"Women are just inherently more attractive than men."
"That's such bullshit . You only think that because you're a straight guy who hasn't got the imagination to grasp other people might not think like you. I can think of plenty of attractive men."
"Sure. But you can also think of plenty of hot women too."
"Yeah, but I don't fancy them."
"I never said you did, but you admit they're hot."
"What and you can't see that Brad Pitt or George Clooney are hot."
"I suppose, but I don't really think about them."
"I don't think about hot women either."
"But it's not such a reach for you is it?"
"What isn't?"
"Well, kissing another woman, a hot one. Making out a little."
"That's such a bullshit male fantasy. You think every time your back is turned, Becky and I have pillow fights in our lingerie before making out on the bed?"
"Don't you?"
"No! God. You're infuriating."
"Well, what about girls in clubs?"
"What girls? What clubs?"
"Just normal clubs. Plenty of times I've seen girls, straight girls kissing in front of a bunch of guys."
"Yeah, well, you know they're only doing that to turn those guys on? They don't really mean it."
"Of course. But they still do it. Guys would never do that, not even if there was guaranteed sex at the end."
Becky watched James and Amanda sparring and just sat there sipping her drink. She was pretty sure that James was only saying these things to get a rise out of Amanda and that Amanda was enjoying it really. It was almost like old times, almost. But there was definitely an edge there now, a sexual tension tinged with darker hues of jealousy and betrayal.
The three of them had been friends for ever. Both girls had fancied James for as long as they could remember.
When they'd been in their early teens, old enough for lust but not old enough for consummation, it has been fun to share an obsession.
Later it had made them rivals. They had fallen out over James plenty of times but never seriously enough to threaten their friendship, at least not until last summer. James had kissed and held hands with both girls over the years, as the three of them, each in their separate ways had slowly built up confidence in physical intimacy.
But Becky had always had the edge. She was smaller and darker than her blonde, outgoing friend. Amanda was the one you noticed first and the more obviously pretty but something about Becky just seemed to draw James in.
Amanda had resisted for a while but by the time they had reached sixth form she had yielded to the inevitable. Besides she was a good looking girl and there were plenty of other boys to flirt and dance with.
Often, the four of them would hang out, Becky, Amanda, James and whoever Amanda was currently hooked up with. They would squeeze into the ancient Volvo James had inherited from a brother off to university and bump down the country lanes to the Ship or some other dilapidated establishment not overly concerned with IDs to drink ciders in a beer garden by the river.
But the attraction between James and Amanda had never really gone away either. Sometimes Becky would catch them looking at each other as they shared a cigarette or gossipped about friends. And they were always arguing about something; politics, music, sex.
Many a night would be dominated by James and Amanda good naturedly taking stripes out of each other down by the river as the sun slipped behind the hills, while Becky and Tom, Chris, Duncan or whoever it was this time could barely get a word in.
Becky was sure it was one of the reasons none of Amanda's relationships ever lasted.
But for all the attraction between James and Amanda, nothing ever took place between them. James and Becky broke up for other reasons.
It was the summer of their A Levels and the stress had been getting to Becky. To make things worse James was never around. She might have suspected Amanda but Amanda and Becky had been closeted together for weeks going over their revision.
Becky eventually discovered that James had been selling weed to some kids in the lower sixth and she was furious. She didn't mind the odd smoke now and again but to actually take the step of selling it, becoming a drug dealer and to seventeen year olds as well? No matter they were themselves only a year older.
Her objection wasn't so much moral, she didn't see James ruining anyone's life with an eighth of soapy hashish, but it was the sheer irresponsibility of it that got her. Risking expulsion or even prison time for a few faded tenners.
The timing hadn't helped either. With exams looming she couldn't believe he was wasting his time like this. The truly annoying thing, the bit she hadn't shared with James, was that he was so Goddamed smart he probably could cruise to straight As with minimal work whereas she was having to sweat hard for an A and a couple of Bs.
They'd had it out that night. Becky had been histrionic. She'd been tired and stressed and had lost all control. She'd laid down an ultimatum, her or the drugs.
He'd chosen her but within a week she found out he was still at it.
She'd calmly called him that night and told him it was over.
This was about six weeks before the exams and in the maelstrom of it all she hadn't really had time to deal with how she felt about it all.
But then when the ink was dry on her final paper and she finally came up for air, she found James had got it together with a girl called Sally from his chemistry class. Becky was devastated.
Amanda had immediately rallied round. It was the start of the last long golden summer before they all went to university and Amanda was damned if James was going to ruin it for her friend. Amanda was almost as angry with James as Becky was.
It was a summer of parties. With the stress of exams over, they all felt the sudden rush of liberation from any sense of responsibility for a few short glorious months. The weather was good and everything was heightened by the sting of imminent separation and the thrill of not knowing what came next.
It felt strange not to share it with James. Stranger still to see him at parties with Sally and have to force herself not to talk to him. But Becky was a bright girl, a sensible girl and she looked to the future.
Encouraged by Amanda she danced and flirted with the boys, eventually summoning the courage to let Duncan take her home after one party. His parents had gone to Corfu for a fortnight leaving him with a free house. He had thrown two parties already, doubtless with more to come, but that night it was just him and Becky.
