She opened her eyes three minutes before her alarm clock went off. It never failed. Cidni stretched and reached to turn off her alarm before it could start screaming at her. For the umpteenth time since she'd started her fifth semester of college, she felt cheated because of those three minutes of lost sleep. The sad thing was, she was on break yet again, and still couldn't escape it. Thinking about the events of the night before, Cidni wanted to put the pillow over her head and sleep for more than three minutes. Last night she'd come extremely close to fucking her aunt's husband. How would she ever be able to face him again? She sighed. She'd just do it, that's how.
She groaned. What the hell was wrong with her? Josh had been the very definition of imbibed, had to have been for, him to cry in her presence. What was her excuse? She thought that home wreckers were immoral little girls with no self-esteem, and she was none of that. So what in hell was she?
She contemplated marriage, not the broken version that she'd witnessed last night - to be fair she hadn't been the one to begin that wreckage, though that was no excuse. No, Cidni thought about what her parents had. Maybe all her childhood memories were fluff and after time she would have discovered cracks in their relationship as well, yet, she doubted it. What they'd had seemed ideal, true love with the strength to withstand anything, even death. Commitment, companionship, a real partnership, everything that Cidni herself desired. You couldn't get that from another woman's husband.
With that realization she resolved to prevent anything like last night from ever happening again. She liked Joshua, she cared for him and their relationship, and though they'd had their issues, she cared for her aunt as well. If Lisa and Josh continued to have marital problems it wouldn't be because of her.
Unable to combat her racing mind, Cidni remembered Lisa and Josh's wedding day. They'd postponed it for a year to tie up loose ends and plan the larger ceremony that Lisa had opted for after all and everything had turned out beautifully. She'd had so much hope for the two of them. Shameful enough, she'd even been Lisa's maid of honor (though it was mainly because Lisa didn't have any real friends, their relationship had certainly improved with Josh in the picture). She covered her face with her hands and told herself that she deserved every bit of the sick feeling that had burrowed itself deep into the pit of her stomach.
She slipped out of bed and began to make it up when she heard the shower turn on in the hallway. Just maybe she would be able to escape the house and go on her run without facing him just yet. Finishing the bed, she took off her pajamas and threw on a matching sweat suit, an oversized hoodie, ear muffs and her running shoes. She tied her disheveled hair up into a pony tail and headed downstairs.
When she went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water she saw that Joshua had laid out the white bread, butter, napkins and the toaster and that coffee was brewing. Oh, no he didn't. Cidni put the white bread back and exchanged it for a whole grain blueberry bagel, and then she dug into the refrigerator and found some yogurt and orange juice. She then got some granola and mixed nuts out of the pantry, tossed some into a tiny Tupperware cup and grabbed a banana off the counter before setting his place at the table. He wouldn't be "toast and coffee-- ing" it to work on her watch. She wondered if that was what he normally had for breakfast or if he had a hangover and figured that's all he could stomach. Oh well, he needed real food regardless. She grabbed a post-it note and scribbled "You need fuel! I'm taking my run, have a good day!" and placed it beside his plate before grabbing her jacket and gloves and heading out the door.
Being able to run without an audience was certainly something she'd missed while she was away. No catcalls, pick up lines, or rude stares interrupted her peace of mind as she ran the circuit around the park. Though a few people were there this morning, despite the bitter December cold, it wasn't as overcrowded as campus and everyone around here remained friendly and respectful, even if they were openly curious. The crisp, chilly air lent a measure of clarity to her jumbled mind but she couldn't prevent it from wandering to the events of last night. She felt foolish, and embarrassed, yet just thinking about Josh's touch caused the ghosts of all those sensations to come flooding back. They would get through the awkwardness and sexual tension, and in time, things would return back to normal she vowed, but in her mind, a tiny voice whispered that she was wrong, and that in fact, she liked the change. She pushed the thought away. It would not happen again.
She'd stretched and run a few laps before the familiar, satisfying burn entered her calves and thighs and it didn't take long for her entire body to heat up. Months of running every day had certainly built up her endurance and done wonders to her physique, not to mention her hair, nails, and skin -- though nutrition was a big part of that as well. Finishing off her fourth lap she stopped running, jogged the fifth lap, and walked the sixth. She'd discovered a while back that it was an effective cool down process and it helped her not feel so exhausted after a run. Noticing that some of the park staff had come out to put Christmas greenery on lamp posts and benches, she realized the other thing that had been missing at home. Christmas. Cidni stretched and headed back to her car, she would have to fix that as well.
On the way back home, Cidni chose to stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things that she had noticed were lacking at the house. She was pleased to note, as she was driving, that Maggie's Health Food Store and Grocery had expanded while she was gone. Good. She knew Maggie personally and was happy that her stubborn, no-nonsense personality was reflected in her business acumen as well. Cidni imagined forming some sort of alliance with Maggie when she opened up her new restaurant in town and smiled. Pipe dreams.
She turned into the parking lot and found the furthest space from the store, pulled into it, and grabbed her grocery totes from the back seat. It felt good to put healthy habits into practice, it kept her solid, grounded, and almost distracted her from some of her recent moral indiscretions.
When she entered the store, she was pleased to see Maggie right at the brunt of things, placing a Christmas tree in the display window, but she really hadn't expected anything less of the strong, steadfast woman.
"Cidni! How are you doin' hon?" Cidni received the older woman's bright smile and brisk hug warmly.
"I'm doing well, and you?"
"Oh, I'm doin', and sure can't complain. How's school? Looks like it's treatin' ya well,"
"I do believe it is, though it is a challenge sometimes," Cidni admitted.
"Oh phooey, I know you're not one to back down from one of those," Maggie tished.
"You've got that right Maggie, and I've only got three more semesters to go. I see you've expanded, congratulations!"
"We have indeed, and thanks. Go ahead and have a look-see, pick up all your goods. We'll give you the employee discount, you'll always be part of the family. Matter fact, one of the new girls is out sick, if you wanted some temporary work for a week or two the position's available."
"Well, thank you Maggie, I'll definitely consider it,"
"All right, take care and let me know then,"
"You too Maggie, I will,"
Forty minutes later, fresh produce and quality staples in hand, Cidni stood in the checkout line, perusing a bag of organic, chocolate-covered soy nuts. She was startled out of her concentration when a strong-looking hand reached out and grabbed the bag off the shelf. Looking to see who the hand belonged to, Cidni was pleasantly surprised to see a strikingly handsome man that appeared to be around her age. He had a buttery, chestnut complexion and expressive brown eyes, framed with long, dark eyelashes and thick, black slashes for brows.
"Are those good?" Cidni asked the guy, genuinely wanting to know. He smiled, revealing straight, white teeth. Nice.
"Better than M&Ms." He replied. Cidni laughed.
"I find that hard to believe," she said skeptically. To her astonishment Mr. Handsome opened up the bag and offered her some.
"You...didn't pay for that yet," she said shocked, but now finding it exceedingly difficult to ignore the hilarity of the situation. She saw the youth at the cash register look disapprovingly in their direction until her eyes lit upon the culprit. The teenage girl's expression swiftly changed into avid interest. Mr. Handsome leaned conspiratorially in Cidni's direction and nodded his head, indicating an elderly woman in front of them who was placing a vast number of canned goods on the counter one by one.
