It took a long time to even gather my thoughts about how I feel about this, but even though I know I shouldn't, I can't help but write it out. I have a platonic friend, that I've known for years. Her husband is the best friend I have, I introduced him to her, and they are married with a newborn son. A smart and cute kid with an adorable smile and I genuinely couldn't be happier for them. Before her and her husband even got married, this friend and i didn't even get along.
But over the years, we got to a place of mutual friendship and understanding. The problems started for me once her and her husband had their first child. The problem is she became irresistibly attractive to me. She was always small and had a light build, but after she had my best friend's child, she... Started to catch my attention. I've known her for years, and never once in years have I even sneaked a peak to check her out. She's pretty, but wasn't my type and I just viewed her as a platonic friend. But that started to change when I first saw her after her baby was born.
It took a while to sink in, but I can remember the first time she walked down the stairs when I was visiting her and her husband, turned around and went to the kitchen, I noticed her butt had become much more pronounced. She had filled out to the exact proportions I have always fantasized about, and it truly, deeply, and strongly caught me off guard.
I looked at her figured, and properly checked her out for the the first time in almost a decade of knowing her. Before I could even react, I noticed myself getting hard thinking about her. The fact that she's likely lactating- something I always found mouthwatering- and how stunningly perfect and flawless her face was. It was followed by immediate forced self control. Obviously nothing I can ever act on, and probably just a fleeting thought that would pass. Just carnal desire, or so I thought.
Months went by, I sent her memes, she sent me memes. Nothing flirty, nothing even skirting inappropriate. But in a snap one day of her child, she sent her face and I just kind of blurted out how I had found her beautiful lately and had some devious thoughts. I knew I shouldn't have said it, but once it was out there, I felt relieved. I wouldn't ever have acted on my feelings, but telling her at the time, felt cathartic. Her and her husband had been on shaky ground due to his work, and even though it was wildly inappropriate, I could tell she needed, and I dare say even appreciated the attention.
The conversation didn't get out of hand, but she knew my thoughts, and we agreed the next day it was a mistake. We had shared some links, but knew we were pushing things to an unacceptable degree. I am less disciplined as I have less at stake, but she made the morally sound choice to end the conversation before things became irreparably damaged.
This had a strange effect on me however, because her decision to demonstrate loyalty, and overcome temptation and devious thoughts for the sake of her husband, (my friend) was commendable. She is a genuinely good person. And platonically it reinforced my wish for nothing but the best for the two of them as a couple. Unfortunately for my lust, I found that devotion even more arousing. I agreed to respect her boundaries, but I knew I'd write this to vent my thoughts. I pushed the envelope once again a few days later, trying to squeeze guilty answers out of her, like if the idea of what I desired turned her on or made her wet. Once and for the final time, she demonstrated the best kind of love and loyalty to the father of her child. I tried that night to contend myself to just fantasizing and getting off to her for closure, it was incredibly satisfying, and I came more than I even expected with my labido. It was beyond phenomenal. So wrong, but made me cum so hard and once again, I felt the sensation of being t-boned by an attraction I shouldn't ever, EVER, even discuss.
Less than 5 minutes later, I pictured her butt again in my mind. Pulling her pants down. Stroked myself and came again. Same amount, satisfying, powerful shots of cum, a lifetime of porn tabs couldn't bring me that kind of satisfaction. Unique, pleasant, powerful.