"What the f*ck is a Sissy, Alan?" I asked this pretty smiling blond standing in front of me.
"Alana please James," she replied.
"Okay! Alana it is. So what is it that qualifies you as a Sissy?" She tried to answer but I continued, "I always thought that Sissies were cowards basically."
"It can mean two things James. Coward - as you just said. Or it can mean an effeminate man."
His reply made sense, "You were never a coward Alana," I said in all honesty, "and you certainly were not particularly effeminate that afternoon you and I got in a punch-up with those Blackburn supporters."
She remembered that afternoon in Woolwich after we had just left the Charlton Athletic football ground after a match and got into a fight with the opposing team's supporters. "Yes! I scratched one of their eyes out. Remember?"
"Oh that is rubbish!" I exclaimed as we laughed together, "You were swinging your fists like a dockside thug."
"Yeah! I remember!" she said, forgetting to behave in the way of the delicate little rose she was trying to be, "Bloody good fun weren't it."
Alana had, without warning, reverted back to being Alan; I was confused and it showed on my face. Alana, realising her mistake, looked embarrassed and glanced sheepishly back at me from under her pretty eyelashes.
"I forget sometimes," she said sweetly, now back into character.
I didn't know what to say. I felt a terrible sense of loss. My best friend was moving away from me emotionally. He had taken a fork in the cuckold's highway that I knew wasn't for me. And to cap it all I felt a prickling in my eyes as tears formed.
"I'll still be your best friend James," she said, reading the look of hurt on my face, 'Another one who can read my mind!', I thought as I stood in the kitchen feeling wretched, "I'll just be your Girlfriend that's all."
"What?"
"Oh sorry!" Alana exclaimed, "I didn't mean it like that, I meant that I will still be your friend, who just happens now to be a girl."
"The football season starts next week Alana," I said briskly, trying to break the gloomy mood, "so who am I going with? My best mate Alan; or my 'just happens to be a Girl' - Friend?"
"I told you James," she replied, "Football, Pub and Work - I shall be Alan. At home or with understanding friends - Alana. You are an understanding friend aren't you?"
"I am struggling Alan - a," I replied to this apparition in front of me, who I had to admit was making a very good job of being a very pretty young Woman, "but I have never turned my back on a friend - ever!"
"That's what Elaine said, just the other day," said Alana, "so will you be giving me away on Sunday?"
I felt a sense of unreality as I took in the words she spoke in such a casual manner. "What did you just say? Giving you away? Who or what am I giving you away to Alan? Alana - sorry!"
"I thought Elaine and Jackson had told you," responded a clearly alarmed Alana, "Master Bruno, Maddie and me are undergoing a Polyamorous Marriage Ceremony at Mede Manor on Sunday. And I will become my Master's Cuckold Bride."
"What the f*ck are you talking about mate?" I asked in a very loud, albeit confused tone of voice.
"Polyamorous means three people in........" she tried to reply but I cut her short.
"I know what Polyamorous means Alana," I said, "but what do you mean by 'Cuckold Bride', please tell me that you are not going to be his 'Wife'."
"In every way!" Alana said meaningfully, "I shall wear his ring, share his bed with Maddie and, when he wants me, I shall be his Lover too. In every way James."
She looked searchingly at me but I could not respond. I was totally shocked and I fully understood what she meant by 'In every way'.
"On Sunday James," she continued after waiting unsuccessfully for a response from me, "I shall have my hair done in the morning, put on my pretty white wedding dress and say 'I do' to all of the questions the vicar will ask me. The vicar, by the way, knows who and what I am; and he's happy to join us all in love."
The room went silent as, in my confusion and hurt, I could think of nothing to say - again. But when I did speak I realise now that I nearly lost the friendship of the very best and nicest person I have ever known. "I am not going to hand my best friend over to another man - dress or no bleedin dress!" I said grumpily.
Alana's face dropped as tears filled her eyes that remained wide open at my crass and stupid dismissal of what she now saw as her big day. And once again a painful silence descended in the kitchen.
"Don't be so silly cj," came a lovely familiar voice from behind me, "of course you will. Alana is your best friend and she now needs you. Just two seconds ago you said that you never turn your back on a friend and now you are doing just that. Be the friend you say you are and accept the honour Alana wishes to bestow upon you."
Elaine has a way about her that can calm any storm and heal any wound; that is why I love my Wife and I guess that is one of the many reasons that her Black Lover, Jackson, had found in her exactly what he wanted in a Woman. Gentleness, kindness and all round good common sense.
I turned around to see Elaine, Jackson, Maddie and Bruno standing in the doorway - each of them with a concerned and compassionate look to their face. And I felt ashamed.
"In your mind cj," said Master Jackson, "Alana is still Alan. But you need to get your head around the fact that your friend has not changed one bit. It's just that she has changed the outer wrapping and has brought you in on the secret - that's all. She's put her trust in you; don't let her down."
"Jackson! Thank you!" said Maddie, "that was a very profound thought and was well said." Looking directly at me she continued, "You need to see her for who she is cj - not what she is."
