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I'd been told that to be a successful, or at least popular musical group, you really need some sort of 'image' or 'gimmick' to catch people's attention.
Kiss, for example, had their outlandish make-up and costumes; the Mediaeval Baebes have their outfits to complement their musical style; and the 12 Girls Band from China uses traditional instruments and their cultural heritage to help promote their music.
How we ladies of St Alban's String Orchestra acquired our gimmick could only be classified as a freak of nature.
There were, and still are, eight of us. Three violinists--Eleanore, Catharine, and me, Ashlee; three viola players--Georgina, Helen, and Kleo; one bass violin, Melanie; and one double bass, Patricia.
I think all of us would be considered attractive women, but that didn't seem to be enough to generate enough listeners at our concerts. Not that the music wasn't good; it was--we are excellent, well-trained musicians.
But the beautiful concertos of Bach, Brahms, Chopin, and other great composers became harder and harder to share with a mainstream society inundated with the likes of rap, hip-hop, grunge, rock, and country.
Not that these aren't viable musical styles. It's just that so many of the classical composers evoke such romantic, evocative, exotic, and sometimes erotic music that we feel so many people are missing a vital experience.
Feeling the strains and vibrations of the chamber orchestra instruments as they fill and flow through one's body during a concert can almost be an orgasmic experience in itself.
However, I was about to tell you how St Alban's String Orchestra came by its image.
One day, last summer, we'd gathered together with our instruments for an outing to a rather secluded spot near the Rocky Mountains where we could rehearse our music in the tranquility of Nature, and perhaps get some new publicity photos taken.
That was something I usually had to do and, needless to say, I didn't manage to appear in too many of the posters. But, that didn't really bother me since I didn't think anyone was even looking at the posters anyways.
"Let's go, ladies!" I called out as I boarded the small, yellow bus I'd hired to drive for the day.
It was mid-morning, and I wanted to be at our rehearsal spot by noon at the latest.
As First Violinist, I not only acted as leader of the group, but I'd also volunteered to be spokesman. So getting things done, with the help from some other volunteer women, was primarily my responsibility.
We set all our instruments in their cases carefully at the rear of the bus, and then the ladies settled down in various seats as I took my place behind the steering wheel.
I started the engine, revved it lightly a few times, slipped into gear, and then we were on our way.
Conversation continued light and animated amongst the girls for a while until I heard Eleanore say with exasperation, "Oh, great! Look over there!"
Since I couldn't see where she was apparently pointing, I glanced to either side of me. Then I saw, in the distance, what had caught her attention.
Rain clouds.
"Don't worry," I yelled back. "You know what the weather's usually like around here. It'll probably sprinkle a bit, and then blow over."
A chorus of agreement sprouted from several of the other women, and I felt rather confident that by the time we reached out destination, the sun would indeed be shining bright and warm and clear.
Not!
By the time we were only a few minutes from our spot, the sky had grown rather dark. Spatters of rain hit my front window, and I turned on the wipers.
Probably a quick shower, I reasoned.
A few moments later, the whole sky must have opened up, as a deluge of water crashed down on the bus and everywhere around us.
I couldn't see where I was going, and the next moment, I felt the rear end of the bus sliding sideways towards the embankment. Some of the women screamed with fright, but I compensated for the movement, and then stopped the bus.
Rain drummed incessantly against the tin shell like the little hammers of the dwarfs in Richard Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen.
Water began to seep through the windows and cracks in the roof, and I realized I hadn't hired a particularly waterproof bus.
"Listen up, ladies!" I yelled above the noise of the peltering rain. "There's a shack several hundred yards across the field. If we're going to get wet in here, we might as well make a run for the place, get wet outside, and dry off in there."
"What about our instruments?" complained Patricia. "They'll get wet, too!"
"One way or another," I replied as I glanced at the ever-widening wet spots forming above us, "they're going to get wet. Take them, or leave them. Your choice. But, if we take them, we can probably rehearse a bit while we wait for the rain to stop."
Everyone seemed pretty much in agreement, and we quickly gathered up our instruments. Then, with me helping Patricia carry her double-bass, and Eleanore toting the bass with Mel, we scrambled as fast as we could for the shack.
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Drowned rats couldn't have looked more drenched than we did once we entered the shelter of the shack. Someone turned on the lights, and we looked at each other laughed. Thoroughly soaked, our clothes stuck to us like label paper, and those of us with long hair looked more bedraggled than those with short.