I had just dropped into the pub for a couple of pints on the way home and the opportunity to catch up with the news of the day on my phone. There were not many people there but as I sat down my attention was drawn to some new arrivals, a well-dressed couple who strolled in and sat down on a couch opposite me. As the lady turned I got my first proper look at her and almost choked on my beer. She was absolutely stunning. Tall, with long socks that came just above the knees and a short, flared skirt topped with a tight tee shirt with a few buttons, the top one undone to reveal a tantalising glimpse of cleavage. Hair down to her shoulders she was perfectly groomed and looked like a lady of complete class.
I suddenly realised that I was staring too obviously as she looked at me with her head cocked to the side. Her companion, also immaculately dressed went off to the bar to order and as he left I sneaked another glance at the lady and was caught! She saw me looking again but this time a brief smile passed across her lips and she winked at me.
I immediately looked back down at my phone and tried to concentrate on the news but couldn't resist sneaking a quick look - again I was caught but this time she leaned back on the couch and crossed her legs allowing me a good look at a generous amount of smooth, creamy thigh. I think I must have been almost drooling by this stage but saw her companion coming back so quickly diverted my eyes back to the screen of my phone.
I took another large swig of my beer and realised that I had almost finished my pint - in record time - so moved to the bar for a refill.
As I returned I noticed that the lady was alone once more but I was proud of my control in keeping my head diverted from her direction. As I sat back down again there was a tap on my shoulder and a male voice spoke in my ear "you seem to be a little distracted by the lovely vision over there that happens to be MY wife." "I agree with you that she is gorgeous and very hard to ignore but I feel you have been very obvious, maybe bordering on rude with your ogling. I think an apology is in order!"
I quickly stammered to him that I was very sorry for being rude and that I would finish my beer and leave. He said no, that would not be sufficient and that I should accompany him over to their table and apologise personally to his wife. With that he gripped me firmly under my arm and almost frogmarched me across the room, pushing me down on the seat opposite his wife. He then went back and collected my beer and phone and placed them on the table in front of me.
It is not often I am stuck for words but I was opening my mouth but not producing words. The husband then slapped me hard on the back - firmly enough to make me jump and just commanded me to start talking.
I finally managed to get and apology out for my rudeness in staring but tried to justify it by saying that she was very beautiful and it was difficult not to look. Another firm slap on the back like we were old friends except a friend would not slap so hard... and I was told not bad but not good enough. So I tried again with what I felt was an abject apology but spoilt it again by saying that in many ways it was a compliment to her beauty that I was staring so much.
Again a strong slap - even harder this time and I lurched forward. He told me that it was still inadequate and that he felt that perhaps I should buy his wife a drink and one for him while I was there. He suggested that I should think about a real apology while I was at the bar.
I agreed and quickly scurried to the bar. Fortunately the barman was aware of what they were drinking and I was able to return shortly after with their drinks.