Letter to Tommy

Hi Tom,

I know I have not written to you or even called since you left for divinity school too get away from me. I have been keeping track through mom. I understand that you now pastor a big Church down in Austin TX. I know it has been a very long time but tonight I have to write you. I would call you but I have a feeling it would be a very long phone call (provided that you would talk to me that is). I want to tell you what I have been doing and what I have gotten myself mixed up in. I don't honestly know if I am asking for advice, or if I am trying to shock my big brother (Yea like I could do that right?) or if I am asking for help. Maybe I am just letting another human who knows me and that I can trust know what is going on with me. I bet you tell everyone "confession is good for the soul" I can't talk to mom about this, and I sure as hell can't tell my husband Ron. Did mom ever tell you I finely did find a man and I got married? I was 26; His name is Ron, (Ronald) he had an 8-year old son (Josh) when I married him. Ron was 30 at the time. He was married before and his wife died of a Kidney infection. Because of everything that we did when we were young I thought I would never love any one man. I always held up any boyfriend to my high sexual standards, most men could not handle my sleeping around. When I found Ron, I kept that part to myself.

Ron seem to draw me out and he replaced that deep need in me for sex with different men. He filled that space that you left vacant when you ran off. I never told him about us or about anyone else, I wanted to tell him later but by then it was too late and now as I look back I am so ashamed of all those nasty things I had done. If you were not my brother Oh well that is a different time and different story. Right now my problem is with Josh and of course it has to do with sex. He is now in his second year at UCLA. He is majoring in Psychology (on paper) in reality he is majoring in sex, girls, and sex and he has mastered it well. Before I go into detail I want you to know something and it the God's honest truth. For 11 years I have never cheated on Ron not one time, we have had the most wonderful life. And I include the sex in there. It is not as wild as we had, but at least it is the right kind. Everything was perfect until about 6 months ago. Now my life is all turned all up side down. I have had days when I felt like ending it all to get out of this cycle I am caught in.

A lot of this shit is because of Ron's fucking job. Hey, don't be shocked Tommy, I never stopped cussing and I have no idea how you could have. Anyway Ron has this high paying high profile Government job and I stay at home being the perfect little wife for him. He has one of those jobs where he can't talk to me about his specific work. Because of his job, my family is always under security watch for our safety. The Army came in and did a high dollar security thing at our house. Right now I put most of the blame on it them and the system as well as on Ron. Before I get into this letter too much I should tell that when it comes to sex I only got wilder when it came to making love. You know what I mean, I was hardly quite when we had sex and whenever I came I let the world know. Well with Ron he is an animal in bed (and anywhere else we can do it) he is hung (maybe an inch longer than you are) and you know me, I have to have sex all the time. I thought I would loose some of this desire, as I got older, now at 36 I seem to be hornier all the time. (Yea, yea, nothing has changed)

Part of this problem is because Ron had to fly back and fourth to Washington so much. I am left here at the house alone with Josh popping in and out from his classes. We wanted to save some money on his education and we live so close to campus that he still lives with us. Now when Ron is in town, we are at each other all the time and when he is gone well do you remember how you taught me what cucumbers were good for? Well I still love them except now I have about 2 dozen other rubber toys to choose from. To make this a little shorter, I masturbate allot. (Well I use to anyway) Ron loves for me to do it over the phone while he is at work or at his motel. It helps us get our "fix" anyway what I am trying to tell you is, our sex life is what I always thought was perfect. You know me better than anyone (or at least you did) for me to say it is perfect, I am saying a mouthful.

If the walls in our house could talk they would turn your face red. Oh I hope your not turning red now my dear brother. Remember how you called me a stark raving mad sex manic? Well Ron thinks so also. OK, Ok I did not sit down here to brag about my sex life, I sat down here to, oh fuck I don't know exactly why. Just hear (read) me out. You know as I sit here writing to you about all of this getting it out of my system so to speak, I think I'll burn this letter, that way I can start to think more clearly. It all started 6 months ago, something happened to me that has shaken me to my core. Ron was in Washington and of all the times he had to go it was on our anniversary. Because of the weather they closed the airport where he was to fly out from to get back home. We had tickets to the opera and dinner and we had planned a very wild and nasty night of sex. He did not want me to miss my Opera so he had me take our housekeeper with me. She has been with us almost 10 years now.

