As I entered my one bedroom apartment, it was a relief to be back at university. I spent the break at my parents in New York and I had found the whole experience frustrating.
My name is Sania. I was born in New York but you would not think so from looking at me. I dress very conservatively in full Islamic clothing. I wear a niqab and jilbab.
My family is a traditional Muslim family and originally came from India, long before I was born. I never had any freedom at my parents home. From the age of 13 I started wearing the hijab and from the age of 16 I began wearing the niqab. This was initially at the request of my parents but I then grew accustomed to the clothing and I now always dress a niqab.
I wanted to study away from home. I found my life overly constricted in my parents home. They controlled every aspect of my life. I moved to Boston to study. It was far enough that I had little interference from my parents. I was staying in a one bedroom apartment on my own. I revelled in my own space without any interference from my parents.
I did take my religion seriously. Every night before I slept I would read the Koran. It was a habit I acquired at an early age and I have kept this up to now. I am now 22. I am 5'2" and my figure is curvy. I measure at 36d-28-36. No one has ever seen my figure as I wear loose clothing and I am covered from top to bottom.
I had a Muslim boyfriend. His name was Ahmed. We were friends more than anything else. We met online and it was nice to have a boy take an interest in me. He never took a sexual interest in me though. He treated me like a saint but I was sexually frustrated.
I masturbated and watched porn nightly. I loved reading erotica. I loved reading about interracial sex and rough sex. I was 22 and I had never experienced the touch of a man. No man could ever take a sexual interest in me due to my clothing. The way I dressed made people look at me oddly and I found it difficult to make friends or socialise. My religion was my curse. I was deeply frustrated.
I was texting my boyfriend and I was feeling horny. I decided to move the conversation towards something naughty.
Boyfriend: How was uni?
Me: It was good. I was thinking about you today ;)
I wanted to start gentle and develop into some horny chat. I just wanted him to tell me how he wanted to bend me over and fuck me senseless.
Boyfriend: I was thinking about you too. What were you thinking?
Me: I was thinking about our sex life after we married.
The idea of pre-marital sex was abhorrent to him. I thought talking about life after marriage might open him up to sex chat. I was really horny.
Boyfriend: We can't think about such things. We need to wait for when we are married. I need to go pray.
Oh god. He was so infuriating, his "holier than thou" attitude was annoying. I was sexually frustrated and he was not helping. I was so horny and I needed a man to scratch this itch.
I went to sleep in frustration and resolved not to message my boyfriend the next day.
I went to university. I was kept busy with my lectures and this kept my mind occupied and away from my horny frustrations.
I arrived back at my apartment at 7. I had received a few messages from my boyfriend but I decided to ignore them.
It was getting late and I sat down at my desk to read the Koran. I was reading a chapter on a husband's rights over his wife. A husband could take his wife anytime he wanted and she could not turn him down. As I was reading this I was getting turned on. I could feel my thong getting wet. Yes, I wore slutty underwear. I dressed as a pious Muslim but underneath my modest clothes I was always dressed as a slut in a thong and 1/4 cup bra. I loved sexy thongs and bra's.
I was imagining a man taking me roughly despite my protestations. I would not protest a man ever taking me. I was a horny willing slut. This was the first time the Koran was turning me on. I was getting so horny that I decided to start masturbating in my seat as I continued reading. I was rubbing my pussy through my jilbab. I started humping my hand as I was getting hornier and hornier. My other hand was roughly groping my large overflowing breasts through my jilbab. It felt so good. I was getting rougher with my breasts and started pinching and twisting my nipples as my other hand was furiously rubbing my clit. I finally came in my seat and screamed into the open Koran, "ohhhh allllaaahhhhh."
The orgasm felt so good and all the energy left my body. I simply undressed and went to bed in my bra and thong. My body felt relaxed and I slept easily.
The next morning I felt refreshed and full of energy. I felt guilty about my perversion and the sacrilege I had committed but I had to admit that the thought of being forcibly taken by a man was now my favourite fantasy. I needed a man who would force me into being his slut rather than the wimp of a boyfriend.
I had a good day at university and I felt happier within myself. My sexual frustration was still there but following my orgasm it was slightly relieved. But it was still lingering. I was a horny slut and I needed relief. I could never imagine finding a man that could satisfy me. All the Muslim boys I dated seemed to be only interested in marriage rather than enjoying the perks of dating. I was not the most attractive girl but I just wanted a man to want me.
I fell asleep that night with a fresh outlook on my life. I needed a more forceful man in my life. My boyfriend was not what I needed.
The next day I was taking a keener interest in the men around me. My clothing made it almost impossible to flirt or show a man I was interested in them. As I was returning to my apartment, I saw a package outside my door. I was not expecting any deliveries and thought it might have been left in error.