It's amazing how the simplest statements can lead to the most remarkable evening. My Valentine's Day started simply enough, back on Christmas Day. The family had gathered at my sister-in-law's house (well, former sister-in-law, since my wife, her sister, had passed away earlier in the year). It was a fairly somber affair, given the circumstances, but we made the best of it we could.
As we sat around, making desultory conversation, I noticed a box sitting under the tree, against the wall. Thinking it might have been something that Sophie's daughter, Carla, had gotten her new boyfriend, I asked,"Hey, Sophie, who got the Settlers of Catan game?"
Sophie, trying to hide a small, embarrassed smile, said, "It's mine. I got it for myself, so we could play when the girls here in the neighborhood get together on our game nights. I've heard good things about the game, but none of us have ever played it."
I walked over and gave her a high-five. "Excellent! I've played it a lot. You'll have a great time. If you ever want to talk about how to play, let me know and I'll be happy to give you some pointers." We didn't talk about it anymore that night, and I soon forgot all about it.
* * *
Valentine's day snuck up on me this year, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I hadn't been alone on Valentine's Day for almost 30 years, and I was kind of cranky about the whole thing this year. A week or so before, I met up with Sophie at church. She told me that she and two of her neighbors were getting together on Valentine's Day this year to play games. None of them had dates, so shen asked if I wanted to join them. When she mentioned that they would probably play Settlers, I readily agreed.
We met Sophies' house after work on the 14th and walked across the street to Connie's. Connie's husband was deployed overseas, her children were gone that weekend, and she didn't want to be alone. We were soon joined by Gretchen, who was likewise at odds this year, having gotten out of an abusive relationship last summer.
We were all of an age, with kids ranging from late high school to just out of college. Gretchen and Sophie had been friends and next-door neighbors for years, so I knew her fairly well. She was a willowy brunette who still had a lithe figure, and she had always been a pretty wild party girl. Connie was almost her polar opposite. She was of middling height, redheaded and tempestous, chubby and flirty. Connie had huge tits that she enjoyed having men look at, often wearing low-cut shirts and tights that emphasized her bouncy bottom. She was happily married, but her husband was often deployed and she was lonely. Sophie was taller than Gretchen and not as heavy as Connie. She was comfortable in her own body but hadn't been willing to date while her daughter was in school. Now that Carla was on her own, all Sophie needed was some self-confidence before hitting the mature dating scene.
These ladies often got together and whenever they did, the bar was always fully stocked. I assumed bar-tending duties, making up a pitcher of gin and tonics and another of Margaritas. We each had a couple of drinks while we chatted, nibbled snacks, and caught up. Finally Gretchen tossed back her drink, held it out for a refill, and asked, "Well, are we going to play a game or just get fucked up?"
Sophie laughed and said,"Why not both?" as she pulled out the Settlers of Catan gamebox. As we began to set up the gameboard, Connie fumbled one of the gamepieces, which fell into her vast cleavage, and we all laughed while she tried to fish it out. Once she succeeded, I explained the gameplay to them.
"Ok. The game board has five distinct types of terrain. The spaces are all hexagons. Each space generates its own type of resource: lumber, grain, bricks, sheep and ore. There is also one desert space that generates nothing. The thief starts there - I'll come back to that in a minute. Each of the spaces gets a token that tells us when that space generates its resource. This one, for example, has an 8 on the token. Whenever the player rolls an 8, anyone who has a settlement on that space gets one of that resource. We start out with two settlements and two road segments each. Everyone rolls, and the highest number goes first, and puts a settlement at one of the vertices of a hexagon. Obviously, the person that goes first wants to pick a space that is most likely to generate resources. 8s and 6s come up most often, 9s and 5, next most, and so. Once you place a settlement, you place a road segment connected to the settlement and extending along a side of the hexagon. The next player places a settlement and road segment, but can't place a settlement that would be less than two road segments away from an already-existing settlement. That means that you can only have three settlements on any one space."
"Once everyone has placed a settlement, the person who went last places a second settlement and road, and we reverse the order until the person who went first places the last settlement. Now we're ready to play. The first player rolls again and we check and see who gets resources. Since Connie is going first, she rolls and...she rolled a 6. Connie and Sophie get grain, and I get a sheep. Gretchen doesn't get anything. Now, in front of you, you will find a card that tells you what you need to buy settlement, roads, towns, and development cards, which are kind of like wildcards. If you have the right resources, you can build roads, settlements or towns, or buy a development card. If you don't have the right mix of resources, you can trade for them. Only the person who rolled can initiate a trade, but players can agree to trade on the next turn if they aren't up yet. Once you have ten points, you win. Finally, if you roll a 7, you get to move the thief from wherever it is to another space. Once you do, you can steal a card from any player who has a settlement there. Once the thief is on a space, that space will not generate resources until the thief gets moved again."
We clarified a couple of points and began to play. It took a couple of rounds before we had enough resources to make trades, but once we did, it got cutthroat pretty quick. It became quickly apparent that Gretchen wasn't getting the resources she needed, and no one wanted what she had to trade. She rolled again and grumped, "Fuck. Another god-damn turn where I get shit. Does anybody want to trade? I've got ore go offer." No one responded, and she said, "oh, come on, Steve - surely you have something you can trade for ore!"
"Sorry, Gretchen," I responded, "I don't need ore."
"Well, what the fuck do you want? An arm and a leg? The shirt off my back?"
