My arrival in the village of Little Standing had been quite a success, sexually speaking. In three days, I had fucked three women and my manservant (to use an old term for the penis) had been fiddled about with by a manservant! * Not bad going. Just to clarify things I would describe myself as 75% heterosexual. I spent my adolescence at an English Public (that's a private to the rest of the world) Boys school so my sexual awakening was alongside 250 others in the same boat. I'm also involved with the artsy side of life. So, you know, things happen. Generally, though, I seek out women but if any other thing else comes along at the apposite moment well, who am I to refuse?
My luncheon date with Lady Penelope Standing had been a particular hit, the action following the meal especially. Lady Standing had performed an ancient legal (she claimed) welcoming ceremony that involved some very medieval ideas about the treatment of the commoner by the entitled. After this I had wiped myself down with the towel that Marston (that's the manservant) thoughtfully provided and dressed again as he did the same. The robe he'd worn, briefly, was a sodden mess but he'd stowed my set of clothing next to his on one of the benches in the chamber we had used for the ceremony.
The butler made short work of seeing me out of the large front doors, returning to his typical detached persona; just as if I had not seen him shoot a big load of cum over his Mistress and myself not twenty minutes before. His farewell was quite warm and friendly, however, and it was with a jaunty, post coital, step that I headed homewards.
Lady Penelope's home, the "Big House" according to my cleaner, Mrs. Carter (who had been my second fuck,) ** stood high at the Northern end of the valley that protected and isolated Little Standing. All of it lay at the feet of the Big House; behind said house was the open moorland that surrounded the valley. The first building I passed was the Church and its picturesque Vicarage. The old families kept themselves in good with God.
I passed by but did notice a shapely, and obviously female, bottom clad in faded jeans. The owner of this bottom was on her hands and knees in a piece of garden to the South side of the Vicarage, seemingly attacking the weeds with a trowel and a lot of vehemence, but I could not see her face as she wore a large sun hat.
I continued the journey down the steep incline ignoring the little lane that which ran beside the churchyard and, indirectly, to my own house. The cross roads lay below me and the turn to the right was the steep way to my new home. It was around four in the afternoon and few people were about. I knew the pub, to the left, was open as a couple of folks sat outside it on wooden bench-tables keeping half an eye on a little group of sprogs playing a makeshift game of cricket on the large village Green. They looked like Townies to me and I should know as I'm as about the biggest Townie going.
I'd put off going to the pub so far as I was a little wary of being the new guy from "The Smoke" barging in on the locals. However, Lady Pee (as I was coming to think of her - see previous chronicle for details) had assured me that the "locals" didn't bite. I thought I could blend in with these other outsiders and get a feel for the atmosphere of the place until I had tested this assertion. So, I went in to the Standing Arms.
I needn't have worried. The pub's smaller room was mainly set up for dining and the lunch service was clearly over as it was empty. There was a bigger bar to the right of the entrance that was solely for drinkers. I went in and there was a momentary pause in the muted conversations but, focusing solely on the barman, I strode to the counter and I ordered what I knew to be a locally brewed cask ale. He seemed to approve of the choice and I quietly mentioned I'd take the pint outside to enjoy the weather. Again, he gave a muted approval then turned back to the solo drinker sat at the end of the bar to resume conversation. A pair of elderly gents, drinking what seemed to be cider, sat at another small table just inside the door and I nodded to them, receiving the same cautious nod back.
I'd had wine and water with Lady Penelope because it had been her intention to load my bladder prior to our recent ceremony. She even, I'm pretty sure, had had the food well salted to increase my thirst - which Marston made sure was easily slaked. I'd well and truly drained myself of that lot (all over the pair of them) so the first half of my pint was gone in two gulps. I let that settle then finished the rest in a leisurely fashion. I returned to the bar and ventured a little further chat. I asked about the usual opening times and when was the place busiest and so on. The Landlord, Mr. Jolly as he turned out to be, seemed pleased in my interest then asked me the inevitable question in his rumbling, blurry West Country accent.
"So, are you the Gent what's bought the old Colonel's place, then?"
I confirmed this and then he asked if it was correct that I'd been to see Lady Penelope today. My look of surprise at this knowledge amused him.
"Don't worry, Sir. I'm not prying, but not much escapes the notice of people around here. News soon spreads of peoples' doings. We always sniff out the truth," he added, with an emphasis on "sniff" and a slightly smug grin. This last remark brought a couple of suppressed sniggers from the pair of old men by the door.
I smiled along and made an inane remark about better minding my P's and Q's. This too seemed to elicit laughter and the Landlord said, "Oh, very good, sir!" I smiled again, a bit bemused, and went back out again to the sunshine. As I pulled the door shut behind myself, I thought I heard the solo drinker say,
"He'll fit in, all right."
As I sat in the sunshine, I replayed the conversation twice before the penny dropped. What helped was the sun settling on my trousers and heating them. I caught a distinct whiff of urine and realized that the cuffs of my trousers must have got a bit of a soaking despite Marston's best efforts. My comment about "Pee's" had also been taken to have a deeper meaning than I intended. It seemed that the ceremony, and my role in it, was a well-known item of gossip already. God knows how, I thought.
Once I'd finished the second pint, I politely returned the glass inside and bid the Landlord goodbye. No more comments came my way and I puffed my way up the steep side to my house, hoping that I'd soon get used to the hilly terrain. The rest of the day consisted of a second shower, a meal, a little more alcohol and, finally, some very deep sleep. For some reason I dreamed of fountains.
xxxx