I was shocked when she agreed to visit the resort! I immediately booked the room and flight!
A year earlier, any hotwife fantasy I expressed was met with a solid "not a chance." Here we are a year later expecting to party naked at one of the world's most famous swinger resorts.....but with a boundary. Under no circumstances were we going engage in sexual activity with other people, either as a couple or individually. If anyone asked us to play, we would be saying "no, we do not play."
Jamie did express a concern that I was setting her up to be tempted. Well, the truth is, I was. She called me out on it, and made me promise that even if she was wanting to play, I was to have the strength to say no.
I agreed I would say no. That said, I also indicated that minds change with time, but that once we set foot on the resort, if she had not changed her mind, then that was the result she could expect. And if she had a moment of overwhelming desire in the resort and I stopped any potential non-monogamous lifestyle activity, under no circumstances did I want to be chastised for taking that action later on.
We also had further conversations. It's one thing to have physical sex. What about things like kissing? Touching? Having sex ourselves in front of others? Masturbating where others might see? What if we befriended another couple and invited them to the hot tub? What about risqué games the resort sponsored that might have some brief touching in some way when naked? What if she wanted to kiss another woman, but not have sex with her? Previously Jamie had expressed desires to explore and experience another woman.
After discussing a variety of scenarios, everything the resort had to offer was fully okay with Jamie, except non-monogamous sexually touching situations that would lead to orgasm or resulted in orgasm. Playfully touching situations such as a game sponsored by the resort did not cause her concern, and nor did anything involving she and I touching ourselves or each other regardless of any onlookers.
I thought to myself, "Great! I understand her boundaries and will do as she requested." But I also reminded her she had until we stepped on the property to change her mind or refine her thoughts if she felt differently later on.
As the months passed, we had fun buying and trying on very sexy outfits to wear at the resort parties. But there was also a significant amount of unexpected activity and expenses going on in Jamie's personal life. Our marriage is a second marriage for both of us, so for the most part, we keep separate finances. She was becoming quite stressed at some expenses that seemed out of her control.
As a result of events taking place in the lives of her children, Jamie racked up thousands of dollars in credit card bills. I assisted her numerous times over the years with financial matters, especially during Covid when she lost her job. But with the cost of this trip and expenses I had, I was also now tapped, and I could not easily find the money to relieve her stress. With some juggling, however, I could get the money, but it was highly unconventional and not particularly in anyone's best financial interest. If I had to do it, I could.
Then an idea hit me as I watched Jamie getting increasingly excited for our trip. Even though she is telling me 'No' to any swinger or hotwife lifestyle activity, I can sense that she had been thinking about it, and in the back of her mind imagining it in a pleasurable way, if not outright desiring it. Especially as she researched the resort and chat sites online herself.
I know my wife. She loves sex, and our sex life and communication are excellent. While we are both highly committed to each other, I communicated with her that my biggest fantasy is to see her in situations where carnal lust and desire completely consume her, where she just has to have it now with anyone she wants! My greatest desire was to see her at that point of no return, where all lady-like pretense and rules stop, and she becomes a determined sexually hungry slut seeking satisfaction at all costs. And then she acts on it! I can think of nothing more beautiful than a woman in heat, especially when that woman is my sexy gorgeous wife, seeing her filled and fully satisfied.
When we were talking one day about all this, I teased her about having a few young stud boyfriends who were highly interested in her. She quietly commented that if I knew what she was thinking, it might scare me. Knowing how promiscuous she was before we married, my imagination quickly ran wild giving me an instant hard on! But I also know she has expressed an interest in making it with a woman, so maybe that is what she meant? I would have no issue either way. While she was much closer to a hotwife date than a year earlier, she wasn't ready to cross the line as a happily and dedicated married woman. And she may never cross that line.
Was it fear holding her back, fear of liking it too much? Or fear of what I might think if she let loose? Was it guilt holding her back? If it was guilt, what was there to be guilty about? What could be more right than seeking your own pleasure, while at the same time giving your husband one of his greatest fantasies?
I can understand these feelings, especially as women in our society undergo a lifetime of mental programming, guilting, and shaming if they act in any way sexual against society's rules. I can also understand it takes time to step past that. Sometimes though, we overthink situations, and once we dive in, it turns out our emotions were just a mirage holding us back from dreams and fantasies we really want.
With just two months remaining before our new trip, I considered making Jamie an offer. It would be up to her if she wanted to accept it, with no pressure to accept it or reject it. But it would be very enticing, otherwise it's not really an offer.
I considered offering her a financial incentive to explore the hotwife lifestyle, making it worth her sincere consideration so she could completely pay off her debts.
If she had any concern or fear of what I might think, now I would be putting my money where my mouth was. There would be no question I was serious and not just speaking with my dick. If she was having any guilt or shame, this might be enough to motivate her past that and feel first-hand that it isn't that bad once in the situation, and to see first-hand just how much it does for us as a couple. Or so I thought.
