My darling,
It seems like you've been in New Zealand forever. Just how much business can you generate out there? Not that I'm sitting around doing nothing - with the two boys that's unlikely - but even with one or two of my best loves nearby to help, I am missing your touch. I need you home. It's seems so bland and everyday when we talk on the phone. I wanted to express something more real to you so I decided to write. I'll e-mail it as an attachment as soon as it's finished. Distance puts such a chasm between us.
You asked if I've been telling stories to anyone else and, believe it or not, when I read those words I understood for the first time that although you've made a storyteller of me, you are the ears, the critic, the recipient of the sensuous pleasures my stories communicate. I fulfil my history through you. After all you are one of the key players in my tales. No, no-one else has been listening to them.
You may remember two key storylines that are in danger of getting lost in the marsh mist of late spring's almost-frosts.
The first was my wish to be alone with Dave to discover a better relationship with him that would manage his fears and guilt. Will Dave accept the love he has found and must share without remorse? He and I are thrust together to accept our fate without hurt to others. That is the skill and the challenge, but we will win through. There they are now, can you see, ready to step out onto the apron of the stage and play their parts. Let them perform, then, for us both.
And they are both prepared to be what they are here for: the mutual pleasuring of happy human beings. What more can there be? Unless it's a good bottle of red wine, a roll of goat's cheese and, circles within circles, the love of a partner you respect enough to melt with? And to share.
The second phial of aphrodisia will be the story of how Jenny got together with Lyn and Ben and how she subsequently inveigled Sam and James to play a part that would grow to involve all the players to their ultimate bliss. Read on, my love, as the spinning wheel spins its reveries...
Gail, Ben and Clare set off for Leicester to a fictitious date. It would be lunch and shopping, nothing more. I got out of bed and watched their car go off down the drive.
I padded softly down the stairs unsure just where Dave was at this hour. Peeping my head round the corner of the study I saw him with his back to me at the desk working on the computer. I crept up and put my hands on his shoulder. He knew it was me.
Dave spun the office chair round to face me. Gently he put one hand on my tummy and said:
'How are you this morning? Feeling better?'
'I won't ever lie to you, Dave,' I began. 'There wasn't anything wrong with me last night. Gail and Ben and Clare have just gone off for the day to leave us alone. Don't be mad at them, it's what I wanted.' However badly this went it was important to me that Dave could see my total honesty before him. We were, of course, both naked. My skin seemed to tense, go slightly goose-pimply even, and my nipples hardened. Dave's cock was now pointing up at me, but neither of us found this unusual.
'Why?' he asked.
'I think you know why, Dave,' I said firmly, placing my hands on his shoulders again as he faced me. I looked straight at him, but smiled encouragingly. 'There's something we need to sort out, isn't there?'
'Yes,' said Dave, 'there is. Don't you understand why I have kept away from you?'
'No, it hurts, you hurt me when you ignore me. Gail and Clare have no worries about being with me whenever I wish or they want to. Ben expects me to be pleasured by all the family, including you, you know.'
'Yes,' Dave faltered, 'ever since the first time you were better than anything in my life. My sense of satisfaction and of love seems too dangerous to unleash in case it wrecks everything. When I see you or touch you I want you. Deep down as we talk, I even want to have you now. It's ever since you made me beat you, Bobs, I've never had sexual pleasure as I have with you, not even with Sarah or Gail. You make me want to have you all for myself and that is wrong.' Dave looked to the floor ashamed.
I tried to answer without destroying him. 'Yes, that would be wrong, and I won't allow that. I won't allow you to destroy everything you all have. What you all have is so wonderful, so rare, so arousing, you mustn't spoil it.'
'Help me, Bobs. What do you propose?'
I pulled a chair over from by the window and sat on it the wrong way round so my front and arms could rest on the chair back. 'I have two proposals,' I began. 'The first is that I should leave and not return. I said once that I wanted to blend into your family not throw a hand grenade into it. You're making me do just that and you're breaking your family's own principles by not sharing with me. Did you want to hurt my feelings?'
'No, you know I didn't and you know I don't want you to leave. Tell me the second proposal,' he said humbly.
'It's not so easy to put in place and it has three conditions attached. You have to promise too that you will stick by it.'
'Tell me, then, Bobs, tell me,' he implored me quietly, reaching out a hand.
I reached one out to him. 'I want you to have me at least three times per week, either by just coming up to me and asking, or by sleeping with me, taking a shower with me, doing me on the rug when the others are around - whatever you wish, but it must be at least as frequently as I have said. That would not be too out of place compared with how often I make love to Case and Gail. Obviously I I'm with Ben much more.'
I went on: 'To encourage you, if in any week you pleasure me more than three times, I will give you a point for each extra use of me. Points equal strokes of a beating. When you have collected twenty-five strokes, you will beat me.'
All Dave seemed able to say was: 'Twenty-five?'
'Yes. I need to make it just a little harder for you to get there!'
'But it will hurt a lot more, Bobs, twenty-five is tough.'
'I want it to thrill you,' I said simply. 'Your target is to get there for my birthday in October, understood?
'Yes. And the second condition?'
'You know you have always made family movies, ever since Ben and Case were small..well I would like you to make a film with your new camera of Ben and me making love. You know in a special place filmed from various angles, so we'd have to be filmed a few times and then you could edit it on your PC to make one erotic film for me. Could you do that, Dave?'
'I'd like to try, yes, I'd love to. What's the last condition, Bobs?'
'I love you but you have got some time to make up. You haven't touched me for over four weeks. Ben, Case and Gail won't be back until six, they promised. We've still got over seven hours. Use your imagination to the full, Dave, and make it up to me, make it up to me really thoroughly, how you really like to, how you imagine you do.' I pouted and winked at him. 'Smile, Dave, relax.'
For the first time in weeks I felt I had got him back again from where he had exiled himself.
Dave stood up and took hold of both my hands, pulling me to my feet. He took me in his arms and I pressed into him, grinding my pelvis into him.
'How many points can you score today, dad?' I whispered. I knew somehow that calling him 'dad' aroused him especially. He never told me how many points he would score.
'May I hurt you just a little?'