The morning sun streams through the living room windows, casting long, sharp shadows across the hardwood floor. I groan, stretching out on the couch, my body aching in places I didn't know existed. The events of last night are a blur, a haze of alcohol and lust and shattering realizations.
I've called in sick to work. There's no way I can face the outside world, not with my mind a jumbled wreck of images and emotions, my soul feeling as bruised and battered as my body.
I've called in sick to work. There's no way I can face the outside world, not with my mind a jumbled wreck of images and raw emotions.
Emma enters the room, carrying two mugs of coffee. She set them down on the coffee table and sits beside me, her movements careful, her gaze wary.
"Can we talk now?" she asks softly, her voice a tremor in the quiet room.
I resist the urge to turn away from her, to retreat into the silence that has become my only refuge.
"What's there to talk about?"
"Mike, please," she pleads, her voice trembling. "Don't shut me out like this."
My anger flares, hot and consuming.
"Shut you out?" I scoff, the sound bitter, ugly. "What the hell do
you
want me to do, after... after what happened?"
"Please Mike." she asks softly, her hands twisting in her lap. "Let me explain."
"There's nothing to explain."
She flinches at my tone, but doesn't back down. "Mike, please. Don't be like this."
"Like what?" I snap, my temper fraying. My control slipping. "Like a man who just watched his wife blow another guy?"
The words hang in the air between us, ugly and raw. She stares at me, her face pale, her eyes wide and wounded, and I hate myself for the pain I see reflected there.
"Why didn't you stop me?" she asks quietly, her voice steady. Accusing, almost. "Why did you let it happen, let it go so far?"
I recoil like she's slapped me. Like she's plunged a knife into my gut, twisted it viciously.
"Stop you?" I snarl, "How the fuck was I supposed to
stop
that, Em? It just... happened! I went to the bathroom for a minute, and when I came back..." The memory flashes, vivid and horrifying. Emma on her knees, Marcus's cock disappearing into her mouth... "You were making out with himβ"
She shakes her head, her jaw tight. "That's not true. That's not what happened, and you know it."
I'm on my feet before I realize I've moved. Pacing the room like a caged animal, my hands fisted at my sides.
"Is that so?" I snarl, rounding on her. "Then why don't you tell me what the
fuck
happened? Because from where I was standing, it looked a whole lot like my wife throwing herself at another man."
"He told me." Her voice is quiet, steady.
I stop in my tracks. "What are you even talking about?"
"Marcus told me," she repeats, her eyes locking onto mine. "He tole me everything. About how you found him with Rhonda and Chris. About your conversations, what you talked about. Everything."
I freeze, my heart stuttering in my chest. My blood running cold, then hot.
It feels as though a hand is wrapped around my throat.
Squeezing, choking. Cutting off my air, my sanity.
Emma takes a deep breath, her shoulders squaring.
"After you left to make coffee," she begins, her words measured. Careful, like she's picking her way through a minefield. "I... I got off his lap. I thought... well, I thought it had gone too far. "
She pauses, her throat working.
"But he pulled me back. Told me everything. About Rhonda and Chris, about what you saw. About the way you reacted...The things you wanted."
I can't breathe. Can't think past the roaring in my ears, the pounding of my heart.
"I was so drunk," Emma whispers, her voice cracking. "I wasn't thinking straight, wasn't in my right mind. And in that haze, I... I told him things. Private things, about us. About how we've been talking about him during sex."
A surge of anger coursed through me at the thought of her revealing our intimate secrets to him.
But before I can speak, she continues, her voice taking on a desperate urgency.
"When you came back from the bathroom," she rushes out, her cheeks flushed. Her eyes bright with tears, with a wild light I don't recognize. "Marcus kept telling me you were right there. And he asked... he asked if I thought you'd be into it. If I would... if I'd go along with it... for
you
. "
She takes a shuddering breath, her hands clenched in her lap. White-knuckled, trembling.
"I didn't know what to do. Didn't know what you wanted, what you'd be okay with. But all I could think about was all the times.....you brought him up in bed. how you'd gotten so turned on by the thought of him with me..."
She stops abruptly, biting her lip so hard I expect to see blood. Her face a mask of anguish, of desperate confusion.
"When he.....when he leaned in to kiss me, I....really thought for sure you'd stop it. It would be too much for you, that you'd realize it was better as a fantasy. That you'd never want it to be real, to actually happen."
A bitter, self-deprecating laugh escapes her lips. "But you didn't. You just... watched. Let it happen, let it escalate. And then I don't know... I just got lost in the moment. When I heard you in the hallway, I knew you were aroused. That you were enjoying... watching me like that..."
Silence hung heavy in the air, punctuated only by the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece. Emma shifts on the couch, her gaze dropping to her hands clasped tightly in her lap.
Finally, she continues, her voice low and hesitant. "Mike, I'm not... I'm not trying to make excuses... or run away from what I did. It's just..."