The open house was set to begin in an hour and Salumeh showed up to meet the homeowners. She was a lot more nervous than usual. Not because the homeowners were bad people. As a middle-aged couple, the homeowners were as sweet as can be.
She was nervous because they were nudists at heart and this suburban home was practically a nudist safe haven. And she was excited because she practically (and secretly) idolized them.
This was also her first time meeting them. Her boss at the Realtor company had made the last minute assignment after an abrupt scheduling conflict. Adaptability is the key to success, her boss had said.
After ringing the doorbell with her briefcase in hand, the door opened and she was greeted by a naked man with long grey hair in his late 50's. The man was a legend in the world of pornography -- the classy, hardcore kind -- both as a performer and behind the scenes as a director. The man's wife was also in the business as a producer and manager.
"Hi, I'm Salumeh," she said with her bubbly personality and a friendly handshake. "I'll be your new agent and I'll be handling the prospective buyers for today's open house."
For the first time in her career, she was genuinely star struck meeting a client. To her, this man was bigger than any celebrity on the planet.
"I'm Jonathan," the man replied with his own jovial attitude. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Salumeh responded with an unnecessary whisper. "The pleasure is all mine. I'm a fan of your work. So it's great meeting you, even under these circumstances."
She faintly gestured to his penis and they shared a laugh. It was clear that Jonathan was used to getting these sorts of secret compliments.
He patted her on the shoulder, still chuckling. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I seem to have fans in all walks of life, though no one wants to publicly admit it. That's the repressed world we live in, I suppose."
"Yeah, I actually grew up watching your... ah... never mind. Now I'm embarrassing myself."
He laughed. "Don't be embarrassed, my dear. It was a biology lesson. Please, come inside. We can talk some more."
They entered, and although Salumeh was prepared to encounter such brazen nudity, she was still taken aback by the cavalier attitude of this client with his penis exposed so freely. More importantly, she prayed that none of the other neighbors saw this.
After making further introductions, Salumeh made a quick visual inspection of the spacious living room.
The home was exactly like Salumeh had seen in the pictures. It was a Spanish style design. True to the character of the homeowners, the place looked like it was inhabited by hippies and naturists. There were dried incense and candles by the fireplace. There were paintings of people in the nude. There were sculptures of what appeared to be religious artifacts from around the world.
It was easily the liberal-minded home and client that Salumeh had ever encountered in all her years of working in this business.
"Are you up to speed on everything?" Jonathan asked.
"Just about. I looked over the details of this home and the credit history of the potential buyers. Everything is looking good."
"Great, because I can understand why this would be a little tricky for you."
Salumeh's eyes naturally gravitated down to the man's hanging penis, before she managed to bring her eyes upwards again. Being a fan was one thing, but seeing a guy's dick while trying to focus on business was something else entirely.
"It's no problem at all," she smiled. "We're all adults here. But I did have some questions about the remodeling done in your kitchen and bathrooms. Do you mind if I have a look?"
Jonathan looked dumbfounded for a moment. "Dressed like that?"
She looked down at her buttoned up blazer and office skirt. She also wore stockings and heels. It was a standard outfit for many professional women in realty. Admittedly, she wore something a little more expensive than she'd normally wear, given the price range the clients were looking for.
"Is something wrong with my outfit?" she asked, looking back at him.
"It's just fine if you're outside. But this is my home. It's my castle. I literally built this place with my body, mind and soul. I designed it and I helped the builders lay the foundation and hammer the nails."
"What exactly are you saying?"
"This home is a nudist temple," the man said, which seemed to make his penis slightly twitch. "Clothes are strictly forbidden. I even had the painters and carpet installers do their work naked. Granted, I had to pay them a large amount of money to do so. But still, you can't put a price on principle."
Salumeh stood there stunned for a moment. She knew that Jonathan wouldn't budge on the matter. Hippies never budge on their beliefs. The brief emails and phone conversations with her boss also clicked in her mind. All those notices and warnings weren't hyperbole after all.
Her boss was known for being demanding and getting things done at all costs, as long as it was legal. In the office, everyone was constantly being pushed to make strong deals and get the best prices possible. It was why their realty firm was so successful.
She put on a brave smile. "Can you excuse me for a second? I'll be right back."
"I hope I'm not scaring you away before the showing. I had spoken with this at length with Kimberly."
"Oh, I got the message," she replied, continuing her smile. "I just need to clarify something. I'll just be in my car for a moment."
With the bright smile still plastered on her face, she did something she had never done before in her career, which was to slowly walk backwards towards the door, before hurrying to her car.
***
She was parked across the street and she practically hopped inside, tossing her briefcase to the passenger seat. She whipped out her phone and prayed that her boss, who was on a trip to New York, would answer the phone. After a few rings, her prayer was answered.
"Salumeh, how are you?" Kimberly asked with a mischievous tone in her voice. "It's around 9 am where you are. Are you at the property?"
"I am, actually. I'm in my car right now. I've met the owner already. Sweet guy."
"How are you handling everything so far?"
Salumeh took a second to formulate her words. "Well, I was just speaking with the owner while his penis was exposed the entire time. And I just realized what you meant in the emails and our conversations."
"Ah, I'm assuming you've gotten to the naked part."
"Yes, the naked part. He's adamant about that."
"Like I had pointed out," Kimberly said, hiding her giggles. "Did you not believe me?"
"I thought it was an exaggeration."
"Have I ever exaggerated with rich clients? Jonathan is hardcore in his beliefs, which I actually have to respect. Good for him for sticking to his core values."
"Let me ask you something," Salumeh started off. "Is your trip really an emergency? Or did you want to skip out on this job after realizing that Jonathan is a devout nudist."
Only because of their close friendship which had developed over the years, Salumeh was able to strike an accusatory tone with her boss.
Kimberly giggled. "I'm attending a big conference tomorrow. You knew about that. Jonathan's open house was originally scheduled a few days ago, but he had to push it back because of an unrelated emergency. I thought I could get this job done, but time wouldn't allow it."
"Why me?"
"Because you know how to sell a house. Why else?"
"I mean, why
me
?" Salumeh asked again. "You usually assign the big deals to the other realtors."
