You know that hugely popular strip TV show on Italian TV. Yes, everyone dreams to be on that show, I know. And guess what, I was freaking fortunate to be on that kind of a show. I believe myself to be God's most favourite child because my life went upside down through (not after) the course of the show obviously in a good way. Nobody, literally nobody, can (on this planet or anywhere) ever imagine that life-changing experience.
I was a happy, newly wedded wife to a very loving and caring husband for one and a half years by then. He would always fulfil all kinds of demands by me. For example, we had already visited at least one country in every continent by then, of course, except Antarctica. We had been doing all the kind of crazy stuffs that newly wedded do and I was in such a high getting to fulfil all my whimsical demands that I had hardly any such wish from my hubby by then.
We were doing all things right and we had done everything we could do except sex that is the main course of sex (inter-course: P). Yes, you heard it right. No there was no issue, disease or any dysfunctions in me or my hubby. It was just the pre-condition set by me for our marriage. We (actually I: P) had decided that we're just going to chill for at least two years before planning for a kid. And he was so supportive that he was up for it instantly. Being a college beauty queen, I had had good one or two affairs at my college but somehow couldn't manage to get intimate physically with any of them. So I had never had sex before and after that eventful period (you'll find out). So you can gauge how sensitive I (both body & mind) could possibly be.
Another thing, I used to be a small time, rather a proud failed model. Just because I was (quite) beautiful, with a good height, a smiling face and good assets (:P), I thought I could be the best model ever. But it was a harsh lesson for me. I realised that modelling is not just about a good face and a sexy figure. It's much more hard work. BTW, I could have become a lingerie or bikini or nude model or even a porn star like some of my ex failed colleagues and earn very handsomely. But that was not me and no I don't judge them for their choices.
My two year deadline was approaching real fast and my hubby would always share his wish to be a father and that he can't wait to become one. But I was not really excited nor was I worried. I was just indifferent and little anxious. Because I knew having a kid is not the end but the beginning of a completely new life and a big, fulltime responsibility.
I always used to wonder if had missed something in life. Whenever I was alone and ponder in that way one thing always came to my mind. I had never had any crazy kind of affair with any guy wherein we would passionately long for each other especially bodily. And before I could even realise, it had gradually started to create emptiness inside me. It got amplified greatly with several later experiences. We had been to quite a few beaches around the world and twice to nude beaches as well just out of curiosity. We just wanted to see who were these weird (social) animals that roam around naked in the open.