"Happy birthday, Nessie!" Mrs. Bauer called over her shoulder, departing arm-in-arm with her husband as he shimmied his steps to zip up his fly. The balding deli clerk had impatiently waited for the singing, presents, and cake to conclude so that the real reason everyone attended these festivities could begin. Then he'd hunched over me, sweating and stroking as I knelt in my birthday suit, until he went rigid and drizzled a warm, stringy load over my left eyebrow and cheek.
My singed-caramel skin was already spattered with the underwhelming climaxes of my family's mailman and my old school bus driver, making Mr. Bauer the third "marker" of my womanhood for the day. Some girls were lucky to only have 5 or 10 guys from town show up for their 18th birthday party -- but my dad was the former mayor, and I was cursed with unhideable F-cup tits above my slim waist. So my party was more of a backyard bash, and the streamer-strewn canopy my mother had ordered was packed with half the guys in town.
My little blue cushion at the center of the crowd was from my gymnastics days, and offered *some* comfort while every neighbor and family friend I'd ever met jostled for position around me. Mostly they put on polite faces and offered well-wishes, trying to get my attention before their trembling balls spat runny seed over my shoulders and hair. They'd been dreaming of this day for as long or longer than I'd been dreading it. But it was tradition, and much like at my graduation, my mother was beaming with pride and snapping endless keepsake photos on her phone. I wasn't looking forward to the album she'd eventually compile and share with future boyfriends, if dad ever let me have one.
"H-hi Nessa," I heard a familiar, asthmatic voice stammer to my right, as I stopped a dribble of Mr. Bauer's cum from stinging my left eye. I peered up to see Hatham, a boy who'd graduated with me, unbuttoning his husky-waisted khakis as he reached the center of the testosterone-overloaded ring of guests. He was the archetypal case of lusting out of his league, having asked me out twice over the course of high school. I'd tried to let him down gently both times, but it seemed he'd at least have his consolation prize, anyway.
"Hi Hatham," I smiled weakly. There was no natural place to put my hands. I wanted to cover my tits, but that would just make everything take longer -- most of my party guests clearly thought they made great targets. So I rested my palms on my thighs, which were plumping together over my folded knees as I sat like a mother hen warming her nest.
"Happy... Happy birthday. I got you that N.E.R.D album you like... On vinyl," he mouth-breathed, slipping his little red pecker out as he spoke and starting to stroke it. I'd never felt more awkward in my entire short life.