This was the very first anniversary that we have not spent together and it crushed me. After the show we went to dinner and we toasted the past 11 years. Jill drank way too much, I had two glasses of wine anyway Jill, and I took a cab home. When we got there and went inside I was surprised to find Josh and three of his friends watching some sort of football game in the den. (Normally he is not around) I felt light headed but not drunk, It was time for bed so I took an Ambian (it is a new sleeping pill the doctor gave me that day.) I always have trouble getting to sleep when Ron is not at home. Anyway about 11:30 I lost track of everything. I remember taking Jill to her room and I put her to bed. I remembered saying good night to Josh and I went to my bedroom. The next thing I remember was waking up. I felt sore, my body was covered in sperm, my jaw hurt, my butt hole hurt, and my pussy was sore as hell. I knew that I had been raped. Then it accord to me that maybe Ron did get home after all and he had already left for work, after all it was 10:30 in the morning. I went to check on Jill, and I found that she had already left to visit her mom. It was her day off and she must have gotten an early start since it is about a two-hour drive to go see her mother as she normally does.

I called Ron's office but they told me he was still stuck in DC. I hung up the phone and sat in shock and in horror. How in Gods name did I get like this, how did I get raped in my own house with everything all locked up? I remembered the security system, with tears in my eyes and sore all over I got my key to unlock it. Ron has our system hidden under lock and key so that if anything does happen, only he I and his security men know where to look and how to get into it. I wanted to see what I did after I got home. I knew that we had hidden cameras all over the house and that they all work on sensors. That means the system only records the rooms that have body heat and movement in them. I wanted to see how I was raped and by who. I unlocked the system and I discovered that the tape from 12:00 on was missing. However the tape for the first 12 hours was still in the machine. I played it back and I did see us enter the house. I saw

The boys watching TV and I watched my self walk around a bit talking with the boys and then I watched myself take the Ambian. Jill was sitting down drunk talking to the boys and in less than 5 minutes she passed out. Jill was real drunk and it looked like I needed Josh's help to get her to bed so we took Jill to her room. I undressed her down to her underwear. Josh stayed there with us watching until I noticed and ran him out of the room.

We walked out and I heard myself tell Josh I was going to get ready for bed myself. I watched myself walk down the hall to my bedroom. Once I was gone I then saw Josh go back into Jill's room. He went over to her bed, pulled back her covers, opened her legs and he started playing with her pussy, he worked her and rubbed until Jill in her drunken stupor was responding to his touch. I watched as he went down on her. I watched as her body responded to Josh and was bouncing up and down against his face. I could see him stroking his dick as he licked her. Jill was into the pleasure he was giving her, her eyes never opened but she moaned and let it be known that she was experiencing pleasure. Josh stopped eating her and moved between her legs. I could not believe my eyes; my 20-year-old stepson was fucking my housekeeper. I had two things surprise me, no, it was three things. First I was surprised that Jill as drunk as she appeared was in any position to get any pleasure what so ever. Second I was surprised that Josh was hung like a horse and Third, I was surprised at myself for standing there looking at the monitor not wanting to miss any detail of what took place. I caressed my nipples as I watched, I saw one of Josh's black friends come up to the open door of Jill's room and he said "Hey buddy can I have some of that when your done?" I was in shock and I was so fucking turned on I could hardly stop from touching myself. Just as I reached down to touch my clit, Josh climaxed in Jill, and he started to speak to the guy when the tape ended. At Midnight the system stops one tape and starts another. The tape that started at midnight was gone. In fact for the very first time that I ever knew of the machine was not recording anything right then. There was a flashing light "missing tape"

