My wife and I were finishing a quiet dinner, our first alone together in about a month. Ruth, my wife's cousin, was still staying with us while she and her husband tried to work things out, but she hadn't arrived home from work yet.
"Is there something going on between you and Ruth?" my wife asked suddenly.
"Huh? What? No. No," I answered, too quickly and much too innocently, "What do you mean?"
"She's not angry with you is she?" she continued, "You don't have a problem with her staying here, do you? You two seem very distant."
"No, no," I said, sighing silently to myself, "I've got no problems with Ruth. I just don't know her like you do."
"Good, she is my cousin and I want her to feel comfortable here," my wife explained, "She's going through a tough time."
"I'll talk to her," I said.
"I'm glad you said that," my wife pounced, "I'm so tired of talking with her -- I know she needs to vent, but I'm so tired of hearing it. Maybe you can talk with her -- give her the male perspective on things?"
"The male perspective?"
"Yeah, the male perspective," she said, "Look, I know Ruthie isn't the best looking, or the most motivated, but she is nice and she deserves to be treated better than she has been. She could use a pep talk -- she needs help with her self-esteem. You can talk to her, make her feel more positive. You're good at that sort of thing."
"Oh?" I asked dubiously, "What's in it for me?"
"C'mon, honey," she begged, "Please just talk to her for me ... I'll make it worth your while."
Before I could answer, we heard the key in the front door -- Ruthie was home.
"Oh, gotta run!" my wife announced gleefully, "I'll be back in a couple hours!"
A quick peck on my cheek and an even quicker goodbye to Ruth and my wife was out the door. Ruth stood there with a strange look on her face as she locked the door behind her.
"What was that all about?" she asked me.