I'm going to get a little autobiographical on you guys now. The story I'm going to tell you is all true and it's really an explanation of how I learned to make the best carrot cake in the world and why I like it so much. It's my favourite.
In college I studied writing, primarily. I have a BA in creative writing but I had to take other classes too and this story takes place in a cooking and baking class, called Kitchen Science 101, that I took my Junior year. We had a big test that day. We had to bake a cake from scratch and Mrs. Ramsey, our professor, teamed me up with Linda Butler. She was my lab partner. We had to have lab partners because there were not enough ovens in the lab for us each to work solo.
Part of the class was that we had to provide all our own ingredients for the test. As kitchen scientists we were tasked with knowing, and procuring what we would need, and understanding how to use it all; to put it together. Linda and I had opted to make a carrot cake and we did it proud. We made a three layer one and loaded it up with carrots, pineapple, and coconut. Linda wanted to put raisins in but I nixed that idea, as I'm not a big fan of raisins.
When we put the pans in the oven we started to make the cream cheese frosting. We mixed it up and Linda took the bulk of it. I took a smaller amount, divided it in half and coloured one half orange, the other half green. She was going to spread the white part over the top of the cake after it cooled down and I was going to make the little decorative carrots that went on top of that.
I don't know, for sure, what happened. I didn't see it happen but I certainly heard the crash of the bowl Linda was mixing the frosting in when it shattered on the floor. All that frosting was unusable, and without frosting, we probably wouldn't pass the class. Linda was beside herself but I managed to calm her down so that we could discuss options.
Cream cheese frosting was no longer an option. We had no extra cream cheese. She suggested a glaze and I thought that was a great idea. We would need some confectioners' sugar though. She pointed across the room where another team had a large bag and I went over to ask if we could use some of their extra sugar. They turned us down and they laughed. We had to come up with a plan B. I suggested to Linda that if we could get enough boys to volunteer we could glaze the cake with sperm and then put the little decorative carrots on top of that. I figured we'd have to milk between thirty and forty cocks to get enough to do the job right.
She was skeptical but I felt pretty sure that two good looking girls like us should be able to find enough volunteers who would be willing to step up and get jacked off for a good cause.
"Cover for me," I said, "I'll go first. I'll be back in about 15 minutes and then you can go." I grabbed another mixing bowl for collections and stepped into the hall. I stopped the first boy I saw. He was a tall kid and I recognized him. He played on the basketball team and his name was Stephen. I explained what I needed.