I was at my wits end trying to figure out what happen, I was pissed because the tape was gone and I would not know what happened next. I mean what happen to me who fucked me. I did not know what to think, I know that Ron and I are the only ones in the house that knew where the security system is and I was trying to figure out how could the tape have been taken. I sure as hell do not remember taking it out, then I tried to recall if I had even seen it in there, maybe Ron forgot to re-set that one and it was just missing. I went to the phone to call the police to report that I had been raped, but I just could not pick it up. I went and took a very long bath and shower, I put my robe on and sat in the den almost all day, well till about 2 anyway, that was when Josh returned from school. I looked at him and his shit-eating grin. I started to say something about what I had seen, but then I would have to tell him about the secret security system that he was not suppose to know about. I just figure I would wait and let his father deal with it. Josh bounced in and asked me if I would like to see his newest project (a documentary). He said he had been working on it all day and when he turns it in he should get an A+. He is an electronics wizard; I said sure (I was humoring him) he walked over to the VCR and put in the tape he brought in with him from school.

I expected some sort of documentary about school; I never in my life was so shocked. It started with rock and roll and an announcer said "The night in the life of one cock hungry lonely house wife." I was dumbfounded and stunned. Then the voice said "Staring that lover of any cock, Hard or Soft, that sucker of cocks, the slut who just can't get enough when her husband is gone, This cunt has no idea how to say the word "No". This bitch will suck you dry and will not stop; she is good to the very last drop. It is the one, the only Mrs. Linda Johnson." I was frozen in shock, I started to get up and turn it off but Josh quickly got up and told me that I better watch all of it, if I did not want dad to see the one that he made for him to watch. It was clear to me who took the missing tape from the system now. The movie showed me walking to my bedroom, I watched myself go into the bathroom and pee. I watched myself go over to my bed and with the light on and with the door wide open I laid on top of the covers. I started to caress myself and talking to Ron for not being with me on our anniversary. I watched as I worked my fingers and hands giving myself more and more pleasure. I looked at my self, I did not appear to be drunk, and I did not appear to be stoned. With tears in my eyes I was trying to recall anything, I could not. Why couldn't I remember any of this? I watched myself work my pussy to frenzy. I would get my fingers all wet with my juice and suck on them licking them clean. I had my legs wide apart and pulled back and I was really yelling out dirty things to myself like I was masturbating to a gang-bang fantasy or something.

You remember how I loved to get wild and loud when climax. Will if anything over the years I have gotten worse. The camera is on the ceiling and it looks down on the whole room it has one of those fish lens that sees everything. I looked over at the door and I could see a man standing there with his cock in his hand, he just stood there watching me. I reached under my pillow and pulled out my big fat long rubber dick. I watched as I slowly worked it into myself, and I watched as I lost myself to it. I was talking to my cock as I fucked myself. I kept telling it how much I loved it, I told my rubber cock how I could always count on it being there with me and not off working. I told it how I could not wait to suck it and how I needed to feel it in my ass after it made me come just one time. I called my cock different names as if different men were there fucking me one right after another.

I watched myself as the person stroking his long cock moved slowly up next to the bed. I watched as I kept fucking myself and turned my head to see him coming in next to the bed. I watched my eyes as I kept them glued to the hard cock in his hand. I watched as he moved onto the bed with me and he brought his cock up to my mouth where I attacked him. I assaulted his cock with my mouth and I watched as I climaxed doing it. I sat there watching this and I had two things going through my mind, first off was that Josh. I couldn't see his face but I saw his cock and it was lovely. The other thing going through my mind was while watching this, it was overpowering my shock and anger, and I was starting to watch what I did with interest and desire. However I was not about to give myself away and let Josh know I was interested.

