One evening, when I was taking a nap after a long day of productive work, the doorbell rang. I usually didn't open my door unless I was expecting someone, but I guess I was tired, since this time I did it without thinking.
Behind the door were standing three women dressed in identical mannish-looking but femininely cut suits and ties. Two of them were wearing sunglasses even though it was evening and they were indoors. I guessed the one in the front only didn't because she already had eyeglasses on her nose.
I stared at them for two seconds and said: "No, I don't want to hear why God makes people suffer, please go away." I started to close the door, but the one in the front with short blonde hair shoved her foot between the door.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, as they forced their way in.
"Sit down, Mr. Decker," the blonde said in an ordering tone.
The other two, who were a tall freckled redhead with her hair in a ponytail and a Mediterranean-looking tanned girl with a massive cloud of black curls, appeared to be searching my room. The curly one closed the curtains and the redhead shoved me against the bed suggesting I should do as the blonde had ordered.
"That's not actually my real na-" I started, but I was interrupted by the blonde authoritatively raising her finger. She clearly was the leader of this group, whoever they were. The other two stood behind her with their arms crossed.
The pixie-haired blonde said: "We are from the M.I.A., Decker."
I had no idea what M.I.A. was, but since she was calling me by that name I had some idea what she might have been talking about. I tried to explain: "I know I have some weird fantasies, but you should know I don't really do any of that shit. Surely you know some real rapists and pedophiles and guys like that you should be arresting instead of me. "
The blonde raised her glasses with her little finger and looked at me accusingly as she spoke: "Yes, well, there are other people who do that. Our department's job is different, but it is no less important."
"And what is that?" I swallowed nervously, feeling that I might be in trouble, although I was not quite sure why. My writing might have been somewhat embarrassing, but as far as I knew fictional sex fantasies were not illegal even when presented in a written form.
The blonde pursed her lips and answered: "It is our responsibility to uphold the absolute highest standards for free internet porn, Mr. Decker."
"Err... What?"
"We have received several complaints from people who have said that while your stories made them come pretty hard, they were distinctly lacking in writing ability and their level of quality was below what is expected in our circles." Red and Curls nodded affirmingly behind Blonde as she said this.
"Is this some kind of a candid camera show? I don't think you're allowed to just enter people's homes and film them without permission."
"Tsk-tsk-tsk." The blonde shook her head and adjusted her glasses again. "The standard of your writing is frankly put, appalling, and your stories practically have no plots and are ridiculously unrealistic. You also use lots of commas, except sometimes when you should be using them. You start sentences in absolutely improper fashion, as well as constantly screw up your prepositions, almost as if English wasn't your native tongue. We know your style, Decker."
"I can see you are a fan," I dryly commented. The curly-haired girl behind the blonde seemed almost to smile, as if she couldn't quite hold her composure.
The blonde agent went on: "For example, you might write about three random women randomly showing up at your door and telling they wanted to blow you for some completely outlandish reason, and you wouldn't give them any real characterization or even proper names."
"I don't think normal people really care about stuff like that when they want to wank off -"
"For your information, I am Vance," the cool blonde said. "This is Kensington," she added, pointing at the freckled redhead. Lastly she voiced: "She is Garcia," which was directed at the curly-haired tanned girl.
I moved my eyes from one to the other. I noticed their attractiveness and inquired: "Do you have first names too? Although I think Vance is kind of a sexy na-"
"Those are the only names you will need," the blonde hushed me. "Otherwise you might do something stupid like write us into one of your stories. That would be highly inappropriate."
"Right, right... So what happens now? Am I arrested or what?"
Vance raised her glasses with her forefinger and smiled as she said: "We are going to blow you, of course."
"Well sheeit..."
Vance became serious and lectured: "There actually is a very good story behind this, at first it is very important to understand that -"
I interrupted her myself this time, which seemed to irritate her. Vance was very sexy when she pursed her lips angrily, as I asked: "You don't really look like it, so I don't suppose there's any chance any of you three are related? That would be really hot, you know, and..."
"Unfortunately not, Decker. My sister is a librarian. But perhaps you'll meet her later. I believe she just started working in the local branch."
"What about your mother?"
"She is a lawyer, and you definitely will be meeting her at some point if you keep this up."
Vance snapped her fingers and ordered: "Clothes off!"
The other two women behind her immediately started undressing each other, revealing some of the most incredible sights of femininity I could ever have imagined.
Curly-haired Garcia looked somewhat alarmed when the redhead's hands lingered on her naked breasts, slowly drifting along their pleasant round shapes, her fingers stroking the other agent's dark nipples.
"Keep your hands to yourself, Kensington!" Vance howled angrily when she noticed that.
