It seemed like almost as soon as Sabrina stepped a foot out of bed, Keegan was alert and searching for her body. She'd made sure to be as careful as possible and she'd always remembered him to be a deep sleeper, but she now had to answer to his piercing eyes at 7 in the morning after trying to pack up and quickly sneak off. She had planned on saying goodbye right before she left, when she knew he'd have very little ammunition to convince her to stay.
She'd woken up to ten missed calls and twenty text messages. Some from her mother, Quincy, Janelle, her sisters and even her father. She didn't want to think about why they were calling; they probably saw her on television, heard her name on the radio or just had something negative to say in general. She didn't quite feel like dealing with any of it.
"Where are you going?" He was already panicked. She could hear the distress in his voice. She waited a beat to answer and he abruptly sat up in bed.
She hated this game she seemed to be playing with him. But the back and forth of her emotions was almost as exhausting for her as it was for him. She woke up recalling the events from the night before and was overwhelmed with all the emotions. She was happy she'd had the love of her life back. The lovemaking they'd shared was beyond anything she could've imagined. But now, she was tied to the success of his novel. She was the Sabrina that everyone across the country despised. She also had to answer to her family who witnessed the anguish she'd been through the past year and who now saw her legally bound to the man responsible. That was somewhat embarrassing.
"Sabrina," He hopped out of bed and reached down for his boxers on the heated floor beside him. Sabrina sighed, bracing herself for whatever conversation they were about to have.
"I need to take care of Venice." That was true. She needed to be walked and fed. Sabrina found his old tee-shirts and threw it over her head.
"Bring her here." He was confident when he made that suggestion. He had missed Sabrina's dog and would love to have the full experience of having Sabrina back in his life again. Venice and Sabrina were always an item in his mind. "And bring your things too."
Sabrina's palms grew slick at the idea. She wasn't sure if jumping in where they left off was the right approach or if they would start somewhat fresh again. Bringing her things to Keegan's apartment certainly felt wrong.
"I don't think—" She started.
"Do you still want to marry me?" Sabrina opened her mouth and closed it again.
Maybe her commitment to marrying him was sending the wrong message. She loved Keegan immensely and had dreamt of marrying him and spending their lives together. But that didn't mean there wasn't any work to do on their relationship. Especially now that they were under the country's gaze.
He ran his hand over his scalp and down his face. "Sabrina," He whispered intensely and took a step closer. "You wanted to have my baby last night." He regretted not doing it when he had the chance—when she so clearly loved the idea of him enough to want to spend 18 more years together. She looked bashfully at the open space beside them.
"I know what I said." She said meekly.
"I thought we had a good time. Was I wrong?" He begged, searching her eyes for some kind of answer as to why she was so eager to leave her new fiancé. "Just come back to bed for another hour so we can talk, please." He gathered Sabrina by her waist and held her securely against his chest. She held him with a lot less enthusiasm. Sabrina sighed.
When she thought of getting engaged, she thought it'd be the happiest moment of her life. Instead, she couldn't shake this sinking pit in her stomach that signified some impending disappointment. It was a constant state of anxiousness that she couldn't control.
"I just need a couple hours to myself, Keegan." She needed to think, talk to her best friend and figure everything out without his influence.
"Well, at least let me drive you." She did need a ride. She was wearing his shirt and boxers after finding a garment bag to put her gown in. She didn't feel like taking a cab. Keegan quickly got dressed and grabbed his keys off his nightstand.
They walked down to the parking garage under the apartment complex. When they rounded a concrete corner, she was shocked to see two photographers waiting near the parking lot's stretch. Keegan instinctively grabbed her hand and lifted the garment bag from her hands so she could quicken her pace. Sabrina ducked her head and hid herself behind Keegan's frame. A couple lights flashed before the talking began.
"Good morning, lovebirds." Someone called. Keegan groaned inwardly and hustled Sabrina toward the passenger side of his parked Tesla hatchback. Sabrina had to look into his eyes just to make sure he knew which car he had approached. He opened the side door and sat her inside before jogging over to the driver's side.
"Cover your face." He barked when he backed out of the space at twenty miles an hour. When he faced the cameramen, they illuminated the car with the photos they took. She hid behind her palm until they were out of sight.
*
The entire ride there, they sat in silence. Keegan latched onto her hand and held it firmly the entire ride, occasionally bringing her hand up to his lips to lay gentle kisses on it at a stoplight.
They pulled up to her apartment which looked so dull compared to his. Sabrina focused her attention on gathering her things and getting out of the awkward space. She reached her hand for the door's handle but Keegan gripped her forearm tightly. She turned to see his eyes welling up with tears in the rising sun. His face was twisted up with strife and sadness. Sabrina felt a pang in her own chest.
"Bri..." He pleaded. He hoped she'd invite him inside, suggest she'd speak to him later or at least give him a kiss goodbye. But it seemed as if she was just going to get out of the car without a word. Leaving him to lick his wounds of rejection without any idea of what was next. "Please talk to me." Sabrina swallowed roughly and ground her teeth together while her nostrils flared.
She was growing annoyed.
All of this—the proposal, the paparazzi, the sex and their relationship was way too much, way too soon. She'd made some choices while slightly intoxicated and now her sober self had to sort everything out. "I just need a second to think, Keegan." She told him sternly. He finally nodded in compliance but his hold on her arm was still firm.
"Let me take you to dinner tonight. Somewhere private." Meaning he'd be renting something out so that no one would recognize them. She wasn't sure if she'd get used to having to hide all the time.