I watched Josh reach down and take over my big black rubber cock that I was fucking myself with. He went a lot faster than I had been doing, the faster he went the crazier I became. Sitting there watching I could feel my dampness between my legs. I watched my self on the bed as I arched my back up as I was coming; I had one hell of a hard climax. It was all Josh could do to keep his balance the way I was bouncing up and down thrusting myself against the cock in his hand. I watched as he pulled it out, and then I could hear myself begging and moaning for more. Then I began to plead with him to eat me. I let go of his cock and using my hands I forced his face down between my legs. As his mouth found its goal, I saw another man walk into my bedroom. I laid there looking at him and I worked my nipples and tits while he came into the room and took his clothes off. I watched and heard myself as I begged him to let me suck his big black cock. Watching this as I sat there was beginning to take it's toll, I was getting so turned on by what I was watching I had to get some realize, yet I did not want Josh to be aware that watching this was effecting me at all. I started to flex my inner Kagel muscles and that gave me a little pleasure. Not as much as touching myself but enough to sort of take off the edge so to speak. I would have preferred to be licked and eaten or better yet just being fucked.

As I watched I told myself that I was drunk. I had to be drunk, there was no way on this earth I would have done anything like that ever. (Allow two men in my bedroom with Ron gone) The trouble was, I could tell that I was not drunk. Something was wrong I love sex way too much to do something like that and not remember anything at all about it. Now sex with my step-son would never happen (or anyone else for that matter) Hell I have been drunk many times I know what and how I act when I'm drunk, while I had been drinking earlier I could not understand why I was acting like a fucking slut. One thing that did stand out like a sore thumb was, I was extremely horny. I watched as Josh moved from between my legs and moved up to slide in his dick. My eyes were glued to the TV screen.

My mouth was dry and Josh had turned up the volume very high, I could hear my own breathing and I could hear how excited I was. I looked over at Josh who was also watching the TV screen. He had his hand in his lap massaging a very stiff Hard-On. Turning back to the screen I watched as Josh slid his cock into me. I heard myself moan with pleasure as he filled me and right then my body seem to respond to what I was watching and hearing. As Josh entered me he was not moving fast enough for me. I stared to work my hips fucking pushing and working myself closer to him. All the time this was going on, I had that lovely black cock in my hand and I made love to with my mouth. I watched as Josh fucked and fucked and fucked me. I could hear all the moans and all the nasty talk. The Black kid was telling me what a great hot mouth I had. Josh was calling me all kinds of filthy dirty names that seemed to excite me (if possible) more. He called me a nasty slut who can't get enough cock. He called me his sex toy; he called me his hot sloppy cunt that will never get enough cock.

I sat there watching as I worked myself into a frenzy fucking him hard. He came in me and pushed hard to get every last drop deep inside of me. I had another very hard long climax as he did that. He finely pulled out of me and the black kid moved into replace him. Josh in the mean time moved up on the bed and over to my head. I heard him tell me "Clean it bitch, clean off your cum." I opened my mouth and took his now half-limp dick in my mouth. I licked, sucked, and worked at his dick getting every last drop from it. There was no doubt about it in my mind at least, I was so fucking turned on, I would have licked his cock if he had just pulled it out of my asshole. Watching all this had an effect on me, I was now hot as hell and I ached to touch myself. However as bad as I wanted to, I knew I had to act as if I was mad. I sure as hell could not let this kid know I was at that point right then. I could not let him know I wanted to fuck the first man that I could get a hold of. I watched as two more men came in the room and they quickly got undressed. The black guy fucking me told the others to watch him fuck my ass. He had hold of my ankles way above my head. He said "Hold your toes baby, keep it wide open for daddy." By then I had cleaned off Josh and I grabbed for my toes. I held them and kept my legs straight. The guy pulled his cock out of my pussy and guided it to my butt hole.

Now Ron and I have been doing anal sex since day one, In fact there are times that I get some of my strongest climaxes from being fucked in my ass hole. I watched as he eased himself into me. I wanted to close my eyes and try and find a memory (any memory) of what his cock felt like. My problem was, I could not. Oh sure I could close my eyes and try, but what I could not do was find any memory of last night. I watched as he worked me slowly at first then faster and faster. I watched him climax and bury his cock deep inside of me. I was screaming out words of love and lust at him for taking me to that wonderful place of bliss. Of course the other boys were not exactly standing around just watching. They were masturbating while they waited their turns, they were all very vocal. They were telling him to "fuck the bitch," "Make her scream" "Rock her world" They also told him to hurry up, and not to be such a big hog of the nasty pig.