looking for a job. I'm quite happy with my present employer although to be honest, like most people, I could do with earning a little more."
"The job I am offering would be in addition to your current job. It would only require one or two days a month, in the evening for a few hours. For this we would pay you the same salary that you are probably earning now."
I looked at him quite sternly as I replied, "whatever it is you want of me it must be either illegal or immoral to be able to pay so well so I am not interested."
"What if I promise you that it is not illegal?"
"So why offer such a high salary for so little hours?"
He looked around before gripping my arm lightly and saying, "the successful candidate has to be very broad minded."
At that moment, my train was arriving and as I made to break away from him he thrust a business card into my hand saying, "please think about it. My contact details are on the card. Email me with any questions you have and perhaps we can arrange an interview."
I took the card, quickly put it in my handbag and then made a dash for my train. After arriving home, I had more or less forgotten about the guy on the station, dismissing the incident as some kind of scam.
It was only as the next few days passed that I started to think about him again. I remembered the way he had complimented me on my figure; a rare thing at my age. The words of his that stuck in my mind however were, "the successful candidate must be very broad minded."
It was whilst alone the following weekend, satisfying myself with my fingers as I replayed an old camera club fantasy in my mind, that I thought of the guy on the station again.
