... continued from chapter 9a
"Look, you can just sit here and watch the others parasail. It's like watching TV." Abe said when Jessica looked unhappy.
"We'll keep you company." Leah said as she, Amanda, Justine and Sara came to join Jessica and Abe.
"Thanks." Jessica said. She tried to smile at the girls but she looked down at her hands instead, guilt sweeping over her again. She felt like she'd been talking behind their backs.
Abe looked at Jessica, surprised by her reaction. Looking at the girls he found them studying Jessica's lowered head. Leah nodded at Abe to indicate things were okay, and then motioned for him to feed Jessica.
"Josh sure doesn't like heights, does he?" Leah asked laying back onto the blanket beside Jessica and watching as he sailed into the air but looked really tense.
"No, he's terrified of them." Jessica said while chewing. "Um Abe, I'm really not hungry. My stomach is kind of upset." She added when Abe glared at her.
"Is this the stress induced stomach upset?" Amanda asked and smiled when Jessica flashed her eyes up at her in surprise. "We know Jessica, all about the conversations you've had with Caleb, Don and Quinn."
"We all know." Abe added when Jessica looked at him. "Especially the part where you don't think you have an eating disorder. Sorry," he added. He'd said it more sharply than he'd intended and Jessica shrank a little, "I didn't mean it to sound quite like that. What I meant was that we know that you don't feel like eating and when you're stressed you vomit. That could be part of an eating disorder you know ..."
"I guess." Jessica acknowledged and reluctantly took another bite of the sandwich that Abe held up for her.
"The question," Amanda said, "is why you feel stressed. You've been looking at us," she said indicating Sara, Leah, Justine and herself, "like you've hurt us somehow and don't know how to apologize. We're on vacation, you should be happy, relaxed."
"Jess?" Sara prompted when Jessica didn't look like she was going to respond.
"I guess I'm worried about you Amanda, and about Mark and Chris ..." she added flicking her eyes between Justine and Abe, "I know about that ... I'm not sure who else does ..."
"Just me." Justine said quickly and looked panicked for a moment.
Jessica nodded. "That's why I feel stressed." She said when Abe, Leah, Sara and Amanda looked between Justine and her with curiosity. "I feel like I know things that maybe I shouldn't and I haven't had time to talk to you about it. It feels awkward."
"Like you're the middle man?" Justine asked.
Jessica nodded.
"We're a family Jess. We don't have secrets from each other, remember?" Justine asked. "Whatever Mark and Chris tell you is okay with me. It's just like they don't mind me talking to you about them. So, don't be upset or stressed about it. Okay?"
"Okay." Jessica said.
When Abe, Leah, Sara and Amanda kept looking at Justine in anticipation she sighed. "Alright. Fine. It's my fantasy to see the two of them have sex. We were talking about fantasies last night and I made the mistake of telling them that and they freaked."
"Shit." Abe hissed.
"Mark and Chris?" Leah asked. "You know Chris will never do that ..."
"That's why it's called a fantasy." Justine said in a defensive tone. "I said it before I thought it through. I wish I hadn't, trust me."
"Did Mark tell you that he's not getting over the rape?" Jessica asked.
"Yes. And that's where I made my second mistake. I thought that since Scott helped you with sex, maybe Mark and Chris doing it would help Mark."
"Justine!" Leah exclaimed. "Chris is a homophobe. How would forcing him to have sex with Mark make anything better?"
"I know, I know." Justine said. "And you can stop looking at me like that." Justine snapped at Abe, "It was stupid. I was desperate, what can I say?"
"What can you say about what?" Chris asked. Jessica, Abe, and the girls looked up to find Chris, Mark, Caleb, Don, Quinn, Jim and Angus.
"About our ... situation." Justine said.
"Oh." Chris said and turned red. Mark paled.
"Situation?" Quinn asked and did a double take when Chris turned even redder.
"Why don't you have some lunch." Jessica said desperate to break the awkwardness and spare Chris the humiliation.
Chris smiled at Jessica, "Always trying to protect people, aren't you?"
"This isn't something we need to be talking about right now." Jessica said, "And it makes you uncomfortable ... you're turning red ..." she added when Chris raised an eyebrow.
"Kind of like you did when I let everyone listen to you have sex?" Chris asked. "I think I can handle a bit of humiliation Jess. Justine has a fantasy about Mark and I having sex." Chris said turning bright red and looking at his feet.
"I shouldn't have said anything ..." Justine muttered in despair.
"You were being honest." Jessica said when no one said anything. "That's what we're supposed to be. And you shouldn't be embarrassed about your fantasies but there are other ways to experience your fantasies without having to actually act them out."
"How's that?" Chris asked.
"Well, you can imagine them." Jessica said. "Someone's fantasy doesn't have to be acted on exactly."
"That's true." Mark said, relief evident in his voice.
"So, we've talked now." Leah said, "Are you less stressed? Can you look us in the eye again?" she asked Jessica, indicating the other girls and herself.
"Um., well there's still you Amanda. I'm worried about you. Starving and purging doesn't count as a diet regime. I really think you need to stop." Jessica said.
Amanda nodded. "Okay." She said. "And now that you have no more stress, you can eat, right?"
Jessica hesitated. She didn't believe for a second that Amanda would stop vomiting but she didn't feel this was the right time to pursue it. She'd find a better time to push the point. Eyeing the sandwich in Abe's hand with dread she said "It doesn't taste good."
"The sandwich?" Abe asked in surprise, "Why didn't you say so, I can give you something else."