Meg felt cold. It wasn't a lack of clothing or any turn in the weather, but she felt cold. Jonathan's hand was the only contact to the world that she felt she had left, the only warmth she could feel, that she knew for sure existed, was through his hand. The late autumn breeze blew up the passage in which they stood, blew round her, through her, up the black wraparound skirt that he insisted she wore, blew through the gossamer lace underwear that clung to her skin, but for all that, it was not the weather that was cold.
This was the furthest step she had taken. Everything until now had been measured, had been discussed and agreed, even if it had been agreed that she should lose control, it had been a loss that she had foreseen, had understood. This was different, Jon had argued that through all their adventures Meg had always still retained a measure of control, Meg, on the other hand hand felt she had given up ownership of herself in all the situations they had faced; the escort Jackie, the stud Mark, the stranger voyeur that they had allowed to watch. They talked through the highs, where they had come from, what had caused them. Jon believed that the highs of submission that Meg had encountered had all been mitigated by her because of her involvement in the setting up of the scenarios. Jon had posed that her situation may have been different if the man or woman had been ugly, that within their agreed gateway of 'healthy, clean and non-discoverable', they had always been safe. John moved away from the argument, left Meg to work out the realities, let her raise some righteous indignity, allowed her to come back to Jon some time later to insist that he takes her to a scenario that she has no influence or design over . . . and here they were.
The knock on the door had a finality of sorts. Meg knew that there was never any finality, that she had her 'word' and a dark angel and she knew deep down that she was safe, at least physically. The door opened to a small anteroom and a slight change in temperature. Jonathan spoke to the man behind the grill and after an exchange they moved through into a lounge area. Jon took her coat and offered "glass of wine" in a way that Meg knew was not an offer. At first she felt a little self-conscious but looking around she saw that the few women, in couples, in the lounge area were all dressed provocatively and she relaxed a little. Eventually curiosity got the better of her, " can we have a look around" she said, noticing that some couples and some single men were wandering up some stairs. "No", said Jonathan, "maybe later, depending. We are heading downstairs, leave your drink, you wont be needing it!" and he stood up to leave, holding her arm and guiding her down the stairs to a darkened suite of rooms.