"Where are you going, baby?" I said. I didn't remember Max telling me that he had anywhere to go this morning. Weekend mornings were usually for us to play in bed together.
Max moved his hand off of my back. His arm had been over Terri to get to me. I was still snuggled up against Terri and facing Tommy.
Max was going to the bathroom. He came back into the room and he saw my eyes open. He started getting dressed.
Did Max know what Tommy and I did last night? Was he mad? Was he leaving? Had I finally asked for more than he was willing to give?
"Errands," he said quietly with a smile.
"Errands? What errands?" I said, "Wait, I'll go." When I moved, I felt Terri's arms hold me tighter and he kissed the side of my neck.
"No, baby," Max said, "You stay. You guys all stay. It's ok. Really."
"No, baby," I said a little panicked, "I don't want you to leave. Please don't think we don't want you...that I don't want you here. I do. Baby..."
"Relax," Max said standing at the foot of the bed caressing my foot that was laying on Terri's leg. "I haven't given you guys any time to catch up. Trust me. I want to do this."
"But we didn't...we don't...baby," I said, still flustered. Terri finally woke up and realized what was going on.
"Everything ok?" he asked Max.
"Yes," Max replied, "I'll be back this afternoon. I'm just going out. If you need anything let me know and I'll pick it up."
"Ok," Terri said. Ugh, why wasn't he worried like me? Guys were too laid back sometimes.
"Ok, baby," I said to Max, "I love you."
"I love you too!" he said sincerely, "Have fun...I can't wait to hear all about it."
He walked out of the bedroom and a minute later he walked out the apartment door. My heart sunk. I didn't want him to go anywhere. Why did he?
Tommy was still blissfully asleep. Terri relaxed, still cuddling me.
"What the fuck?" I said to Terri, turning to him.
"What?" he said, sincerely confused.
"Why did he leave?" I said and as soon as the words were real and in the air, my tears flowed.
"No, no babe, he didn't leave you," he said trying to sooth me, "It's just errands he said."
"Bullshit," I practically spat at him, my tears still streaming. "He left me with you both because he thought he wasn't wanted." I was having trouble breathing. I hadn't had a panic attack in a while but I knew the warning signs.
"I don't know, he seemed ok with it," Terri said, trying to push Tommy awake.
"Leave him," I yelled at Terri. "It's probably our fault..."
"Why?" Terri asked.
"He...we...last night...." I tried but couldn't continue.
"Look at me," Terri said and held me tighter, "I'm saying it's ok. It is."
I appreciated his effort, "But-" I started.
"No," Terri said even stronger, "Listen to me. Max loves you. Trust me. Since we've been here almost a whole week," he said, smacking Tommy's shoulder to try to get him awake for some back up, "Max has been nothing but supportive of you and us. He loves you. I can tell. It's the same stupid look I see on this idiot's face every time he looks at you!" He smacked Tommy's shoulder harder.
I looked in Terri's eyes, my tears still flowing.
"He's giving you space today. He's not leaving you. Relax," he said and finally Tommy started to rouse.
"Geez dude, about time," Terri smacked Tommy's shoulder again.
"What?" Tommy said and I rolled towards him with my tear streaked face. "Babe, oh, what?" he said, kissing my lips and rubbing my tear soaked cheeks.
"It's nothing," Terri said, "Max said he's running errands today and she's...she's..." He was afraid to say the wrong word for fear I'd freak out on him.
"Does he know?" Tommy asked me. See, he understood my fear.
"I don't know...I don't think so...I..." I couldn't continue the tears started again. Tommy put his hand on my chest and felt my heart beating like crazy.
"No babe, calm down, it's all right, Terri is right, Max loves you," he said, "I know I doubted it too when I first got here. I did. I couldn't imagine anyone could care as much about you as I did. As we did," he paused, "But he does....He does more than I...we did." He looked down.
"It's not a contest, babe," I said, lifting his chin to look back at me.
"It is," Tommy said, "And he won. He won you. He deserves you. All of you. No doubts. Don't make him pay for anyone else's mistakes." He made sense. Max had never given me reason to doubt his love. Not even once. He deserved me to take his word at face value and not read things into it that weren't there.
Tommy sensed I wasn't completely sold on it yet. "Call him," he said, "Now. Put it on speakerphone. He'll reassure you. He will. I know it."
"Yes?" I turned to Terri.
"Yes," Terri said. I climbed out of bed. Naked. We were all still naked. I grabbed my phone and climbed back between them. I called Max.
"Hi baby," he answered knowing it was me calling,
"Everything ok?"
"Yes, baby...I...Are you?...um..." I couldn't ask him. I couldn't accuse him of being an asshole. He wasn't. I was.
"Do you need me to get something?" he asked.
"Yes," I lied. I looked at Tommy and shrugged my shoulders. What did I or we need?
"What?" he asked. I could hear he was walking. I wondered where.
"Where are you?" I asked and realized I shouldn't have.
"Why are you calling?" he asked.
"I just wish you were here," I said truthfully.
"No, baby," he said, "I meant it. Relax. Have fun with your friends." I laughed. They were more than friends. We weren't going to paint our nails and eat bon bons. We were going to fuck each other's brains out in whatever way we could think of. How was he ok with this?
"Get some dessert for later," I thought up as a plausible excuse for calling.
"Ok," he said, "I'll find something you like. With whipped cream maybe?..."